Through The Looking Glass
by ttfan111robstar1
Summary: Rowena reflects on her relationship with her son. This leads to the both of them making an effort to repair their relationship. Now a multi-chapter fic. Now rated M for domestic violence and Age Play.
1. Chapter 1

**MUST READ Author's Note: Hey guys! So this story was originally intended as a one-shot but it has the potential for a multi-chapter fic. What becomes of it is entirely up to you guys. If you want more, let me know! Positive reviews are always welcome! Hope you all enjoy this fic!**

She sat by the window, looking out at the rain falling from the sky.

It had been a long and difficult day for her. Another strike out with a rich man. How on earth was she going to afford the luxuries to which she had become accustomed without magic if she couldn't land a man? She sighed and tried to forget about it. She pulled her iphone from her pocket and checked her messages. Nothing. She had hoped for something- anything- to serve as a distraction. Even something from her son would have been welcome.

As he crossed her mind, she could see her reflection in the glass. Her face was the same as it was the day he'd been born- just with better make up. She remembered the day with startling clarity. She'd gone into labor alone in a barn, laying on a cot. The man who had fathered him had fled upon hearing her cries, leaving her by herself. Her labor had begun in the afternoon, and was still happening when night fell. The night air was freezing, but she was in too much pain to go and close the barn doors. She'd screamed at the top of her lungs, screeching obscenities as she pushed her child out. Fergus was born at three in the morning. That first cry had pierced her soul, had changed her forever. She had sat up as soon as she could gather her strength and cleaned up the baby so she could see his face. His eyes were blue and his skin was pale. His hair was a dark mess atop his head. She couldn't tell what color it was. As soon as he was cleaned, she nursed him at her breast. She stared at him, his eyes shut as he nursed. A spark of love unlike anything she had ever felt ignited inside of her. She knew in that instant how much she already loved him, but she knew that it was too dangerous to love him. She'd rather die than get her heart broken again by another man, especially her own son. Besides, he was a risk. Another coven could use him against her if they wanted.

Her eyes welled up with tears as she realized what she had to do. She planted a single kiss on the infant's forehead.

"I'm sorry." She whispered to him as he stopped suckling at her breast. His head rolled back as he fell into sleep. She watched him, weeping silently to herself for a long time.

She wished suddenly that she had never been pregnant, never been exposed to this vulnerability. She cursed his father, a faceless man in a never ending string of lovers. She had to quash this love inside of her for this child before it got too far. So she channeled it into hate instead. She told herself that she never wanted him, that he was useless. She tried to cover up the love underneath a mountain of hate. Eventually, it worked. She had tried to give him away so many times, but that small spark of love underneath it all had stopped her. It wasn't until the Grand Coven found out about him that she finally fled. She wished him well inside, but never said goodbye. It would have been too much for her to handle. She had always been callous, cunning, and selfish, but that spark was still inside of her. She feared saying goodbye would ignite it again.

Time passed, and she traveled to many places, but at night before she went to bed, she wondered what had become of her son. Sometimes she would be walking down a street and see a mother and young son walking together, holding hands. She felt a hot stab of jealousy every time. It took her back to Fergus' childhood, when she'd given him whiskey instead of singing him lullabies. She wondered what kind of person she might have become if she had embraced that spark instead of trying to crush it out. She wondered if she would have done things differently if she had known then what she knew now. Maybe she wouldn't have been so lonely. Maybe she would have known real love- not the superficial kind she was seeking now.

She got up from her seat at the window suddenly, trying to outrun her thoughts. She went into one of her cupboards and pulled out a tea kettle, filled it with water, and put it on the stove. Turning on the gas, she walked around the room, her thoughts still chasing her. Part of her, a part she tried to smother entirely, wished her son might give her a chance to be the mother she had never been. But she knew it was foolish. He would always hate her. She had made sure of that. She had squandered the love of the only person who might have loved her from the start because she had feared for her image. That was the dirty truth of it all. Now, looking back, she realized what a fool she'd been.

The whistle of the tea kettle startled her from her regretful thoughts. She got out a china cup and poured herself some hot water before letting the tea steep in it for a while. She threw the tea bag out and brought the cup to her place by the window and took a long sip. The cinnamon tea was warm and perfect for the weather outside. She went to look at the lightning flashing overhead when she caught sight of her face in the glass again. The longer she stared, the more the reflection assaulted her thoughts, taunting her with what might have been.

And then suddenly, she was crying into her tea, ruining her mascara in the process. All of her repressed guilt and jealousy and self loathing came pouring out in one cheated sob. She turned her head away from the window in case someone were to see her and reached for a tissue from the box on a nearby table. She dabbed carefully at her eyes, pulling herself together almost at once. She couldn't afford to let regrets get to her. She had to find a way to let them go. There was only one way to do that that she knew of. She would have to resolve to herself that maybe someday she could be brave enough (or stupid enough depending on her ever changing viewpoint) to someday be the kind of mother to her child that she had never tried to be. To embrace the spark that still lived inside of her instead of letting her inner darkness smother it out.

Feeling slightly better, she went to fix her makeup and try and attract the attention of another powerful man. But before she left, she checked her cell phone one last time. Promising herself that perhaps she might even call her son later, she grabbed her purse and headed out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hey guys! So this story wouldn't leave me alone until I added another chapter. So here you go! I hope you enjoy it!**

Rowena returned three hours later in a slightly better mood. A spontaneous date had gone exceedingly well and he had agreed to meet with her. The happiness was almost enough to take her mind off of her son.

Almost.

She felt the urge to call him, and did so, but he didn't answer her. Typical. So she went on with her day. That evening she went to bed, still without having heard from her son. As she slipped into unconsciousness, she wondered if he could ever give her another chance.

Her dream that night was vivid.

She was back in the Winchester's bunker, chained up as she read the book of the damned. She had just realized that she had to kill something she loved. But instead of Oskar showing up, the newborn image of Fergus was suddenly squalling loudly in her arms. She looked up at Sam.

"What is the meaning of this?" She asked.

"You have to kill something you love." Said Sam.

"But I don't love him!" She insisted loudly.

Sam handed her a knife. "Then prove it."

She grabbed the knife by the handle. She held it up over the baby's head, hand shaking wildly. In that same instant, Fergus' eyes opened, revealing teary baby blues. He stared up at her with a gaze so innocent and trusting that it made her freeze. In that moment, everything became clear. He was innocent. She had blamed him for things that were her fault. She had taken an innocent, trusting child and turned him into a monster. Guilt washed over her like surf. She dropped the knife onto the floor.

"I can't!" She said, eyes brimming with unshed tears. The cry was a cathartic release. She had finally admitted that she couldn't kill her child.

Then, abruptly, the spark of love inside of her began to glow fiercely. This was her chance. The chance to be the mother she had never been by embracing the spark instead of running away from it. She clutched Fergus to her torso, letting his head rest on her shoulder. She knew instinctively that she had to get him out of there- now. But the iron chains were restricting her magic. How could she keep him safe without her magic? Her mind was reeling as she tried to formulate a plan. She grabbed the knife from off of the floor and began to try desperately to get herself out from her shackles. It made an awful racket, but she paid no attention to the noise. She was too focused to care. When someone tried to interfere, she swiped at them with the knife.

Finally, she managed to crack one off her hand. With the bit of power gained from having her hand free, she got the shackle off. Then, she started running, clutching her son tightly to her chest and murmuring words of comfort to him. She almost made it to the door when suddenly she was hit from behind overhead. It wasn't enough to knock her out, but it was enough to subdue her. Suddenly, Fergus was out of her arms, shrieking and crying loudly. She reached for him weakly. Sam carried him over to the table, grabbing the knife she dropped somewhere along the way, and then went over to her. He forced the knife into her hand and made her clutch it, then, when she was too bewildered to fight back, made her slice into her child. With a horrified shriek, she watched her son bleed out and die of exsanguination.

Rowena woke up crying in a cold sweat, clutching her chest as she struggled to regain her composure. That was the most horrifying thing she had ever witnessed, real or imagined. Her hand almost automatically went to her phone, and she wanted to call her son again. She tried to strangle the urge, telling herself that it wouldn't do any good, that he wouldn't even answer, but the urge kept on pushing. The words "call him" glowed in her mind like neon. Finally, she decided that she was going to lose the battle against herself anyways, so she might as well give in.

She dialed the familiar number, sighed, and waited.

"Hello, Mummy."

The sound didn't come from her phone, but from next to her. She jerked away in surprise and put a hand on her chest, trying to calm down.

"Fergus, you gave me a fright! You can't be doing that to me! I may look twenty but I'm over three hundred years old, and my poor heart can't take it!"

"Then I'll be sure to do it again. Now then, onto business. You rang?"

"I did."

"And?"

She swallowed convulsively. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't come up with a fake reason to call. She hadn't thought this through well at all. At this point the only option she had was telling the truth.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright." She said quietly.

He was about to make a sarcastic remark when his eyes finally adjusted to the lighting in the room and he saw the tracks of her tears on her face. Any thought he might have had about this being a trick was shattered instantly. His mother never cried. Not ever. As much as it pained him to admit it, he was a little worried about her.

"I'm fine." He said in a clipped tone. "Why did you think I wasn't?"

"Nothing... it doesn't matter now."

Crowley stepped forward. "I think it does. And I think you're lying to me about something. Wouldn't be the first time and I'm certain it won't be the last. Why don't you just come out with it? You know I'll find out anyway."

"Don't be calling me a liar, Fergus."

"For the hundredth time, my name is Crowley, mum!"

"Fergus is the name I gave you and I will call you by that name wether you like it or not!"

"So then I can give you whatever name I choose then? Call you a ginger whore whenever I please? Hmmm?"

"Don't talk to me that way, I am your mother and You need to respect that!"

"You have never been my mother!" Crowley shouted angrily. "You never took care of me! You never showed me any love! You abandoned me when I was eight and tried to trade me for pigs! You may have given me life but you were never my mother!"

The silence that followed the outburst was heavy and awkward. Rowena felt her walls breaking down. The nightmare was still fresh in her mind, and her son's outburst just accentuated the point. She put a hand over her eyes, and whispered quietly,

"I know..."

The admission startled Crowley into silence. The next words out of her mouth were three he never thought he'd hear from his mother in his lifetime.

"...And I'm sorry."

Crowley stared at her for a minute.

"You're playing me like a violin, aren't you?" He asked curtly.

"...I wish I was. I wish I could tell you that it was all a joke or a lie. But this is real. Too real. And I'm terrified because it is." She was quiet for a minute, trying to gather her thoughts. "When you were a wee bairn, and I held you for the first time, I looked at you, and I... I... loved... you. Instantly. It was something I still can't explain to this day. But I knew what kind of danger I was putting you in by keeping you. I told myself that I had to hate you to keep you safe. I told myself that I hated you because of your father, because I had you at all, and because I needed to hate you to survive. Because if I loved you, someone could use you against me, and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. So I tried to get rid of you to get you away and out of danger, but I was selfish and couldn't let you go. Until I was forced to when you were eight. I couldn't tell you goodbye. I was afraid if I did then I would start to love you, and put you at risk again. You were only a lad at the time, after all. But every night before I went to bed, I wondered what happened to you. I wished that things could have been different. That I could have been better. I can't take back my decision... But I wish I could. I've done a lot of thinking in the past day, and I realize now that I was wrong. You deserved a better mother than me. I was selfish, uncaring, and cruel. I wanted love all my life, and when you came along I couldn't see that I was destroying the purest love I had ever had. All I can do now is say I'm sorry and hope that you can forgive me someday."

Her words kept him quiet for a long time before he spoke again.

"Pretty words, mum. Too bad I don't believe a word of that rubbish."

"Think whatever you want, Fergus. But it's the truth."

"Maybe to you."

Rowena felt irritation flare up in her, and unconsciously started back into her old ways of communication. "You've made your point now. You may leave at anytime."

"Gladly." He said with a small smirk. With not even a puff of smoke to send him off, Crowley returned to hell, leaving Rowena alone to her thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

Crowley sat on his throne, deep in thought. He had sent all of his demons away for the time being just so he could have some time to think. He hadn't been able to get his mother off of his mind since he returned home. Normally he could brush off what she said to him like dust on his suit jacket, but these words dug in deep, made him stop and think. He replayed the words over and over again, turning them over in his mind like stones. He had said once before that he had based his entire kingdom on his hatred for his mother. But now her words served to undermine the very foundation of that kingdom. The ground on which he built it was being shaken.

It all came down to belief. If he believed her, he could potentially heal some wounds from his past. If he didn't, nothing would change, but he would always be left wondering what might have been if he had taken the chance. If he believed though, there was always the problem of if he could forgive her of what she'd done. Deep inside, he had always craved her love. Now, he wondered if he could accept it. Could he let go of that hate and anger and let her in?

A demon entered the room. He looked at him with smoking rage.

"GET OUT!" He shouted.

The demon, scared straight, turned and ran away. The door slammed and echoed, accentuating his loneliness.

For a long time he weighed the pros and cons of what he could do in the situation. Hours passed by, and he found himself leaning one way more than the other.

Finally, he made his decision.

Back in her room, Rowena got up from her bed, knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep anytime soon. So she brewed herself a pot of tea and went into the living room to drink it and maybe read a book, trying in vain to not think about the conversation she had with her son.

His words had cut her to the quick, and she felt awful. She had raised him this way. She had only herself to blame for his reaction. For the life of her, she could not fathom why she had not anticipated this and prepared herself accordingly. She should have known he wouldn't believe her. She was ashamed that she had dared to believe any differently.

She tried to read her book, but kept reading the same page over and over again, having not absorbed any of the words. Her tea was gone before she even picked up the book. She was restless, so when she finally threw the book aside, she ended up trying to clean instead, hoping to work out some of her anxiety through scrubbing out her oven or some grime left on some of her dishes.

When she finished, the sun was just rising over the horizon. She threw her sponge and gloves into the sink petulantly. Another new day was dawning with no promise for her, she thought bitterly. she decided to go and take a shower, taking care to wash her hair thoroughly. It always got tangled if she didn't brush it thoroughly enough. She used up all the hot water, but it was worth it. When she got out and finally looked at a clock, it was eight in the morning.

She went out to the living room intending to get her tea cup and book, and stopped when she found her son sitting in a nearby armchair, sipping a cup of tea.

"Fergus? What are you doing here?" She asked, confused. After taking a long sip, Crowley sat his cup on the nearby table.

"I've been thinking about what you said."

Her heart stopped in her chest. "Alright. And?"

"Frankly, when you first told me that, I didn't believe you. You've never given me any reason to believe anything you say."

He paused. She waited, and he took secret pleasure in watching her squirm.

"But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that you couldn't be lying, because you have nothing to gain from it. You weren't in public, no one else was there to hear the conversation, and you weren't under duress. So I had to ask myself why this was all happening now, and did a bit of digging into your mind. It wasn't until I looked inside that I saw what you had been thinking. Frankly, I was shocked. I didn't think you could feel anything at all."

"Ha ha." She deadpanned, crossing her arms. "So then Fergus, tell me, why have you come here?"

Crowley stood up. "I came here to tell you that after a lot of thought... I believe you."

Rowena had no words for the storm of emotions that were overtaking her chest. But before she could speak, Her son spoke first.

"But, just because I believe you does not mean that I trust you. That you'll have to earn."

Rowena stepped forward. "I don't think it will be easy, changing things between us. It will take a lot of hard work and time. But I want to give it a go. So I'm asking you now, Will you give me a chance to try and be a mother for the right reasons instead of selfish ones?"

Crowley stared at her for a long time. With a glance into her thoughts, he saw that the sentiment was true. But the knowledge that he was giving her the power to possibly destroy him was terrifying. He pacified himself with the thought that he could look into her mind at any time to see if her motives had changed. It was absolutely foolproof.

"I will." The words came out hesitantly, a reflection of his inner turmoil. Cautiously, he stepped forward, and held out his hand. His mother smiled, but something about it was different than before. It was softer and kinder. She shook his hand, and sealed their deal.


	4. Chapter 4

Rowena poured herself a cup of tea from the pot her son had brewed and sat down on the couch.

"Can I get you some more tea, Fergus?"

"No. I'm fine." He hesitated before continuing, "But I have a question I need to ask you."

"Oh? What's that?" She asked, taking a drink of her tea."

"Why could you love Oskar and not me?"

Rowena paused and looked at him before setting her cup on the table and sighing.

"You have to understand Fergus, this was a very difficult time for me. You were eight years old when I was forced to leave. When I found Oskar's family, and I saw him... he was eight just like you were. his hair was the same color as yours had once been. His eyes were the same color too. When I looked at him it was like I was looking at you. I only gave him the love that I had in my heart for you because I knew there was no danger there. If I loved you, you could have gotten hurt, and I would have lost everything. But with Oskar I had nothing to fear. It wasn't that I didn't love you. It's that I did- too much. I once heard a woman say that you can't replace children, but you can replace the effect they give you. I think that's what I was going for."

He nodded mutely. He wasn't quite sure what to make of her answer.

"I admit I wish I'd done it differently now, though."

"Really? What would you have changed?"

"If I had known then what I know now, I would have found you and taken you with me. I wouldn't have ignored my instincts. I would have tried to have been a better Mum to you."

Crowley was quiet after that, so Rowena changed the subject.

"So Fergus, tell me, what became of your mortal life?" She asked, picking up her tea cup. Crowley shrugged.

"Not much to tell. Became a tailor, had a kid, sold my soul, and that was it."

Rowena nearly spat out her tea. "You had a child and you never told me?!"

"Yes." Came the flat reply.

"Why?"

"Because I hated the bastard. He was always a little brat. Whining and complaining all day long. What a pain."

"Like father like son." Rowena said, laughing.

"I was nothing like that in my youth." He said.

"Oh don't be so dramatic, Fergus. When you were two years old you threw a fit every single time I didn't let you have something you wanted. And even then if you wanted it bad enough you'd take it anyways and try to hide it from me. One time you tried to hide a load of sweeties from me by eating them before I got home, and hiding the leftovers under your bed. You made yourself sick and threw up all night long."

"Mum, I was two. He was twenty six." And then suddenly he paused, brought back to reality by the thought that he was actually having a normal conversation with his Mother. Rowena didn't notice.

"Well, I can't believe I'm a grandmother. I look too young for it. What did you name him?"

"Gavin." She considered the name for a moment.

"I like it. Very strong. Where is the lad now?"

"He died in a shipwreck on his way to America."

For a moment Rowena looked disappointed. To appease her, he added:

"Don't worry. You wouldn't have liked the bastard anyways."

She thought about that a minute and then a grin stretched across her face.

"Alright Fergus, I believe you. But tell me then, what about the lass who mothered him?"

"I don't remember who she was. I was drunk out of my mind half the time. She left a screaming baby on my doorstep. That's all I know."

"What a skank."

"Took the words right out of my mouth."

They spoke about other things for a while. Crowley turned to look at the clock and found that somehow two hours had passed by without his noticing. He got up from his seat, dusting himself off slightly.

"Well mother, as fun as it's been chatting with you, I have some matters to attend to in hell."

"Alright. So you'll be going then?" She asked. He nodded. She walked over to him. "This was... surprisingly pleasant. Would you like to do this again sometime, Fergus?"

"Fine." He said dismissively. Despite this, Crowley rolled his eyes at his mother. "And It's Crowley, mum. I don't know any fool named Fergus!"

"Well I don't know a fool named Crowley." She countered.

The two stared at each other a beat, eyes locked. Rowena smiled just a bit, and her son, for the tiniest instant, echoed her.

Then, with a snap of the fingers, he was gone.

In the silent moments that followed her son's exit, Rowena felt a sense of peace growing inside of her. She was finally making some of her mistakes right again, and leaving her regrets behind her. For so long she had struggled and grappled with her relationship with her son, and now she finally felt like things were beginning to go her way. She would repent of her sins and try and do right by her boy for once. She went over to his chair and moved to clean up his China cup along with her own. When the glassware was tucked away safe in the cupboards, she found herself wandering back to the living room with a small smile on her face. Staring over at the place where her son once sat, she looked up and said aloud,

"One day, Fergus, I'll prove to you that I can be a better mother."

Unbeknownst to her, Crowley was still listening when the words were spoken, and he smiled. He wasn't quite sure if his mother had gained any of his trust yet, but he was content to watch as she tried to earn it.


	5. Chapter 5

After their first unofficial meeting together in his mother's living room, Crowley decided to meet up with his mother at least once a week (sometimes twice if things were slow in Hell) just to talk. But instead of talking about the Winchester's latest battles or what was going on in the supernatural world, they made a conscious effort to talk about themselves. Since he was only eight when she'd been forced to flee, Rowena felt she'd missed much of his childhood and overall humanity, and asked him endless questions about his life. Crowley, who felt that his mother had never showed any genuine interest in him except for when it suited her, felt like his mother had been hiding behind a selfish smoke screen for all this time, and was only now getting to know what it felt like to have a mother who cared. Very slowly, their bond was beginning to forge itself, and their trust in one another was beginning to grow. Both were cautious when expressing any feelings to one another, not wanting to be hurt again, but each risk of revealing an emotion to the other person was met with rewards. After about a month they were both finally feeling comfortable enough with each other to not get paranoid that every meeting would end in disaster.

For Rowena, every meeting was an affirmation that she was embracing the spark of motherhood inside of her. The spark, once attempted to be crushed out, was now being fanned into a raging flame. She discovered to her amazement and delight that fanning that flame had not weakened her as she had once feared. Instead, it strengthened her. It made her more alert, more aware of her surroundings. Right now, her life was perfect.

But there was one small blemish on her otherwise perfect world.

The dream she'd had the first night had continued to reappear, but this time it was slightly different.

This time, Fergus was snatched out of her arms by an unseen face. He kept running and running until he was out of sight. She screamed for him to stop, but he never did, and she couldn't catch up with him. Every time the nightmare woke her she felt like she couldn't breathe. And every time, she calmed herself down with deep breathing, and replayed the events of their last meeting, whatever it may have been. Her fingers always itched to pick up the phone in those moments, but she kept telling herself that he didn't want her bothering him. It might have been easier for her if she were physically affectionate with her son, but neither of them were huggers. It was just a step too far in her opinion, and his. She kept wondering what the dream was trying to tell her, but couldn't figure it out. She searched for symbolic meaning as well as literal ones. Was she afraid of losing her son again? That was logical. Was she afraid of this relationship being taken from her? Certainly. But what else did it mean? A possible kidnapping? Unknown forces acting against them? She racked her brain daily, trying to understand what it could be, but nothing ever came of it. So she learned to let it go.

Another few months passed by, and slowly the nightmares began to dissipate as mother and son grew closer. Somewhere along the line, their enmity toward each other vanished almost entirely, and their sarcasm was greatly reduced, but not gone. It was, after all, a part of who they were. After over three hundred years, they were finally behaving like a mother and son should.

The difference in the both of them drew the attention of others in their lives. Crowley's Demons noticed the difference in him straight away. He seemed to stand straighter, and he exuded power instead of mere apathy. But he also seemed less bitter. It was a puzzling conundrum for his underlings. The Winchester's too picked up on this, but even they couldn't put all of the pieces together. The idea of Crowley and Rowena on good terms was simply an idea too bizarre to contemplate.

It was a Tuesday afternoon when mother and son met next. They had tea on the couch as was now their tradition and talked for an hour or two. They had no idea that during their talk, they were being watched.

Some of Lucifer's followers had decided to see what exactly was making their king so happy. When they found out, they were displeased to say the least. So, they decided to make a plan to overturn their leader. They sent some of the demons that worked lesser jobs to try and track down some of the former members of The Grand Coven who might help them in their quest. There were only two left in the world.

Annabel Young and Fiona Paterson.

Annabel was a blonde haired blue eyed girl in a tightly fitted black dress with a slit all the way up to her thigh, and a diamond necklace at her throat. Originally a shy girl, becoming a witch had transformed her into a confident woman who used magic on a whim to fit her needs. For her, taking down Rowena was a matter of pride. All her life she'd strived to be the best witch in the Coven, but Rowena was always one step ahead of her. When she'd fled, Annabel had risen to the top, but had never had the chance to show up Rowena once and for all. For her, this was a final ceremony that had been long overdue.

And then there was Fiona, the light red haired girl with hazel eyes and freckles, who had been and still was the quietest member of the Coven.

Within every Coven things tended to be a little bit high school in the matter of hierarchy. Olivette was at the top of the food chain, Rowena and Annabel below her, branching out until they reached the bottom. And at the bottom of that pyramid of power was Fiona Paterson. She had been the group scapegoat from the beginning. Rowena had been particularly relentless in pointing out Fiona's shortcomings. After the Coven was forced to disband, Fiona went her own way and began to realize just how badly she'd been treated. So when the demons came asking for her help, she was delighted to comply, and prove once and for all that she would not be fooled again.

Two weeks later, everything was prepared. When Crowley went to his mother's that Tuesday, Annabel, Fiona, and several demons surrounded the throne room where their king was sure to appear. Then, they lay in wait for their prey to walk into the lion's den.

At precisely four o'clock, Crowley said goodbye to his mother, snapped his fingers, and reappeared in his throne room, with an army of demons and two witches waiting for him.


	6. Chapter 6

When her son left her presence, Rowena was suddenly gripped by a feeling of dread. It was the same feeling she had during the nightmares, but stronger and more immediate. It was so intense that it took her breath away. She tried to calm down and just drink her tea, but the feeling was rising, cresting inside of her, so she pulled out her phone to call her son. The endless ringing droned on and on. When he didn't pick up, she knew something was very wrong. But there was something else. She knew with some obscure sense that told her she could not do this alone. So she had to get help from the people she dreaded most- the Winchester's.

She decided that the most efficient way to gain their assistance was to pray to their guard dog of an angel, Castiel. She had no religious beliefs at all, but she knew that her son was in danger, and that it was up to her to save him, even if she had to do it alone.

"Castiel... my son is in danger, and needs your help and the Winchester's if he's going to make it. Get down to hell as fast as you can."

She had no idea if anything would happen, but she had no other options. She didn't have their phone numbers, and there was no other method of contact that would be fast enough. She moved with lightning speed, a cheetah on the run as she gathered up possible supplies she might need to save her son. As she prepared a spell to help her enter into hell, she told herself that this was her moment to prove to her son that she could be a better mother. And this time, she would not let him down.

Meanwhile, Crowley stood in the middle of a circle of people who hated him. He had known for some time that someone had been plotting against him for a while now, but demon uprisings had been the last things on his mind. He could handle demons with no problem at all. But he honestly hadn't anticipated two witches waiting for him. That was a bit more problematic than he liked to admit. Still he kept his expression smooth and blank.

"Hello ladies." He said to the two witches. "May I ask why two lovely ladies such as yourselves are consorting with such lowly demons like these?"

Annabel stepped forward. "Because we all hate you. And, just as importantly, we despise your mother."

Outwardly, Crowley showed no signs of emotion. But inside, he felt icy fear shoot through his veins. "Everyone hates my mother. Myself included. I'm afraid you've wasted your time here."

Fiona spoke up, her voice small but determined. "I don't think we have."

She tossed something Crowley couldn't see into a bowl of ingredients, and in the smoke he saw his meetings with his mother. Crowley shrugged his shoulders.

"So what? It's my kingdom, and I can do as I please."

"It's not your kingdom. Not anymore." A faceless demon declared. Crowley looked amused.

"Really? Who's going to take it from me?"

"Our father. You're nothing more than a child playing pretend."

"Am I now?"

"You soon will be." The two witches chorused. Fiona got down on her knees by a second bowl, full of ingredients, and Annabel began to speak the spell along with her.

"Invenire abscondit intra detrahere stolidae superbiae et ducite eum ad vivum cum primum clamamus fata mutari elit!"

Crowley's mind translated the words easily, and they made him panic.

 _find the child hid inside,_

 _strip him of his foolish pride,_

 _take him back to when he was first alive_

 _And let his fate be changed right now we cry!_

Just as Fiona put the final touch on the spell, both she and Annabel were thrown against the wall. Rowena and the Winchesters arrived simultaneously. Rowena's eyes were fierce and blazing.

"Get away from my boy." She hissed, holding them to the wall. Iron chains hanging on the wall moved by themselves to capture the two witches and render them powerless. Feeling that they were sufficiently incapacitated, she turned to her son, who had collapsed to the floor, and looked as though he was having a seizure. "Fergus? Fergus, can you hear me?" She asked, worriedly. He didn't answer her. Then, she saw the ingredients in the bowl Fiona had and gasped in horror.

"No..." she whispered. Before she could react any further, she heard it. The sound that had changed her life. The cry of her newborn son. In the same instant, someone swept him into their arms and was running quickly away from her. It was the final nightmare. She started to run for him when suddenly someone was restraining her from behind. Dean started running after him, but the demon was too quick. She could see the red faced baby screaming and crying, and felt the sound in her very soul. Then, they stopped running, and she knew they were about to leave. Her heart went into overdrive as she tried to fight her way out of the iron grasp holding her, and let out a heart-wrenching shriek.

"NO!"

Then, just like that, he was gone.

There was only a moment of silence before Rowena was filled with an overwhelming, fulminating rage unlike anything she had ever felt before. She felt strength flowing through her like a tidal wave of pure power. Her vision grew red, and she tasted copper pennies in her mouth from biting her tongue so hard. Then, with a shriek of angry defiance, she elbowed her attacker in the face, still holding the witches to the wall with her mind. She looked at every demon in the room with a look so deadly, it made each one of them squirm. Using every ounce of power she could spare, she used a variant of her personal demon-killing spell to kill every single demon in the room at once.

Then, satisfied with their execution, she turned her attention to the two witches she had imprisoned in chains.

It was time to make them talk.


	7. Chapter 7

Skulking over to the Women in chains, Rowena's face grew pleasant with a fake smile.

"Well, well, well, who do we have here? Annabel and Fiona. The witch who always came in second behind me with the girl who was barely a witch at all. It's been a long time, girls. Three centuries. You look well." Abruptly, her look changed to a furious scowl, and she punched both of them in the face as hard as she could. "But you made a big mistake in coming here." She said. She pulled Annabel's face into her hands. "Now, where did they take my son?"

"I'm not telling you." She said, turning her face away from Rowena. Rowena chuckled before landing another blow to the face. Then, pulling a knife out from behind her, she ran the blade along Annabel's cheek.

"Oh, I think you will. I have my ways of making you talk."

She spent twenty minutes strategically torturing her, but Annabel would not break. So she decided to go another route. Gathering the supplies she needed, Rowena looked at Annabel and Fiona and said,

"You shall not sleep without guilt, eat without guilt, or laugh without guilt.

Without Fear,

make your conscious clear.

Your conscious will torment you,

Until you tell me true.

The truth will set you free,

this is my wish,

so shall it be."

But that was only the first part. A hex of guilt could only take her so far, so she centered and grounded herself, then cast her circle. She was going to cast a spell to reveal the truth of the situation. She lit the purple candle in front of her, and meditated on the light of the flame for a few minutes, clearing her mind of all thought as best she could Then, she took a lapis lazuli crystal into her hand. Closing her eyes, she saw a bright white flame with her mind's eye. She pictured the flame growing larger and larger, filling the whole circle with light. She made this light as strong as she could, and held the image for a minute or so. Then, she sent the light into the crystal she was holding. She visualized the lapis stone absorbing all the light inside the circle, until it glowed brighter than a thousand flames. Then, she repeated the following incantation over and over again:

"May the truth I seek Be revealed to me, May the hidden come to light, So mote it be."

When she was satisfied, she closed the circle. The lapis lazuli crystal was now enchanted to reveal the truth of any situation, just in case Annabel or Fiona tried to lie to her. Plus, it gave time for the hex to settle in.

Finally, she turned her attention to Annabel and Fiona. Both looked extremely uncomfortable, and she relished in the look.

"Now then, who wants to tell me where my son is?"

Fiona looked ready to burst, so Rowena went over to her. "Fiona, tell me. You know you want to. Where. Is. My. Son.?"

Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. "THEY TOOK HIM TO A WAREHOUSE IN ARIZONA!"

She held a blade to her throat. "Where?"

"I don't know. Really. They didn't tell us where."

"Why did they take him in the first place?"

"They wanted Lucifer back on the throne!"

Rowena paused. "Lucifer is coming here?"

Fiona nodded.

"What else do you know?"

"I don't know anything else, I swear! They didn't tell us anything more."

Rowena accepted the answer, then turned to Annabel.

"What spell did you use on him?"

Annabel shook her head. She wouldn't crack. This was her chance to beat Rowena once and for all.

"Come on Annabel, I know it was you who did the heavy work on this. We both know that bampot over there isn't smart enough to do transfiguration spells of that caliber. So tell me, what did you use, hmmm?"

Annabel shook her head. She wouldn't give the answer away without a fight. Rowena's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You're playing with fire, Annabel. If you think I'm following the witch's creed right now, you're sadly mistaken. I can and will kill you without a second thought. You had the nerve to hurt my boy, so all bets are off on what I'll do to you. But if you tell me what spell you use, I might just have a little mercy on you and let you live. Tell me. What spell did you use?"

When she still didn't talk, she recited the hex over and over again until Annabel was red in the face with effort.

"TELL ME NOW!" Rowena demanded, angrily.

"We used the puer ad reformabit spell!" She confessed.

Rowena stood there for a moment, dumbstruck. Then, the ugliest sound any of the Winchesters or Castiel had ever heard came from her mouth. It was a whooping sound of complete, insane rage. Suddenly she was beating the two women senseless. Then, when they were good and bloodied, she ripped the solitaire diamond necklace from Annabel's neck as a trophy for herself. Then, she took the knife in her hand and stabbed each of them in the throat. She watched with malicious glee as the blood poured from their wounds. She caught some of it in a bowl (she'd need it for the spell to return Fergus to normal) and then waited until they had been completely drained of blood before letting them free from their chains. Then, with an ax she had hidden with her things, she beheaded both witches with a mighty chop to make sure that neither of them could ever come back.

Then she turned to the Winchester brothers and Castiel.

"You three, let's get a move on. We have to get back to your bunker and find Fergus before it's too late!"

With that, she dragged them toward the door to the throne room and up out of hell until they reached earth, Then led them all to an alley where she teleported them to the ground above the bunker.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam and Dean Winchester felt disturbed as they entered the bunker alongside Rowena. Capturing her to force her into helping Dean was one thing, but willingly helping her get the King Of Hell back was something entirely different. Although it felt awkward, they could see the wisdom in her actions. Crowley may have been bad, but at least he helped them on occasion. Lucifer back in charge of hell was the worst possible outcome of the situation.

While the two of them took their time coming inside, Rowena was already down the staircase before they even went through the door. She paced back and forth in a circle as panic filled her chest. She had to find her son now before it was too late. She tried to concentrate on ways to do that, but she couldn't help replaying his abduction over and over again in her mind. The sound of his cry, the Demon taking him away, and the moment they both vanished. Now that she had answers and some time to think it through, her guilt was on the rise. She should have gotten there sooner. She should have saved him. The more she thought about it the more she felt like she was about to lose it. So she turned to the Winchester brothers.

"Is there a place where I can freshen up?" She asked, forcing a smile.

Sam directed her to a guest room with a connecting bathroom. He shut the door to give her privacy but asked Castiel to keep an eye on her.

Rowena shut the door to the bathroom and walked over to the mirror, supporting herself with the sides of the sink. She looked at herself in loathing, criticisms of herself and her being unable to protect her child running in circles in her mind. She felt the harsh words chipping at an invisible dam in her brain. When it finally broke, she began to cry harshly, braying huge horse sobs but trying to be quiet at the same time. When she couldn't support herself anymore she collapsed to her knees, holding her chest as her tears expunged her guilt. She leaned against the door and tried to calm herself down.

When a few minutes passed with no sound from Rowena, Castiel went inside to investigate. When she wasn't in the room he was about to go and look for her when he heard a noise coming from the bathroom. He walked over and put an ear to the door and heard her sobbing. This was a conundrum he had never thought he'd face. Comforting a villainess. He knocked on the door, and heard Rowena gasp slightly.

"Rowena?" He asked uncertainly.

"What is it, feathers?" She asked.

"Are you uh... alright?"

"I'm fine." She said, picking herself up from the floor. She wiped her tears away and fixed her makeup before coming out. "Let's go."

Waiting in the Library, Sam and Dean privately ruminated over what they'd seen. Dean kept seeing the torment of the other two witches, and the methods she used on them. But Sam saw something entirely different. Rowena's scream from when the demon took Crowley away rang in his ears, and he kept seeing the way she looked. The utter and complete devastation on her face convinced him that despite her many protests to the contrary, she loved her son. Both of their thought processes were interrupted when Castiel and Rowena entered the library.

Rowena spoke first with great haste. "Alright boys, we have to find Fergus quickly and reverse the spell before we can go after Lucifer."

"Why?" Asked Dean. Rowena rolled her eyes.

"Because after a point the spell becomes permanent."

"How long do we have?" Sam asked.

"That's the problem. I don't know. It varies depending on how it's cast. To be on the safe side we ought to set a goal of finding him within forty eight hours."

Castiel stepped forward. "Where do we start?"

Rowena went over to the world map in the other room and pointed.

"Right there in Arizona."

In a flash of memory, the three men recalled Fiona's hex-induced admission.

"She said he was in a warehouse, right?" Dean said, walking over to the map himself. Rowena nodded.

"Aye. But she didn't say where it was."

"Don't you have a way to track him down?"

"Of course I do! But I need supplies to cast it. I need eight candles of different colors, a map, and a photo of my son to make it work."

"Done." Said Dean. "I'll go find some candles."

"I'll get another map." Sam jumped up from his spot to go look for one, leaving Castiel and Rowena alone.

"I don't believe what you said before." Castiel said. "You're not okay."

"That's my problem, fluff. Not yours."

"It became my problem the second you prayed to me."

"I don't know what you think you'll get from this. What do you want?"

"I want to hear you admit you love your son."

"That's ridiculous." She scoffed. "I don't love anything."

"Really? The way you reacted in the throne room when he was taken could have fooled me."

Rowena's eyes widened fractionally, and she felt violated suddenly. Like he was reading her diary. Before she could reply, the Winchester brothers returned with the necessary supplies, and Rowena put her tit for tat with Castiel aside.

She placed the candles in a ring, around the map in order of color, starting pointing east, and going clockwise. She wrapped the picture in something Fergus had written. She pulled a piece of paper he'd written on from her dress. She got the thought form in the middle. She lit the candles starting with red and ending with blue, visualizing the chakra relevant to color and imbued the candle with the color as she lit it. She chanted the following as she lit the red one:

"By the fire of his soul, I call candle light to guide me, so that Fergus must be found." She lit the ball of words and pictures in the candle, and let it burn with the candle for a moment.

Once the red candle was lit, she lit the next with the ball of words and pictures, giving each a specific way to help.

"By the Stars in his soul, I call Starlight to guide me, so that Fergus must be found."

She lit the candle and let the flaming ball linger a moment, and then chanted again:

"By the scent of his soul, I call smell to guide me, so that Fergus must be found."

She lit the next candle and let the flaming ball linger another moment, then spoke.

"By the heart of his soul, I call instinct to guide me, so that Fergus must be found.

She lit the candle and let the flaming ball linger a moment and continued in the same manner.

She lit the final candle and placed the ball in middle of map, as the map began to catch fire. She then created a thoughtform while holding the ball, and watched the map burn until it left one small piece of the map left. She looked at an enlarged version and found the only warehouses in old Scottsdale.

She looked up at the boys.

"Let's get a move on, then." She said, heading toward the garage. The three of them shared a look before following her out.


	9. Chapter 9

"Remind me again why we have to take my baby all the way to Arizona when you can just teleport us there?" Dean griped as he climbed into the driver's seat.

"I told you, I don't have enough supplies for it. Now shut your gob and drive." Rowena said, slamming the door shut.

Dean gave her a nasty glare and sighed. It was going to be one long seventeen hour drive. Both Sam and Dean expected fussing from Rowena, who'd been known to pitch fits over less, but she was entirely quiet the entire ride there.

Her thoughts were entirely focused on her son's fate. She could feel time slipping through her fingers. Very soon the spell cast upon him could become permanent, and then what would she do? Unconsciously, she fiddled with the necklace at the hollow of her neck. Her nightmares replayed in the back of her mind, making her fear rise in her chest. Her fingers went to her phone as they had when she had first had the nightmares, but this time her heart sank at the idea that he wouldn't be able to answer her. Castiel, noticing her quiescent behavior, looked at her suspiciously, but didn't say anything. Not while Sam and Dean were in the car, at least. When they got out of the car, he turned to Rowena.

"You're too quiet." He remarked calmly.

"There's nothing for me to talk about. My son is in danger and I'm stuck riding in this car with people who loathe him and me. There is no worse place for me to be than here."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because my son needs me. I may hate you and your buddies, and sometimes even my own son, but no one messes with my blood and gets away with it unharmed."

Castiel nodded and decided not to push any further.

The road trip continued until they finally reached The warehouses. They parked across the street in a dusty lot, and filed out of the car.

"So how do we find Crowley?" Asked Dean.

"With this." Said Rowena, holding out the lapis lazuli crystal. It was designed to show her the truth of any situation. "Come along, boys." She said, holding the crystal tightly in one fist. She followed her gut through a maze of large buildings. It was like wading through a grey-dipped universe. Dean began to complain that they were lost, but Rowena silenced him. She knew what she was doing.

Just when Dean suggested they give up, she heard it. The cry that had changed her life. Her eyes widened and she stopped breathing for a moment before she started running full speed toward the sound. The spark of love inside of her was raging into a fire that would not be put out. No one was going to stop her from saving her baby. She saw a broken window and climbed up onto the ledge. Looking down, she saw her son in a crib, with two demon body guards watching him. She had to do something now.

Her mind formulated a plan, and she jumped from the window into the building. She made almost no noise as she landed. She distracted the guards with a spell that made noises around the house. Then, quietly as a mouse, she whispered an incantation that would levitate Fergus from the crib. Carefully, she made sure she silenced his cries before levitating him over the bars and toward her. He was two feet from her arms when the guards finally turned around.

"Hey! Stop her!" One shouted. She closed the two feet between them and snatched Fergus into her arms. Then, something exploded in the warehouse, and the resulting shockwaves caused Rowena to be thrown backward against the wall. Her body curved protectively over the infant in her arms as she looked up in a daze. Reality came back to her in a rush and she scrambled to her feet, Running for her life and her son's. she didn't care that her legs were burning, or that her dress had torn at some point during the trip. Her son was all that mattered now. She was ten feet from the exit when someone suddenly grabbed her and put something around her neck. Her breath caught in her throat.

It was a witchcatcher.

Just as Sam, Dean, and Cas entered, one of the demons handed her a knife.

"Take this and kill your son."

"What?! NO!" She screamed, but her traitor arm was already reaching for the knife. Tears started leaking from her eyes as her arm reached higher and higher, preparing to strike, but it trembled, her will to save her child battling with the will of the witchcatcher to do as she was told.

Then, just as she was about to move her arm, Fergus' eyes opened and she froze. His bright blue eyes were looking up at her, just as they had the day he was born. In that instant she saw the reality of the situation. The spark, a raging fire before, was now a meteor, it covered everything and everything. The love inside of her for her child multiplied a thousand fold every instant, and it made her realize that she was wrong. Love wasn't weakness. Love was strength. And her love for her son was stronger than any object.

The knife was still in the air. Barely a second had passed. Everything looked the same, but Rowena was completely different. She brought the knife down in a shining arc, but turned so it stabbed the demon in the stomach instead of her son, killing him instantly. In the background of the warehouse she heard Castiel casting out demons, and One of the Winchesters was getting the witchcatcher off of her. When she was finally free, she looked down at her son, and put a hand on his cheek. He grabbed her index finger as she bounced him gently in her arms, and a smile stretched across her face. She kissed him on the forehead.

"It's alright, Fergus. Mummy's right here, and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: I do not own "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean".**

When all the demons were dead and disarmed, they all gathered in the center of the room. Dean, Sam, and Cas stepped toward Rowena and was surprised to hear her singing to her son.

"My Bonnie lies over the ocean

My Bonnie lies over the sea

My Bonnie lies over the ocean

Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me

Bring back, bring back

Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me, to me

Bring back, bring back

Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me

Last night as I lay on my pillow

Last night as I lay on my bed

Last night as I lay on my pillow

I dreamt that my Bonnie was dead

Oh, blow the winds o'er the ocean

And blow the winds o'er the sea

Oh, blow the winds o'er the ocean

And bring back my Bonnie to me

Bring back, bring back

Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me, to me

Bring back, bring back

Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me

The winds have blown over the ocean,

The winds have blown over the sea,

The winds have blown over the ocean,

And brought back my Bonnie to me

Bring back, bring back

Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me, to me

Bring back, bring back

Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me..."

When she was sure her son was asleep, she laid him in the crib, then, using a spell she'd learned from Letitia di Albioni to reveal the spell cast on her son so she could reverse it. She used the lapis lazuli crystal with a powder made of ashes and herbs. She blew a bit of the powder through the crib bars and looked through the crystal. A pink light engulfed her son, and she gasped suddenly and dramatically.

"No..." it was a horrified whisper.

"What is it?" Asked Castiel.

"They used the fastest acting version of the spell. He only has two hours left before it becomes permanent."

"Well what do we need to undo it?" Dean asked impatiently.

"I brought everything with me, but..."

"But what?" Sam questioned.

"It takes ah hour and a half to prepare and..." She swallowed convulsively as she said the next part. "...The antidote requires the blood of his kin."

"You're his mother." Dean interjected, Rowena shot him a dirty glare.

"There are three different ways to cast this spell. The first way becomes permanent after two weeks and only requires a few drops of blood. The second way becomes permanent after one week and requires a pint of blood. But this one... it becomes permanent after twenty four hours and requires enough blood to take a life, and I don't have enough time to cast a spell to revive myself."

She let the words sink in as they caught up to where she was already.

"Cas can-" but before Dean could finish Rowena cut him off.

"An angel of God revives the witch who's mother to the king of hell and is partly responsible for releasing the Darkness? Yeah, that'll go over well upstairs."

Dean fell silent. She had a point.

"Don't you have a back up inside of you? Like when Lucifer killed you?" Asked Sam. She shook her head.

"I've been trying to live away from the supernatural lately. But I guess my best efforts just weren't good enough." She sighed. Then she looked up at the three of them determinedly. "We have to do this now or it won't get done."

Castiel spoke up. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

She looked at him solemnly. "I have to."

He nodded, and she turned to the crib. She carefully picked up her son and rocked him in her arms. She had desperately hoped that Fiona and Annabel had cast the long version of the spell so that she might have time to spend with her child at this age. In her mind, she saw the possibilities that might have been. Feedings, cuddling, lullabies, and more. Her biggest regret was that she couldn't have more time with him.

She pressed her lips to his forehead.

"Goodbye my sweet wee boy." She whispered, eyes welling up with tears. "I love you. I'm sorry."

She lay him gently on the ground, trying not to wake him, and began the spell, mixing Annabel and Fiona's blood with a pinch of powder, and chipped off of a bit of the lapis lazuli crystal. She added some herbs and began to speak.

"With the blood of thy own kin,

Turn the clock forward again,

With the blood of those who cast the spell,

Change the clock and make him well,

Reverse the spell and turn the tide

Change him back so sayeth I!"

She looked over at Fergus one last time before picking up the knife. She trembled as she looked at her son and paused a moment to grab his grape-sized fist in her own comparatively giant hand.

When she thought he was asleep, she heard the softest coo that almost stopped her.

"Ma Ma."

To her horror and embarrassment, she started to cry. It broke her heart to do what she was about to do. But time was running out, and she had to save her baby, no matter what the cost. She was sure he would find a way to help her come back from the dead. More uncertain than ever, she slit her wrist from there down to her elbow, then let it drain into the bowl.

"ire ante tempus, fata mutari." She whispered, reaching out to hold Fergus' tiny hand. Laying on the ground, the blood drained out of her. Her breathing grew labored and her grip on consciousness and reality was weakening rapidly. She could hear the blood splashing into the bowl and knew it was working, so she concentrated all her efforts on keeping the arm above the bowl. Death came in one shuttering breath in and out before her hand went limp and she breathed her last.


	11. Chapter 11

As if sensing his mother's passing, Crowley began to cry. Sam and Dean looked at each other, confused when nothing happened. But then they realized that the bowl might not have had enough blood in it, so they were content to wait. Five minutes passed with nothing.

Then, a brilliant white light encased the baby. Even Castiel had to look away. When the three looked back, Crowley was in his usual vessel, fully clothed, with red eyes. It was a relief.

When Crowley opened his eyes, he was confused. A moment ago he had been in his throne room, and now he was... where was he? He moved to help sit up when he felt something on his hand. When he turned to see what it was, his eyes widened in surprise.

There lay his mother, who looked pale. Too pale. He'd seen it before in people who slit their wrists. There was blood all over one arm, but the other was perfectly fine. He stared at her for a long while, a dozen emotions flying through his mind and body. What had she done?

Shock set in. He couldn't quite understand what had happened. Then, he saw something sparkling next to her, and looked at it. It was a lapis lazuli crystal. Mother had taught him that crystals could be used to find answers, so he hoped she wasn't lying. He tore his eyes away from his mother's body and looked for a light. There was only one light on in the place. It was an old yellow overhead lamp, but it was the best he had. He held the crystal up. The light made it glitter like a rainbow, but then suddenly a white light shined from the top, and an image of his mother appeared. She smiled, looking at him in a way she never had before, and it made him wonder what the hell he'd missed.

"Hello Fergus." She said, looking at him. "If you're getting this message then it means that I'm not alive to give it to you in person. I'm sorry about that. But Annabel and Fiona thought they could get rid of you by turning you back into a wee bairn. The antidote required enough blood from your kin to take a life, and I didn't have enough time to save you and myself. So I picked you, like I should have for my entire life. You taught me something, Fergus. I thought that loving you was being weak. But I was wrong. Love is power. And there is no love more powerful than a mother's love for her child. I should have seen that centuries ago. But I only saw it when I had to protect you. You are my son, Fergus. You have my blood inside of you, no matter how much you change on the outside. I know you have the power inside to stop Lucifer. Remember what I have taught you, stay focused on the task at hand, and you'll be sending him right back to the cage in no time. And don't worry. I'm sure one day very soon we'll see each other again." She promised. She reached out a hand as if to caress his face. "Goodbye my sweet wee boy. Go and do me proud." With one last loving look, Rowena's image vanished and the crystal glowed in his hand.

Crowley stood there a minute, more than a little bewildered. There was more emotion in that speech than his mother had shown him in a lifetime. He could hear the conviction in her voice and feel the power of her words running through him like electricity. He tried to think of what had happened the past few days, but kept drawing a blank. Everything was so hazy- like trying to see through murky water. But he thought he could recall his mother smiling the way she did in the projection. She had said something comforting to him, and it had soothed him. It was a revelation. His inner self could finally be at peace because he now had what he had spent three hundred years searching for: his mother's love.

The moment was tinged bittersweet with the knowledge that he might not be able to pursue this newfound love any further anytime soon, but he would find a way to get his mother back. He wouldn't do so until Lucifer was caged or dead though, to ensure that he could never repeat the performance that had occurred in his throne room.

Now, he looked at Dean, Castiel, and Sam.

"Moose, Squirrel, Feathers, mind giving me a moment or two?" When they left the warehouse he turned to his Mother's dead body and looked at her for a moment. She looked the same and yet entirely different at the same time. He knelt beside her and held her hand.

"Quite a speech you gave, Mummy. It reminds me of the one you made the night we reconciled. I didn't believe you then. I told you that night that my trust was something that you had to earn. Today you've earned it. But as with everything, it's too late for now. I can't do anything about that for now, but I promise you I will get you back, and I will make you proud if it is the last thing I ever do."

He got up and used his powers to send his mother's body somewhere for safe keeping. He took a moment to orient himself. Taking in a deep breath, he knew it was time to get focused. He walked out of the warehouse and felt the wind blowing through his hair, and for the tiniest moment he could swear he heard his mother singing to him as a whisper in the wind, and it made him smile. He turned to Sam, Dean, and Castiel with a turned down version of his usual arrogance and said to them very seriously,

"Right then boys, let's lock Lucifer away for good."


	12. Chapter 12

The ride home was surprisingly quiet. Sam and Dean made conversation in the front while the back was quiet. Cas simply enjoyed the time to think, but every so often he glanced over at Crowley, wondering what was going on in his head. He'd seen the look on his face when he saw that his mother was dead. No one could quite explain it. Much as he hated to admit it, he feared for the demon. Not for his grief, although he knew it was there, but for his anger, which would surely come in the same way the angels would during the end times: by pouring his wrath over his enemies just as God was said to pour his wrath over the earth. And he knew that many people would be trampled as he continued on the warpath. For that he prayed to his father that Crowley might have mercy on whomever got in his way as he tracked down whomever caused all this.

But Crowley was busy thinking. He kept seeing his mother's body in his mind's eye. The knowledge that she would willingly give her life for him was confusing to him, causing conflict in his emotions. His love, his anger, his grief, his confusion, and his shock fought for control of his emotional state. His mother's words kept floating in his mind, points of starlight in his darkened soul. Her sudden faith in him was mystifying, but there was something that he still didn't understand.

What was Lucifer planning now? And how could he stop it? More so, what was motivating him to act now?

He tried to think of reasons for what his followers had done, but nothing but the usual came up. Getting back at God, celestial domination, and wanting him out of the way to be king of hell again. Still, it didn't make sense. Where and why did the witches have to come in? The questions were beginning to give him a headache. The only thing that seemed consistent was that the attack targeted him specifically. He sighed and tried to clear his mind. He suddenly longed for the human ability of sleep. The ability to escape reality for even a few hours would have been a blessing.

The drive to the bunker seemed to stretch out forever. Crowley was growing impatient, and by the time they reached the Kansas state line he was going stir crazy. Why hadn't he just teleported there? He wanted time to think had been his reasoning at the time. Now it seemed like fate granted his wish in the worst way. Oh, he could have left the car, but since he didn't know the full ramifications of the spell placed on him by the witches, he stayed out of cautiousness.

When they finally arrived at the bunker, Crowley went to the kitchen and poured himself a drink. Then, swirling scotch around in his glass, he planted himself in the library and sat down in one of the cushioned chair.

Dean clapped his hands together once as he sat down. "Alright, so what have we got?"

"Three dead witches, a bunch of dead demons, and no answers for why any of it happened." Said Cas. Crowley flinched imperceptibly at the mention of the witches. Sam ignored him.

"There is one common denominator that links them all." Sam said, pointing to Crowley.

"But that makes no sense. Lucifer doesn't have anything to gain from this. He's still in the cage."

"Maybe he got the witches in on it because he knew Rowena would end up dead. That meant she couldn't send him back again."

"Okay. But that doesn't explain why he's after me. He was amused by me the last time we met. He wouldn't do that to someone he found useful. Despite what he may think, I'm still an excellent crossroads king. He wouldn't get rid of me. He may demote me or make fun of me, but he wouldn't get rid of me unless I got in the way."

"And he didn't get rid of you completely with the spell they cast." Cas said. "He had the chance and he could have told the witches to kill you but he didn't."

"Exactly my point. If he could snap my mother's neck like he did, he could do the same to me."

Sam's eyes suddenly sparkled with new knowledge. "What if that wasn't Lucifer at all?"

Dean's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looked at his brother. "What do you mean, Sammy?"

"How do we know Lucifer was behind any of this?"

"Because his followers alone attacked." Said Cas, pointing out the obvious.

"They might be followers of Lucifer, but that doesn't mean he's up to something. They don't have to follow Lucifer to hate you, right?" Asked Sam.

"Yes...?" Crowley said, but he was confused as to where Sam was headed with this.

"No one has tried to open the cage." Said Castiel. "If they had the slightest clue that something was going to happen it would be all over Angel Radio."

"And the demons would be buzzing over it too." Added Dean.

"So what if someone is setting Lucifer up to draw attention away from themselves?" Asked Sam. They all caught up to where he was already, and it seemed plausible. And yet, Crowley felt that that wasn't quite right. He wondered why he felt that way when he remembered the lapis lazuli crystal in his pocket. He pulled it out and ran his fingers over it. The stone was enchanted to tell him the truth. So his feeling had to be for a reason. He mulled over other possibilities for a long while, but nothing came to mind. Then, another course of thought hit him like lightning.

"I think you're off just a bit, moose." He said. "What you've said is entirely possible, but I think you're thinking a little too much inside of the box."

"Meaning?" Asked Sam, slightly annoyed. Crowley gave him a sarcastic smile.

"Lucifer isn't being set up to take the fall for someone else. He's teaming up with someone else to take me out."


	13. Chapter 13

"Come on Crowley, that's ridiculous." Said Sam. "Lucifer doesn't share credit with anyone."

"Tell me another explanation that fits, moose." Crowley countered.

"The man has a point, Sammy." Dean agreed. "I mean think about it, Lucifer could team up with someone just for kicks and then end it last minute. That's not too big a jump."

"Okay, but who would do it?" Sam asked.

"Someone who hates you." Cas said to Crowley, who huffed.

"Right. Like that's a short list."

"We can try and narrow it down." Said Sam. " Is there anyone in particular who has been on your case lately?"

Crowley thought it over, and listed a few demons names. Using the lapis lazuli crystal, he said them each and was left with a feeling of emptiness inside. None of them were right. He sighed. What else could he do? He wished forlornly that his mother was there. She would know what to do.

"If we can't figure it out this way, maybe we can ask." Said Cas. Dean gave him a confused look.

"You really think Lucifer is going open up to us like some teenage girl in a diary?"

"If it meant selling the other person out to protect himself then yes, absolutely."

Dean looked over at his brother. "Sammy? What do you think?"

Sam shrugged. "What have we got to lose?"

Crowley was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Alright. Let's go."

He was still unsure about teleporting, but he decided to give it a shot anyways. He took all of them to a home in Lincoln Park, Michigan. The three of them looked at him confusedly.

"What, do you think I was going to transport you into the cage? I'm not crazy."

Dean shrugged and opened the door. Crowley gave Castiel that Lapis Lazuli crystal before he went in to test the truth of Lucifer's words.

There was the cage. Dean and Castiel went inside while Crowley and Sam stayed behind. Getting Crowley inside would have been a mistake, and getting Lucifer's true vessel anywhere near him would have been idiotic. The two of them waited outside anxiously as Dean and Castiel went in.

Lucifer wasted no time transporting the pair into his cage. He grinned, and Dean cringed as he saw Nick's vessel decaying.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Dean Winchester and my little brother. You sure are a long way from home. What can I do for you today? No, wait, don't tell me: you want to find out what nefarious plan I've come up with now, right?"

"Not quite, superstar. Look, we know you're working with somebody to take Crowley down, and we just want a name." Said Dean. Lucifer put on a face of mock hurt.

"That's it? No "hey, it's been a while, how have you been?" No small talk? No etiquette? You boys really need to learn some manners."

"Just tell us what we want to know, Lucifer." Said Castiel.

"I don't do these things for free, little brother. Everything has a price."

"Fine. What do you want?"

"I want you to stop killing my children. They have work to do, just like you and our brothers and sisters do. Swear to me that you will leave them alone, and I'll tell you what you want to know."

Castiel looked at Dean, who seemed to be weighing the pros and cons of the idea. Finding a loophole in the argument, Dean nodded his consent.

"Fine, deal." Castiel said, shaking his brother's hand. "Now give me a name."

"Angus McAdams."

Castiel fingered the stone in his pocket, turning it over in his fingers. His instincts told him that his brother was telling the truth.

Castiel and Dean shared a look before nodding.

"Little brother." Lucifer called. Castiel looked back at him.

"Yes?"

"There's something you should know about Angus."

"What?" He asked, gripping the stone tightly.

"Angus wasn't after Crowley."

"Wasn't?" Echoed Castiel incredulously. Lucifer nodded.

"He was after his mother." Castiel paused, letting that sink in. His gut told him that it was the truth.

"Thank you." He said, before transporting himself and Dean out of the cage and back outside the house. Crowley took them back to the bunker himself. Then, they gathered in library.

"Well?" Asked Crowley. "Who is it?"

Castiel handed him the crystal. "His name is Angus McAdams."

Cas looked for any indication of knowing him pass through Crowley's expression, but found none.

"Never heard of him. If I had to guess I'd say he's a nobody who wants what's mine."

"Um, I don't think that's entirely true." Said Castiel.

Crowley looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"Lucifer said that he was after your mother and not you."

There was a small flickering of emotion through Crowley's expression, and then a closing in. He was silent as everyone stared at him. Slowly, everything was beginning to weave together. His transfiguration, his apparent kidnapping, and his mother's sacrifice were plotted out carefully to get the maximum torment out of his mother while ending in her execution. It was a Brilliant plan, one he might have thought of himself. He actually was surprised he hadn't thought of it. But he regretted that it came at the cost of his mother's life- just when they were beginning to get closer to one another. Then, all at once, there was complete and absolute fury. How dare this man take his mother from him?! Who the hell did he think he was, deciding that her life was one worth taking. Crowley looked at the glass sitting on the table nearby with complete, insane rage, and it exploded, shattering into a million pieces. Dean, Cas, and Sam let out mutters of protest, but were silenced when he said,

"Be glad it was the Glass and not you."

A few minutes later, he was calmer, but still quietly infuriated. Finally, he looked at all of them with an expression of determination and righteous fury.

"We have to find out his connection to my mother."


	14. Chapter 14

Crowley Knew the course of action that he wanted to take, but he knew it was a risk. He had to talk to the only person besides his mother who might have the answer: the former head of the Grand Coven, Olivette, who was now transfigured into a hamster in his throne room. But going into hell now was dangerous. Lucifer's followers had gained more ground in hell since his transfiguration, and his supporters were either switching sides for their own protection or fleeing altogether. Now that his followers were preparing for an uprising, it would only be a matter of time before he was let out of the cage. He had to create a diversion. So, with a little planning, Castiel, Sam, and Dean snuck down there to begin a full fledged attack on Lucifer's forces. Castiel would still keep his promise to his brother. He would not kill the demons- Dean and Sam would. He would just disarm them long enough to make them vulnerable. He waited until the throne room was empty, then teleported himself inside.

Olivette was still in her cage, running endlessly on her wheel with her tiny necklace still on. He sat by her cage.

"Hello, Olivette." He said, smiling. "It's been quite a while since our last little chat. I was hoping you might know a little something about someone from Mother's past. Does the name Angus McAdams mean anything to her that you know of?"

Olivette squeaked. Crowley frowned slightly.

"I can't ask Mummy. She won't talk to me about it." He lied.

Olivette made another squealing noise. Crowley spoke to her impatiently.

"Yes yes, I know. Typical. Now can you help me or not?" He was anxious to get out of there.

He listened to her squeaks for a few minutes, translating her words into English while gripping the crystal in his hand. From that sensation, he could tell that she was telling the truth, and listened to the story unravel.

"Almost four hundred years ago, your mother was the daughter of a tanner, who was nothing like she is today. She was very shy and quiet, and she had a lot of talent at magic but was counseled to keep it quiet by her parents. When she was eighteen, her parents hired a farm hand named Angus McAdams to help with some of the more difficult labor. When she first laid eyes on him she fell head over heels in love. He was charming, smart, and handsome. He was everything that she could have ever wanted in a man. They courted for a while before they scraped together enough money and supplies to live together, so they moved to a small village. Somewhere along the line, things went wrong. He got uninterested, I guess. Your mother never told me or anyone what exactly happened. But he ended up leaving her. But when he left, she changed. She wanted to learn more about magic. She found our Coven and she wanted in. She seemed desperate to get into the group at the time. So we took her in. The more she learned the more confident and cocky she got. The more cocky she got, the more she thought she deserved to be the Coven's superstar. Her magic got more reckless and too extreme, and she had you, so we expelled her. But before she could do anything else to the Coven, she was forced to leave her hometown. And that's all I know."

"And the man? Angus? Do you know where he went?"

Olivette squeaked again. "She didn't say."

"You're sure?"

The former high priestess nodded.

"Very well. Thank you for your time, Olivette." He said, getting up. She squeaked her protests, begging him to have his mother turn her back, but he ignored her. He had bigger matters to attend to. He transported himself, Castiel, Dean, and Sam all back to the outside of the bunker with a snap of his fingers.

When they finally got inside, Crowley went straight for the booze. Though he could tell Olivette had been telling the truth earlier, he knew he was missing the most important piece of the puzzle. He needed to know what changed in Angus to find the missing link between him and his mother. But since his mother had never revealed that to anyone, they were pretty much back to square one. Castiel came in behind him with his coat a bit torn, but looking no worse for the wear. Sam and Dean, however, came in with black eyes, cuts, and bruises covering them. Dean's upper lip looked swollen and Sam was limping slightly as he walked.

"Well? Did you get it?" Asked Dean, pulling two beers from the fridge and tossing one to Sam.

"Yes and no." Said Crowley, drowning his emotions with a bit of bourbon.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Asked Sam.

"Yes, I got Olivette talking. She told me everything she knew, and it was entirely truthful."

"But?" Supplied Castiel. Crowley sighed.

"But she didn't know what happened to make him hate her. She just said that Angus seemed to get uninterested and leave her. But she didn't know why exactly. Mum never told anyone that part apparently."

Dean flopped backward onto one of the couches. "Great. So we've got nothing."

"I wouldn't go that far, squirrel."

Dean looked over at Crowley. "What do you mean?"

"We know that he left her at eighteen. We know his name. We know that Mum is the only one who knows why he left her in the first place. And we know that he was a mortal, which means he's passed on by now. If I search Hell and feathers searches heaven, we can find him and find out what happened between them if he talks." But then, another idea occurred to him. "Or..."

"Or?" Echoed Dean.

Crowley smiled at them. "Gentleman, we're going to find a way to bring my mother back from the dead."


	15. Chapter 15

Hours later, Crowley was combing through the men of letters books, searching through their archives to try and find anything they had about resurrecting the dead. Castiel had already realized there was nothing he could do because Rowena would have been sent to Purgatory instead of heaven or hell, and there was no way he was going back there. With Sam and Dean unable to do more than look through books due to being helplessly mortal, it was up to him and him alone to resurrect his mother.

As he looked through the books, his mother's words from the Lapis Lazuli Crystal echoed in his mind.

"…You are my son, Fergus. You have my blood inside of you, no matter how much you change on the outside. I know you have the power inside to stop Lucifer. Remember what I have taught you, stay focused on the task at hand, and you'll be sending him right back to the cage in no time."

Obviously Mummy hadn't known about Lucifer being only half the problem, but the rest of her words kept coming back to him.

"My blood inside of you... you have the power inside to stop Lucifer... Remember what I taught you..."

She thought that he could defeat Lucifer. Her blood ran through his veins, which meant that maybe, just maybe, he could be a witch too. Well, a warlock anyways. Now he just needed a spell to test the theory.

After hours of searching, he found a spell.

He gathered all the items necessary for the spell: one altar cloth, a glass jar, Hieroglyphics, Symbols of Osiris, Heart and blood of an animal, 4 white candles, and Holy water.

A living animal sacrifice was required, so 1-2 days before the ritual he went to a forest that was near a source of running water. He took a large male deer with him. Then, he near the source of running water (a small stream he'd found two hundred years ago while resting after making off with some priceless valuables.) with all the items he'd gathered together laid out on the altar cloth in front of him, he chanted:

"Adoni, Helumnay, Peenay. Adoni, Helumnay, Peenay. The gods do command theefrom thy majesty. Oh mapulamun. Adoni, Helumnay, Peenay, come forward blessed one. Now know your calling, come forward oh blessed one."

As soon as the deer was in front of him, he stabbed it until it was dead, catching the blood in an urn while carefully avoiding the heart.

Two days went by at a creeping pace. Crowley found himself getting more anxious by the day. But he tried to keep himself busy by gathering the other few things he needed for the rest of the spell.

Then, taking everything with him, he transported himself and four witches whom he blackmailed into helping him to his mother's grave back in Scotland. Some hundred years ago she'd faked her death to escape persecution, and had this headstone resurrected with her name on it. It was here that he'd sent her body on that fateful day when he'd realized that she'd died. He stroked the stone affectionately. He was no true witch, but with his mother's blood and belief in him, maybe he could make this work. He waited until the clock struck midnight. Then, with great retinence, he listened as Natalya, the most powerful witch of the bunch, said:

"Accept our humble gratitude for your offering: in death you give life, may you find wings to the kingdom."

With that Crowley cut out the heart of the animal with as much blood as he could. It was said in the book that Osiris will test the caster to see if they are worthy. Performed with 5 people, the most powerful witch faced the grave stone, while the other four people held lit candles on each side of the grave. The most powerful witch, Natalya, then poured the blood into the urn, and spoke.

"Osiris, keeper of the gate, master of all fate, hear us!" The witch dabbed her finger into the blood and made a line going down her forehead, and one on each cheek facing inward. Then she continued on. "Before time and after, before knowing and nothing." Natalya then poured all the blood from the urn onto the grave. Then she shouted into the night: "Accept our offering, know our prayer, Osiris. Here lies Rowena MacLeod of the people. Please let her cross over, Osiris, let her cross over!"

The five of them then waited. Crowley found himself getting antsy as the minutes began to tick by. The wind whipping through the night air began to howl, and some of the candles puffed out. Crowley sent the other four witches away, but thanked Natalya for her service before she left. Then, he stood by his mother's grave, and ran his hand over the stone. Maybe he just wasn't as good of a Warlock as she'd hoped he would be. He had let his mother down twice in one day. And still yet, he'd let himself down. He had dared to hope, dared to believe that maybe, just maybe he could revive the one person who might be able to help him. What a fool he was to think that war. The thought made him sigh as his hopes became dashed.

"I'm sorry, Mummy. I guess I just didn't have enough of your blood inside of me to make me a good witch. I tried. I really did try. But it just wasn't enough this time. I'm sorry."

"Do you always apologize to a headstone when you're feeling down on yourself?"

At the sound of the familiar voice, Crowley's head snapped up and he gasped ever so slightly as he whirled around to face the stranger who was all too familiar to him.

"Mummy?"

From out of the shadows into the pale moonlight stepped a cloaked figure. Pulling the hood of the cloak down, Rowena's smiling face was revealed.

"Hello, Fergus. Did you miss me?"


	16. Chapter 16

Crowley felt an uncharacteristic burst of emotion flood through him as he grinned at his mother. She pulled him into an embrace that was long overdue, and he didn't resist. For some reason it felt strangely right.

"I knew you could do it." She said, grinning happily at him. "You've got the MacLeod blood in you, alright!" She beamed. Crowley couldn't help smiling back at her, simply letting himself enjoy a moment with her.

"Shall we take this conversation to a more suitable place?" He asked.

"If you prefer." She said. He took her back to her home and sat on the couch while she made some scotch tea- strong with milk, just like she did during their multitudinous other meetings. She walked and sat across from her son, and they both took a sip of their tea before speaking.

"So Mummy, how was purgatory?" Rowena and Crowley both took notice of the preferred name he gave her, and both wondered why he kept calling her that, but they ignored it for the time being.

"It was very entertaining. Watching creatures kill each other and manipulating them all to do what I say was wonderful. But I felt like I was missing something the entire time I was there. Of course now I know that it was you. But I knew you would bring me back. My little Fergus." She grinned, chucking him playfully beneath his chin. Crowley rolled his eyes. Mothers were so embarrassing. He took a moment to enjoy the quiet before he got to the matter at hand.

"Mummy?"

"Yes, dearie?"

"While you were gone. I- I found out some things." He began.

Rowena's playful demeanor vanished, and she could tell what was coming was incredibly serious. "Yes?" She urged him on.

"Lucifer wasn't responsible for what happened to me and you like we thought. He partnered with someone to get you out of the way."

"Who, Dear?"

"A man named Angus McAdams."

At the mention of his name, Crowley watched his mother intently, and saw her actually physically recoil in fear. She gasped slightly and held her chest, panic-stricken. The fright in her eyes was palpable and her skin blanched paler than usual.

"You- you saw Angus?"

"I haven't seen him but according to Lucifer and the crystal you gave me he is the one responsible for what happened to us."

Rowena's shoulders relaxed a fraction, but not nearly enough. Crowley decided to investigate.

"Who is he?" Crowley asked. Rowena looked torn about what to tell him. "Please Mummy?" He asked, trying to butter her up.

Rowena sighed. "Angus McAdams was my first lover... and your father."

It was Rowena's turn to watch her son. A flickering of surprise in his eyes, and then a closing in.

"Why didn't you ever talk about him?" He asked flatly.

Rowena looked away from her son and rubbed her chest as she struggled to breathe.

"That man has done horrible things, Fergus. Unspeakable things. Things that make your torture in hell look like playtime at the park for the wee lads and lassies." She said.

For a moment Crowley felt as if he were truly seeing his mother for the first time. He reached out to hold one of her hands and asked a question he needed answers for.

"What did he do to you, Mummy?"

Rowena took in a shuttering breath, trying to hold herself together.

"He beat me. All the time. If I had dinner ready late... If I took too long doing something... If something went wrong I was to blame. The beatings happened more and more, and then he... he would rape me. But every time he apologized and told me he loved me... and I was stupid enough to believe him. It was the only love I had ever known, and I swore to myself that when I had you I would never love you like that... ever."

As she spoke, he could see the events she described happening like a movie in his mind, and it broke the heart he vehemently denied having. A teardrop ran down his mother's cheek, and he felt his vessel's eyes prick strangely. In an occurrence that was as rare as a shooting star darting across the sky, Crowley felt his vessel crying. No- more than that, he himself was crying. His lifelong question as to why his mother had never shown him love had been answered, and in the most gruesome way possible. Now, his earlier words about his mother rang in his mind. That she was incapable of love, and of loving him. But now he knew that the opposite was true. She loved him enough to not show him that love that she had known. It was a revelation.

Seeing her son's upset at her distress, Rowena pulled him close to her in a hug. Perhaps not fully recovered from having him as an infant, or possibly just for her own comfort, Rowena hushed him and gently rubbed circles on his back. The motion was so foreign to him that he leaned into the touch.

Then, an odd feeling overtook him, one that he didn't know how to explain. It was like he himself was floating out of his body while it went on autopilot without him. The floating sensation lasted only a minute or two, and then he was back in his meat suit. He was about to ask his mother what had happened when he realized that he had his thumb in his mouth. He pulled it out quickly, embarrassed, when he saw his mother staring at him, shocked.

"Oh my... oh my sweet boy... that spell must have had it's clutches in you deeper than I thought!" Her tone was alarmed and it made him sit up straight.

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused.

"I've heard of it only happening a few times. The spell was so deeply ingrained in you that it triggered black out periods where your behavior mimics what it was during the spell. You'll have no control over it." She said sadly.

Crowley hit himself in the face with his palm, making a loud smack as he did so. Now he had to help his mother recover from her abusive relationship, help her to kill his father, defeat Lucifer before he could escape the cage, and deal with the ramifications of the spell gone awry.

What else could possibly go wrong?


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: WARNING: There is graphic violence and language in this chapter. Reader discretion is advised.**

For the time being, Crowley decided to ignore the after effects of the spell. Rowena had cast a second spell that made sure when the effects took place his body shrank accordingly so that it was easier for Mummy to care for him. He knew as long as he stuck by her, he'd be fine. And, as always, life went on.

A few days after his mother's confession, Crowley made a decision. He took Hell back under his control for the time being, and had his demons search out Angus McAdams. If there was one place he would be, it was Hell. After a bit of searching, he found him. A brown haired man in a suit with blue eyes and a crooked smile was dragged into the room, and chained to the wall.

"What are you doing to me?" He asked. Crowley smiled slickly, then stepped backward. From the shadows Rowena emerged, looking frightened but angry and determined.

A wicked grin lit his face. He struggled against the rusted chains that bound him to the wall, but his face was calm.

"Rowena. It's been too long."

"Not long enough in my opinion."

"Don't give me that. I know you missed me."

"I haven't missed you at all." She replied smoothly. His smile faded into a scowl.

"Watch your tone." He warned In a tone that sent a chill up her spine. He rattled against the chains, and for a moment she thought he might break loose, but when he didn't she gained confidence.

"No." she said as strongly as she could manage.

He looked at her, half surprised and half furious.

"What did you just say to me?!" If Angus hadn't been chained to The wall, Rowena would have been terrified. But now seeing his anger only served to strengthen her.

"I said no." She said, grinning just to elicit a response from him. He rattled his chains but could not break free. "I've waited three hundred years for this moment. You played with my mind, with my emotions, and my fears for long enough. You're done, and you're finally at my mercy. I dreamed of this a million times, and it's finally my turn to get my revenge. You see, Angus, after you left I didn't stay a lowly peasant girl. I became a beautiful and brilliant witch. And I've been just itching to cast a spell on you."

She glanced over to her son, who looked a bit pale. Deciding this would be a good time to check on Fergus and let Angus stew in her words, she led her son out into the hall.

"Fergus, are you alright?"

Crowley looked at her, seeing double and triple. He swayed on his feet, and his mother, anticipating what would happen, held him up, and waited for the inevitable to happen. His body shrank as she expected, and she picked up the tiny and fragile form of her infant son in her arms, kissing his forehead as she settled him on her hip. The only thing that worried her was not knowing when he would change back. But for now she decided to ignore it. She made sure he had a diaper and clothes on before returning to Angus. She knew how much her baby boy loved to see people being tormented by her. She figured this would make him giggle.

Angus eyed the baby on her hip suspiciously.

"Who's that?"

"My son."

"You had a son? Who's the father?"

"Some idiot I made the mistake of sleeping with a long time ago." She said, setting Fergus on the ground. He started to crawl around, while Rowena looked up at Angus.

"Now then, where were we?" She asked. "Ah," she said, tucking a finger under his chin. "Now I remember. What to do with you?" She said, circling him like a vulture. "You're cowardly like a mouse, and shifty like a snake. I could transform you into those but... hmmm... that seems too easy. Maybe I should change you into a bird and let you learn to fly... that way you'll have a chance of getting something up!"

Rowena burst into laughter, but her words infuriated Angus, who felt testosterone flowing through his entire being. He gave one hard yank at the chains, and they broke free from the wall. His hand flew to Rowena's neck and he slammed her against the wall with crazed eyes.

"Shut your mouth you bitch. You don't say a fucking word unless I say you can. Do you understand me?" Rowena nodded, choking as she tried to breathe. "And if you try any magic, I will kill that baby. And I'll make you watch. Do you understand?"

She nodded, and suddenly it was like the last three hundred years had never happened. She was back to the same old grind. He let go of her neck and didn't hesitate to slap her in the face, and then punch her in the same spot, knocking her to the floor. She began to try and crawl away when he kicked her in her side. She curled up into a ball, making herself as small as possible and covering her head with her arms. Somewhere in her mind she heard a baby start to cry, but it sounded so far away and distant from her. Before she realized what was happening, she was crying too.

"You look like a slut!" He thundered, grabbing her dress and tearing it with his hands. "Who are you dressing up for, huh? Another guy?"

"No." She squeaked, putting her hands in front of her to block a possible hit.

He let out a low growl and grabbed her by the hair, forcing her head up. His hand gripped her throat in an iron grasp, then he threw her aside like a rag doll. He skulked over to her, looming over her like a monster.

Helpless, terrified, she did the only thing she could think to do and screamed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note: WARNING: There is graphic violence and language in this chapter. Reader discretion is advised. Brownie points to anyone who can figure out what song inspired the dialogue in this chapter.**

Back at the bunker, Dean and Sam had just finished a hunt and were home relaxing. Sam sat with a book in his hands, doing some research on the monster they had face, trying to figure out any other weaknesses it might have had than the one he had found. Nearby, Dean drank a bottle of beer as he flipped through a new copy of Busty Asian Babes. About an hour later, Castiel came inside.

"Dean." He said. Dean and Sam looked up in unison.

"Cas? What's going on?" Dean asked, putting the magazine on the nearby table.

"The angels have been talking."

"What about?"

"Something's going on in hell. It's been too quiet lately. No demons, no omens, no uprisings. Nothing."

"And they think that's a bad thing? Sounds like Crowley finally got things settled down there. Why should we worry?"

Cas gave him an odd look. Dean sighed.

"Fine. So what do we do?"

"Let's check in with Crowley." He said. Dean shrugged and pulled his cell phone from his pocket and pressed his phone number. Putting the call on speaker, he listened to the ringing until he was eventually sent to voicemail. That raised a red flag for Dean. He never got voicemail when it came to Crowley. Sam did, Cas did, but Dean never did.

"Hey Crowley. Just wanted to check in. Call me when you get this."

He hung up and then stared blankly at the phone for a few seconds.

"Maybe we should go down there. Just to be safe." Dean felt the words being pulled out of him. He had a niggling feeling that something wasn't right. Then, he looked over to his brother. "Sammy?"

Sam gave a noncommittal shrug. "Alright. But let's at least get something to eat first."

Dean nodded. "Deal."

About an hour later, Castiel took them down into hell. But instead of finding demons going about their business, the corridors were empty. It was eerily quiet. They went down the hall, expecting at least one person to be there and tell them what was going on, but there was no one there.

Then, in the empty halls echoed a piercing scream.

Sam and Dean didn't hesitate to start running forward, but finding the source of the shriek was difficult and the halls were like a maze. But the closer they got the more they could hear. They heard the sound of flesh connecting with flesh, and a man yelling angrily while a woman sobbed out apologies. The voices grew clearer as they carried on.

"Sit down bitch, you move again I'll beat the shit out of you!"

"Okay!"

They heard the sound of him striking her, and her quiet cry of pain.

"Quit crying. Why do you always make me shout at you?!"

A quiet sob emphasized the statement.

They finally reached the door and opened it. A large and physically intimidating man was looming over a huddled figure. But by her hair, they recognized the victim. It was Rowena. Her face was bloodied and bruised, her lower lip was swollen, her eye was blackened, and she was covered in cuts and scrapes, but it was her.

"Don't make me hurt this baby!" He threatened, and for the first time Dean and Sam realized a baby had been crying underneath it all. The baby had to be Crowley. There was no other explanation that fit.

"No! Please!" Rowena sobbed. "I'll behave! I promise!"

He grabbed her hair. "Come on, get up!"

"Angus please! I'm scared!"

"I said get up, bitch!"

"Let go of my hair! Please don't do this Angus, please! I love you! We- we can go away! We can take the baby and leave!"

"Fuck you!" He thundered, punching her in the jaw and sending her skidding across the floor. "This is all your fault!"

"You're drunk! You'll never get away with this!"

"I already have." He raised a fist to her and she cowered away sobbing, putting her hands up as a feeble attempt at self defense.

Suddenly, a hand reached up and caught the fist.

"No you haven't." Said Dean in a voice cold as ice. With all his might he punched Angus in the jaw.

Rowena watched the scene, frozen with shock and unable to move. Her tears ceased as reality played out before her. In a scene that could only have come from her most outlandish dreams, she watched the Winchester brothers and Castiel take down Angus. Castiel helped to hold him down while the brothers worked to cuff him. Angus fought them as he tried to escape, shouting to her and chilling her to the bone with his words.

"I won't forget this! I'll get you someday you bitch! Do you hear me?! You and your baby are DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE ALL DEAD!"

The door shut, and he was gone. There was no sound but the slowly fading noise of Angus' rantings and ravings and the sound of her own labored breathing. She winced each time she took a breath. A part of her brain told her that her ribs might be broken, but she couldn't really process or understand the thought. She was still too startled from her experience that reality seemed to be a place far distant from her. How long she sat there, mind numb and body ridden with excruciating pain, she didn't know. But reality quickly came crashing on her when the door opened and the three men stepped inside, free of Angus. She started to cry again, out of hysterical despair and relief in equal parts.

It was when she heard another shrill wail that she was brought back to life completely. She looked over and saw her son crawling toward her. She went over to where he was, despite the horrific pain dogging her every movement and pulled him into her arms. She sobbed and clutched the baby to her chest, kissing his head, cheeks, nose, and forehead in relief and joy.

It was over. He was finally safe.


	19. Chapter 19

Rowena didn't know how long she sat there, cradling and comforting her child. She was hyper aware of all of the men in the room, and her instincts were sharpened to the point of supernatural sensitivity. If anyone moved even a fraction of an inch in any direction, she saw it. When Fergus had calmed down and stopped crying, she got herself up from the disgustingly filthy floor. She decided to feed him and then hope with all her might that he would fall into sleep. She walked off, not looking at any of the others in the room.

She walked down the hall a few feet, and then touched four different bricks in a star shaped pattern. In a moment a door materialized that had been hidden before. Since the discovery of Fergus' spell shock, Rowena had been extremely busy. While her son was trying to take over hell once again, she had been busy preparing for the aftershock of the spell. She created a secret nursery for him to sleep in when he was in his infantile state of being. She had designed every aspect of the nursery herself, and it brought her joy unlike any other she had experienced. During her son's true period of infancy, she hadn't be able to give him more than a cot filled with straw. Now, she could give him everything that he had never had.

It was an oversized nursery, made in case her son happened to change back in a moment's notice. The crib was in one corner, leaning against a yellow wall, with a changing table in the other corner across the room, stacked full of diapers, pacifiers, and clean bottles. There was a shiny white rocking chair close to that, a brown toy chest near the crib, a tiny white bookshelf overflowing with books, a closet across the room, and adjacent to that was a dresser full of onesies and footie pajamas. Atop the bookshelf was a bottle warmer- the only electronic thing in the room aside from a convenient baby monitor. Much as she liked technology, she wanted this room to be a place away from all of that. She scarcely even brought her cell phone in here because it felt like such a sacred place.

Now, she filled a bottle with milk, put it in the warmer, and waited. When the bottle was done, she sat in the rocking chair, cradling Fergus in her arms and began singing to him about long lost times and touching the sky. She looked at him as he nursed, and saw his little eyes beginning to droop shut. She smiled and crooned to him, watching his head roll back, full and asleep.

Normally she would have laid him down in the crib immediately and let him sleep, but today she held onto him a little while longer. He was a reminder to her of what she had fought so hard to protect. That sweet little innocent face told her that she wasn't useless. She was more than just a powerful witch or a pretty face. She was a mother. And every time she looked at her son she was reminded that she had at least done one thing right in her life. She pressed her lips to the infant's forehead in a gentle kiss. She held him just a few more moments before laying him gently in the crib. His tiny fist moved slightly when she set him down, and he cooed quietly. Rowena froze, fearing she may have woken him, but he settled down quickly. Carefully, she crept out of the room and shut the door as softly as she could.

She decided she wasn't ready to face the judgmental faces of the Winchester brothers and their guard dog of an angel yet, so she went into the nearby bathroom to freshen up. She was going to try and take a shower when she noticed something gleaming overhead and made the mistake of looking toward it, which landed her face to face with her own reflection.

She longed for the days when mirrors hadn't existed, because the image standing before her was utterly horrific. Her eye was black and screwed shut. She had cuts and bruises all over her, and she was fairly sure that half of them covered her ribs and face. Her lips were swollen and her nose was bleeding a little. She raised her hand experimentally to her face. The woman in the mirror copied her. A feeling of revulsion rose up in her chest. She had never felt so ugly in all her life. She was just one man's punching bag.

It didn't matter that she was a witch now, or that she was mother to the king of hell. She was a coward. A powerless, idiotic coward. She could have stood up for herself. She could have taken Fergus and ran. But no. Instead she had made herself a victim. And After all those years of telling herself that if he ever came back things would be different. All that time she had been kidding herself. When it came to Angus things between them would never change. She would never be strong enough to do what needed to be done to him.

Abruptly, a flash of anger burned up all of her reason and better judgement, and she raised her fist and punched the mirror in the center. Dozens of images of herself stared back at her, and it was like she was looking at a dozen different versions of herself. Despite this, she couldn't help but smile. The mirror was shattered. So was she.

The bathroom door opened suddenly, making her whirl around and jump backward. She was about to yell at whoever it was to get the hell out of there and leave her alone when she caught sight of who it was.

There stood her son, fully recovered from his time as an infant and staring blankly at his battered mother.


	20. Chapter 20

For a very long moment, Mother and son stared at one another in silent tableau. Unconsciously, Rowena felt her back straighten. She cleared her face of any tears or distress and pulled her face into a smiling mask almost at once.

"Fergus… I didn't hear you get up."

But Crowley wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. How could he explain the feelings fighting for control of him? Looking at his mother's face made him want to vomit. It was a combination of revulsion, horrified fascination, confusion, guilt, anger, and sorrow. That horrifying cocktail of feelings swept through him, coloring his thoughts and words. When he finally spoke, it was in shock.

"Mummy, what happened to you?"

The way he phrased the question made her think it was a three year old child asking it, and her demeanor softened notably.

"Mummy just had a bad day. Please don't worry about me, dearie. I'll be perfectly fine, I promise you. A little healing spell and I'll be right as rain.

"Did he do this to you?"

"It was my fault." She found herself saying. "I provoked him, and I paid the price." She said, rubbing her arm unconsciously.

Even as she said the words she was surprised at how deeply she felt them. It was just like when they had been involved as a couple all those centuries ago. Somehow everything had always been her fault, and she had always taken it that way at the time. He had been in complete control of her. But when he had gone and she had begun to discover magic and the true strength inside of herself, she began to realize that it wasn't her fault at all. It was his. He couldn't control his anger. He lashed out at her to cover his faults. He belittled her into feeling like she was nothing to build himself up. The realization had freed her, and she had been able to move on from being that scared little girl who smelled of filth and death.

But then today had happened. Today had robbed her of three hundred years of progress and sent her back to square one, all because she resorted back to her cowardly ways when he began to hold her hostage. She could not put her shame into words.

Crowley looked at his mother, appraising her up and down. She was covered in so many bruises that he thought she might be able to call them a new dress if she had half a mind to. It sickened him to his core to see her so weakened. A voice inside of him kept saying that he should kill the bastard now and just get it over with, but his rational side kept telling him that that was much too easy. He grew upset very quickly when he heard his mother's comment.

"You think all this is your fault?" He asked in a soft monotone. He had to be sure of what he had heard.

He did not miss her almost imperceptible nod.

Rage, full and undiluted swept through his body. He gave his mother a smoking glare, and didn't miss the way she flinched under his imperious gaze. He took a breath to steady himself.

"Mummy, this isn't your fault at all." At that, her head snapped up. She eyed him warily. "He's the jackass with all of the problems and he took it out on you. Don't listen to a word he says. It isn't worth your time. I promise you." She smiled a little at that.

"You sound so grown up." She said, smiling. The smile faded when she thought of what she'd had to go through to save him. He didn't miss the change in her demeanor, but thought she was having a flashback of some sort.

"It's alright. I'll protect you."

She smiled a bitter, rueful smile, and he was suddenly imbued with the knowledge that something more had happened here.

"Mummy? What aren't you telling me?"

"It's nothing, dear."

"Just tell me." He sighed, exasperated. Rowena looked away from her son.

"When you regressed he threatened you to get me to comply."

It took Crowley a few moments to absorb her words. When they finally set in he was speechless. His mother had sacrificed everything for him. And what could he give her in return? Empty promises and platitudes? No. No more. He may have been a liar when he made promises to the demons to return Hell to it's former glory, but this was a promise that he would keep. He would not let himself be used for his mother's torment.

It was time to make him pay.

Rowena saw the fire light in her son's eyes, and it sparked something inside of her. A way of thinking that she had abandoned too easily in her youth. She had made excuses for his behavior long enough. No more. Crowley held a hand out to her.

"I won't let him get away with this, Mummy. I promise that he will never hurt you again."

"Fergus, you know better than to make promises you can't keep."

"I intend to keep this one."

"How?"

A devilish grin swept across his face. "Because we're going to kill him. Together."

Rowena looked up in surprise at that. The words almost made her want to laugh and ask her son if he was serious, but she could tell by the look on his face and the tenseness in his muscles that he was indeed completely serious so she held back a laugh. She knew if anyone could break Angus into a million pieces before helping him to meet his untimely end, it was her little boy. She smiled, and it made her son grin even more until he looked like the Cheshire Cat from Alice In Wonderland. After all, what else did she have to lose? She reached out to him and looped her arm through his and began leading him out of the bathroom.

"You've got yourself a deal."

The impish grin only widened from there. "Perfect."


	21. Chapter 21

Mother and son went outside to where the Winchester brothers and Castiel stood. Rowena felt embarrassment bubble up inside of her like a wellspring of pure shame, but she did not move to leave, as she was held in place by her son. She couldn't help but examine the looks on their faces. Dean looked at her with a stony eye. There was no sympathy that she could detect in his glance, and she figured that he was keeping things as objective as possible. Sam, however, looked at her with a pity and sadness that reminded her all too well of who she used to be. And Castiel looked at her with a look of pity and confusion, not quite able to grasp why what had happened had happened. For about a minute, nobody spoke a word. Then, Sam stepped forward.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

Rowena forced a smile onto her face. "I'm fine. Really."

"Are you sure? Because you look like you just survived a war with gladiators and lost your armor." Said Dean. Crowley shot him a withering scowl. Despite his friendship with Dean, that was going over the line. His mother didn't need to feel any worse than she already did. Sam seemed to notice this too and promptly elbowed his older brother in the ribs. When Rowena looked down, clearly affected by his words, Dean felt a pinch of guilt in his chest. Crowley hurriedly decided to move things along.

"Be that as it may, squirrel, that's not what's important right now."

Dean felt both of his eyebrows shoot up in surprise at his words. That was definitely unexpected.

"Okay… Then what is?"

"What did you do with Angus?"

"The guy was pounding on her. We pulled him off her and carried the bastard out until we found a place to chain him up."

"Where?"

"In one of the rooms in the hall. Why?"

"Because Mum and I decided that it's time for a little payback."

Dean scoffed. "You're going to go back in there? After all that? Are you crazy?"

"Perhaps. It's not the strangest thing to ever happen, you know."

"I get why you would want to go in there, but why would you take her in there?" He asked, gesturing to Rowena.

"Because it's my turn to get the advantage over him and make him suffer." She said, voice surprisingly strong and resolute.

Dean ogled at her for a moment before he recovered himself.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" He asked.

Rowena glared at him. "Do I look like I was joking?"

"No…" He said, hesitantly.

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Are you finished with the Spanish Inquisition?"

Sam couldn't help but snigger at the comparison, while Dean eyed his brother as a traitor.

"Are you two quite finished?" He asked, sounding like a schoolteacher who was unamused by his unruly students. Sam coughed.

"Yes." He said.

"Very well then, let's go." Said Crowley. He started to leave, but paused when he noticed his mother hadn't followed him.

"Mummy? Aren't you coming?"

Rowena forced a smile. "Of course, Dearie. Just give me a few minutes, okay?" She said, kindly.

Crowley visibly hesitated for a minute before going, Sam and Dean followed behind him, but Castiel stayed behind. He waited until the other three were completely out the door and then turned to Rowena.

"You're frightened." He said. It was a matter-of-fact statement.

Rowena couldn't look at him. She felt the hairs on the back stand up and a chill run down her spine. Facing her abuser after what he'd done to her was always the most terrifying part of their relationship, both now and back then. She would never forget the cycle of abuse that occurred every single time. First, there would be the phase of tension building, where small everyday events served to begin to anger Angus. She always felt that she was walking on eggshells and landmines. Any one little thing could set him off. Then, the incident would occur. The abuse would take place, and she would get battered and bruised. For a time after, he would leave her be. Then, he would seek her out and apologize, swearing to change and that it would never happen again. And in her naïvety, she had believed him.

"What do you care, feathers? You never liked me anyways. Aren't you going to tell me in all your self-righteous glory that I got what I deserved because of what I did to you and your friends? Aren't you going to tell me that Im an idiot for doing this, and that you already know how this is going to end?"

"No." He said, calmly. "You didn't get what you deserved. Because no one deserves to be abused like that."

She looked over at him. "What did you just say?"

"You didn't deserve that." He said. "For a long time I thought you were one of the worst people that Dean, Sam, and myself had ever faced. I thought you were a terrible mother, and that you were the reason why Crowley turned out the way he did. But the more that I heard about Angus, the more I suspected he had something to do with it, and then when I finally saw what he had done to you I finally understood why you were the way you were, and why Crowley was who he was. I had never considered that you might have a good reason for being who you are. I judged you too quickly. For that, I'm sorry. But you should not be afraid of facing Angus. Because this time you will not be doing this by yourself. And you will not have to worry about him hurting you ever again.

Rowena felt herself smiling for the first time in a long while.

"Thank you." She said, quietly. He nodded.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes. I am."

"Then let's go."

With that, the two of them headed out the door.


	22. Chapter 22

Rowena could feel her heart racing in her chest as she watched her son entering through the door. Far behind him, she realized that it felt so wrong. Her baby was entering a room with a maniac and she wasn't right there protecting him. It was awful. A part of her wanted to go and run ahead of him, but another part, the more dominant part, was too frightened to. Going in and seeing Angus again was utterly terrifying. She found herself praying for courage as she made her way toward the threshold. And despite the Winchesters, Castiel, and her son all being there, she felt exposed, like a naked infant left out to brave the elements. She had to stop when she was about to cross into the room. Panic was making it's way through her chest. But she couldn't leave her baby in there alone, so she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and went inside.

The first thing she thought upon entry was that the lighting in the room was very dim. There were torches lighting the room instead of electricity. She thought she could recall Fergus telling her during one of their meetings that it was about providing the right kind of atmosphere. She followed the string of torches to the back wall, where Angus hung. And this time the chains looked brand new and were set firmly in the wall. He looked beaten and bloodied, but still strong enough to break her if he so chose. She tried to swallow her panic, but only moved it down into her stomach. He grinned upon seeing her, and his face grew contrite.

"Come on, baby. You know I didn't mean it. You know how I get when I'm upset. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you. You know I do."

She'd heard the words so many times before. They were a script to a movie she'd seen far too many times. She turned her back from him. She could not let his empty promises worm their way into her heart. She would not become his victim again. Since she had begun her relationship with her son, and had grown to love him and had cared for him, she had begun to realize what love truly was. And this… this wasn't love. This was control. This was power. This was psychopathy.

Upon realizing this, she turned around, and was surprised to find that there were tears welling up in her eyes.

"No." She whispered. "This isn't love. It was never love. You've never loved anyone but yourself. You don't love me. You want to control me. I've seen and felt what real love is. And this… this isn't love."

"Rowena, I'm sorry." He said. "What do you want me to say? I was selfish. I was wrong. But it's not my fault that you provoked me."

Her ego, once such a fluid thing when it came to Angus, became a solid mass on this point. She would yield to him no more. The steel and anger in her rose up in a sudden burst of unadulterated fury.

"You think all this is my fault?" She asked loudly, startling the three men in the room with her sudden outburst. Crowley looked over at his mother and was shocked to see the rage on her face and in her voice. Even Angus looked surprised. Awe crossed his expression for a moment or two, but he quickly buried it in his superiority complex.

"It always has been. It always will be." He said, resolutely.

The anger rose, peaked until it surpassed anything she had ever felt. She let out a shriek of complete and utter rage that that made them all jump. She bayed at the ceiling, eyes unfocused as she made her hands into claws. The volcano of rage, capped for hundreds of years, spewed forth in a sudden burst. Suddenly she was beating him with her fists, clawing at him with her nails, and digging her fingers in him until he was bleeding.

"I HATE YOU! YOU DISGUSTING, UGLY, DRUNK SON OF A BITCH! YOU BEAT ME, YOU RAPED ME, YOU TORTURED ME, AND YOU MADE ME BELIEVE IT WAS ALWAYS MY FAULT! AND YOU THINK YOU CAN ERASE ALL OF THAT WITH A FEW PRETTY WORDS?! BECAUSE OF YOU I MISTREATED THE ONE PERSON WHO LOVED ME UNCONDITIONALLY. BECAUSE OF YOU I LOST THE CHANCE TO BE A MOTHER TO MY BOY! BECAUSE OF YOU I CAN'T TRUST ANYONE BECAUSE I'M TERRIFIED THEY'LL DO WHAT YOU DID! I SPENT ALMOST THREE HUNDRED YEARS ON THE RUN BECAUSE OF YOU, AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO TELL ME IT WAS MY FAULT?! YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH WHO WILL NEVER KNOW HOW TO LOVE ANYBODY BUT HIMSELF! YOU LIED, CHEATED, AND MANIPULATED ME TO GET YOUR WAY. WELL I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU, BUSTER. YOU WILL NEVER GET ME UNDER YOUR SPELL AGAIN! AND IF YOU DARE COME ANYWHERE NEAR ME OR MY SON AGAIN I'LL SLIT YOUR FUCKING THROAT!"

She was out of breath by the end of the rant, but felt a powerful sense of relief grip her after the words kept inside her for hundreds of years were released at last. Behind her, the four men were rendered speechless and motionless by her words. Dean looked vaguely pleased at her words, despite the level of animosity that existed between them. Sam was startled, but glad in a way that she had taken this opportunity to heal. And Castiel was staring at her with an expression of happiness. He had felt the fear rolling off of her when she had entered the room. To see her stand up for herself was heartening.

And Crowley. Crowley couldn't help the smile growing on his face. Against the odds, his mummy had faced her abuser, expressed her anger, and took a stand. Although his mother was overwhelmed at the moment, there was one thing he was absolutely sure of: He had never been more proud to be her son.


	23. Chapter 23

It took Rowena a minute or two to calm down and compose herself. She couldn't believe what she had just done, but at the same time she wondered why she hadn't done it sooner. She felt her fear abating more and more as she looked at the bleeding form of her abuser and felt her natural confidence wash over her like a tidal wave of pure power. She turned to her son, who was still eyeing her proudly, and smiled at him. He returned the smile and nodded, silently encouraging her to keep going. She turned back to Angus with a flourish. She didn't miss the oh-so-subtle flinch that went through his body as she did so. She laughed at the sight, her voice tinkling like a bell.

"Who's afraid now?" She teased, getting up in his face. He tried to bite her, but she backed away easily. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Or what?" He asked, Angered.

"Or you'll be dealing with me." Said a new voice. Angus turned to see Crowley stepping beside Rowena. Angus took a moment to assess the new threat in the room. He didn't look strong or intimidating. But then again, neither did the Winchesters. Still, he was but one man, and Angus felt he had the advantage. So he spoke up:

"And who exactly are you?"

The smile that crossed his face told Angus that he had something to dread. Crowley stepped forward.

"I'm the king of hell. And your son."

Crowley looped his arm around his mother and felt pleasure ripple through him as he watched Angus' eyes bug out of his skull. He looked like he was trying to speak but nothing was coming out. It made him want to giggle.

"Was he always this quiet, Mummy?" He asked, enjoying the shade of red his father's face was turning.

"Oh no, Fergus. He usually can't shut up to save his life. I expect he's only quiet now because of the shock." She said mockingly.

"Really?" Crowley asked, feigning surprise,

"Unfortunately yes. So don't take it too personally, dearie." She said, patting his arm in a comforting way. The two of them shared a smile before Crowley continued.

"So what shall we do with him, Mummy?"

"What a good question, Fergus." She praised. She went in closer to him, circling him like a hawk. "What shall I do with you, Angus?" Her voice was sweet. Sickly sweet, like she was talking to a baby and not a grown man. Hearing the tone of voice triggered something inside of Fergus, and he had to fight off the urge to suck his thumb. Rowena didn't notice. "I could let you die a spectacular death…" she began. She paused before continuing. "But that would be too easy." She hummed to herself as she tried to think of a fitting punishment. After a long moment, she looked over at her son, who looked distracted.

"Fergus?" She asked. That jolted him back to reality.

"Yes, mummy?"

"What do you think I should do with him?"

Crowley grinned as a dozen possible methods of torture flashed through his head. When he had an idea, he spoke up.

"What if we took turns? That way we could try a little bit of everything to see what works."

Rowena smiled proudly at her boy. "I think that's a great idea."

He stepped back in a welcoming gesture. "Ladies first."

Rowena grinned and kissed her son on the cheek. "That's my boy."

She turned to Angus, grinning. He'd never seen such a grin. It was like death's hand.

"Let's begin."

She rolled up her sleeves and began the torment.

She gathered bones of chickens that she had dried in the sun for a few days. Then when she was ready to do the hex she made sure she was worked up into a frenzy of anger and hatred. This helped to add to the potency of the hex. She was thinking of all this while doing this hex and when it said With these bones I now do crush, take a hammer or use your feet to stomp and crush these bones as if they were Angus before her. When she was done she swept, them up and place them in a bag. She then sprinkled the dust and remains of the bones on Angus' chains. She took out a bell, rang it 3 times and said:

"I call upon the Ancient Ones from the great abyss to do my bidding. I invoke Cuthalu, God of Anger and the creatures of the underworld hear me now... Bones of anger, bones to dust full of fury, revenge is just I scatter these bones, these bones of rage take thine enemy, bring him pain. I see thine enemy before me now, I bind him, crush him, bring him down, With these bones I now do crush Make thine enemy turn to dust torment, fire, out of control. With this hex I curse your soul So mote it be!"

She watched in pleasure as Angus screamed and writhed in pain. Then, she let her son take over with more traditional tactics. Knives, Electrocutions, and general torment, before she took the reins for one last time. She had thought long an hard on what his final punishment should be, and she had finally decided. She stepped forward and composed herself before she began the spell.

"torquent, et ossa retro flectere

Itch-it-a-cop-it-a,

Mel-a-ka-mys-tic-a.

circumcidet eum infantem adipem.

Itch-it-a-cop-it-a,

Mel-a-ka-mys-tic-a.

Da ei, fur,

nigri inquantum est nigrum,

Sicut ...

Sicut ...

Hic. "

Rowena watched in delight as Angus transformed into a cat with fur as black as the night. He would live forever unless she decided otherwise. Perhaps she'd let him at Olivette. The idea made her smile as she kicked him away. He hissed at her furiously and theGrinning wickedly, she turned to her son, filled with maternal pride.

"I'm proud of you, Fergus." She said. He smiled.

"I'm proud of you too, mummy."

The two of them smiled, and then left the room.


	24. Chapter 24

Dean, Castiel, and Sam were waiting outside the room, having left while the torment was taking place. Rowena smiled at them, lingering for a moment on Castiel's face.

"I appreciate all you boys have done for me, but I think it's about time you head on home. Angus can do no harm to Fergus or myself anymore. Thank you for your assistance, but I'd like some time alone with my son."

The three of them nodded and proceeded to murmur a few goodbyes before heading out of hell and going back to the bunker.

When they were completely gone, Rowena turned to her son, concerned. "Fergus, what happened earlier?" She asked.

Crowley furrowed his brow. "What do you mean, Mummy?"

"Something distracted you while I was talking to your father. What was it?"

"It was… strange."

"What was it?"

"When you were talking to him in that high voice it was like I couldn't stop the urge to do childish things."

"Why didn't you just say so? I may be old but I'm not senile yet."

"Would you want to say something like that with Moose, Squirrel, and Feathers around?"

"…Fair point." She sighed. "Come along, Fergus. Let's see what the damage is today."

She led him back to the nursery, which had been placed under an enchantment by her to make sure no one but herself or Fergus could come in or out. She shut the door once he was safely inside. When she turned around, she was surprised.

As soon as he entered the nursery, the urge that had faded earlier came back with ten times the strength as it had before. Before he could stop himself or even wonder what in the world was happening to him his thumb was in his mouth. A voice inside of his head, the one that had told him to suck his thumb earlier, started talking to him again. The first time it had been subtle, but now it was blaring like a radio turned up to the highest volume. Before he could obey it or not he found himself being turned to completely face his mother.

Rowena wasn't off put by what she had seen. In fact, she had anticipated that something like this would come along. She had just imagined it happening sooner than later. She could see in her son's eyes that he was embarrassed and wanted to stop, but she hushed him quietly.

"it's alright, Fergus. Don't worry. Mummy will fix everything. Just sit down and be a good boy for me, okay?"

Crowley's mind felt far away and fuzzy again, but he heard his Mummy's instructions. She needed him to be a good boy, so he would try and be good for her for as long as he could. It was getting hard to stand up though, so he sat down on the floor instead.

Smiling at her son, she pulled a small velvet bag and poured some of the content in her hands. It was a mix of sand, ashes, crushed crystal bits, some bones, and ground up stones. She leaned over her boy and gently blew the mixture around him.

At first nothing happened, but then the aura around him began to turn blue.

Rowena sucked in a breath.

"Oh my… Oh my wee boy… Oh, why is this happening to you?" She whispered.

The powder was used to reveal the severity of her son's condition. A green aura meant that his condition would not deteriorate further. Yellow meant an occasional flare up, but nothing too severe. Red meant that several slip ups would occur, possibly ending in permanent damage.

But blue, blue meant that the flare ups would come in cycles, closer and closer until he would be unable to tell them apart. The spell might have well not been reversed at all for all the good it did, and she had to find a way to keep the spell at bay.

Crowley looked up at his mother. He couldn't understand what she was saying, but it sounded funny, so he giggled. But his joy was quickly gone as he saw the devastation cross his mother's face and voice. He felt his eyes welling up with uncontrollable tears. When one finally made it's way down his face and he sniffled, his mother looked down at him and her heart broke. She watched him shrink down to an infant's size and scooped him up into her arms, bouncing him gently.

"Oh Fergus, It's okay. Mummy's right here, sweetheart. It's alright. Everything's fine, baby." She soothed as she took him over to the changing table and got him dressed in a diaper and a onesie. She took him back into her arms and sat in a rocking chair in the corner, rocking and humming to her little one. She remembered wishing just before her sacrifice how much she wanted to have time with Fergus at this age. Now she was getting her wish, but at a terrible price. But there was no time to wallow in her guilt. That would come later once her baby was back to normal. For now it Was time to enjoy what she had. She leaned down and nuzzled his velvety soft skin, kissing his forehead and smiling when he giggled. His little hand reached up and patted her cheek and she pressed it to her, feeling the warmth of herself and her baby in their own little world. No matter what else happened to her in this life, she knew she would always remember this moment as her own small taste of heaven. When her son's mouth opened in a tiny "o" shape as he yawned, Rowena watched in fascination as he moved, marveling at every tiny kick and flutter. His thumb found it's way into his mouth and he started to fall asleep to the sound of his mother's gentle humming. Rowena could have placed him in his crib, but she chose to hold him instead and gain a moment of peace with him that she could stow away in her heart and mind for a rainy day. She smiled as her child drifted off into sleep, and vowed silently to him and to herself that she would save him yet.


	25. Chapter 25

As Rowena rocked back and forth, she tried to enjoy her time with her baby, but something kept nagging at her thoughts, a voice whispering unease into her mind. Angus had been taken care of now, and rightfully punished for his actions. That part was over and done with, and was in and of itself a huge weight off of her shoulders. But there was another part of him that was still lingering behind- his alliance with Lucifer.

Now that she had time to think it over, she couldn't really make sense of the idea. Why would Lucifer team up with a mortal? Did he hate her for sending him back to the cage? Certainly. But enough to ally himself with what he deemed his father's biggest mistake? It didn't make any sense. Their alliance had happened, but she couldn't figure out what Lucifer could have gained from it. Angus had no money, no worth, no soul to speak of. Why him? His ties with her could have made him a little desirable, but not enough for this.

Rowena felt a headache coming on as the stress began to seep in. Maybe she was thinking about this too much. The winchesters would make sure Lucifer got whatever he deserved. She had a much bigger problem to face. She had to figure out a way to stop the after effects of the spell on her boy. The severity of it was already extreme, and she wasn't sure how much more Fergus could take. She would have found a cure in a second if it was within her power, but Angus showing up had distracted her, and having a baby to care for took up what remained of her time. When he turned back she would begin a frantic search for a cure. She told herself that there had to be something that she could do to help and fix it. But there were seeds of doubt planted inside of her, and the fear that grew out of them had turned into fine winding tendrils that strangled her heart.

A part of her, one that she could not admit to having, told her that there might not be a cure for her son out there. There was a cure for the spell itself, but after effects were another story. There was no cure-all spell for that, though she desperately wished there to be. The residual effects from each specific spell had to be undone, and even then she wasn't certain about what she could do with it. She could try and extend the cycles of his normalcy. That in itself might not be too bad because she wasn't trying to reverse the old spell- she was just casting a new one. But the rest would be complete guesswork. And even then there was no guarantee that other residual effects from the spell would abate entirely. But she knew Fergus wouldn't blame her for this. He would tell her that he knew she had done the best she could and that it wasn't her fault that this happened to him, but she knew the truth.

If it weren't for her past, this spell would have never been cast in the first place. His words would only be for her benefit. He would try and exonerate her of her guilt. But what he wouldn't understand- no- what he couldn't understand was the depth of her guilt, not just over this but in general.

When she had first entertained the idea of having a relationship with her son, she had been ambivalent at best toward him. She didn't have any feelings about to speak of per se besides occasional irritation. But as they began to meet more and trust one another, she began to experience other feelings. Ones she knew that she could identify, but refused to name aloud for the sake of appearances. The more she felt a mother's love, the more she began to acknowledge it's counterpart- a mother's guilt.

As a witch there was no low hum of guilt when she did something terrible to a person. She just watched them burn and move on. Now that she realized that her actions had hurt someone that she actually cared about, it influenced her to react differently. Instead of being completely absent from her, guilt became a constant presence, looming over her and overshadowing her at every turn. There was guilt about leaving Fergus when he was a child, about missing the most pivotal years in his life, about being able to love Oskar and not the child who shared her DNA, about not meeting her grandson, and about not being smart enough to love him when she had the chance. That one trumped them all.

Just when she thought her guilt about one subject was gone she found that another new insight came to light, like a never ending stream of worries. She could stop the voices that murmured their constant regret when she was with her son and caring for him, but when she was alone at night deep in thought the emotion threatened to swallow her whole.

Realizing that at some point during her musings she had suddenly started rocking far too quickly and jerkily, she eased her pace back to a normal one as she watched her little one dream. She realized that this moment was one that was pure. There was no guilt or shame or anxiety tied to watching her son sleep. He was good and sweet and innocent. In her storm of emotions she had forgotten this simple fact and taken it for granted. She had been living in the world of her fears and not in the world of the present like she should have been. She resolved to try and change that and work on it with herself. For now though, she would simply enjoy herself.

The tender moment ended when about two hours later, Fergus' blue eyes snapped open and he let out a cry.


	26. Chapter 26

For the second time in at least as many days Rowena found herself inside the Winchester's bunker. There weren't enough words in the dictionary to explain how much she utterly loathed the place, but today she would have to swallow her words and suck it up, otherwise they might not let her browse through the few confiscated spell books they had. Despite their rarity, the few she found were from witch covens all over the world. England, Australia, Scotland, and America. One or two were in foreign languages. Sam was currently running all of the spells listed through a translator for her.

It wasn't difficult to gain their cooperation this time. She swore that if they helped her cure her son she would assist them in taking Lucifer down when the time came. Desperate to save her child, she had agreed, making the choice that could be her moment of glory or of shame. Now, flipping through another book and finding nothing, she slammed her palm on the page in frustration. She inhaled deeply and counted to three, trying to calm herself down. It would do her no good to get upset now. Besides, if she got upset it would only make Fergus upset.

She ruefully recalled his waking in the nursery earlier. She had no idea what caused it, but her son had burst into tears without warning and had been almost inconsolable. She tried everything she could think of to fix the problem- feedings, a changing, baths, and lullabies, but nothing seemed to work. That was when she remembered that he had used to get colic all the time when he was an actual infant. Thankfully in the three hundred years since that period another witch had invented a spell to remove that from him. One little incantation later and he was happy and smiling again. It was more than she could say for herself.

She loathed being here with the Winchesters and their Angel attack dog. She had little patience for their do-the-right-thing-the-right-way attitude, especially when it came to her son. She was ashamed that she'd brought him here in his current state (she was almost positive they might use this ailment to blackmail him into helping them with something later) but she hadn't had any other option. She had to come here to find the books and it wasn't like she could leave him alone in the nursery in his current condition. She knew she would never forgive herself if something happened to him while she was careless enough to leave him on his own.

Deciding to take a small break, she turned around to where Fergus was sitting in a playpen nearby. She had put a few soft toys in there for him to play with while she worked. It had been about half an hour since she put him in and somehow she hadn't been disturbed yet. A part of her told her that she shouldn't stop if he was still calm, but she couldn't help herself. She picked him up under the armpits and settled him on her hip.

"How's my wee boy today?" She crooned. He giggled and it made her grin. "How about you and I have a bit of fun, hmmm?" She said, bouncing him gently. She looked over at the book she'd been thumbing through and pointed to it with her index finger. "Et volant sursum."

The book, placed spine up on the table in front of her, lifted up in the air a few inches before it began flapping it's covers in an attempt to fly. It zoomed overhead just out of Fergus' reach. He stared at it in awe and reached up to it, laughing loudly. The sound was so delicious it made Rowena join in and enchant a few more books just to see the wonder on his face. She couldn't help the grin that crossed her face as she listened to his squeals of delight. She beamed at her son, happy that he was having so much fun. When he wiggled and squirmed happily in her grip it made her smile widen. This was by far the most rewarding feeling she had ever experienced.

She wondered how she could have missed this the first time around. How had she not felt his joy? How could she have not felt this sense of purpose? She tried thinking back to that time in her life, but it was like trying to see through murky water. That time in her life had long since passed. Trying to remember that way of thinking was like trying to drive a car by pedaling a bike. It made absolutely no sense to her now. The clarity and enlightenment that she had felt since repairing her relationship with her son had made that way of thinking obsolete. She knew that she would never go back to the way things were before.

Dean walked through the threshold of the library and ducked, narrowly dodging being hit by a flying book.

"What the hell is going on in here?!" He asked.

"Oh put a cork in it, feòrag." She said. "Let my boy enjoy himself."

"feòrag?" He asked, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"Scottish for 'squirrel'."

"Taking a page from Crowley's book, huh?"

"Clever word play."

Dean nodded, then turned to Sam. "Where are we with this?"

"Nowhere, that's where. I can't find anything about how to get rid of this."

"There's got to be something we can do! He can't stay like this forever!" She said, stressed. Sensing her rising anxiety, Fergus patted her cheek with his tiny hand. She smiled at him as Sam turned the page of the book.

"Wait," Said Sam. Rowena looked up at the change in his tone, as did Dean. "I think I might have found something."

"Well go on, let's have it then." She said, holding her son close.

"It removes the spell itself from the person effected." He said. Something in his voice told her there was a qualification coming.

"But?" She asked. He looked up at her.

"If we make even the slightest mistake it could make the effects worse. He would regress further and further until he didn't exist anymore."

Rowena instinctively held her son tighter. She felt his hand on her cheek and looked down at him. His blue eyes bored into her, trying to seemingly reassure her that everything would be alright. With that look, she made her decision. She looked up at Sam determinedly.

"Let's do it."


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry that this is not, unfortunately, a new chapter. This was posted earlier today but I found out that chapter 24 was actually missing and that I posted 25 instead. So if you read chapter 24 BEFORE 2/26/17, please go check it out now that it is correct. Sorry for the mix up guys!**

Rowena felt her muscles tense as she reviewed the spell in the book, holding Fergus in her lap. The ingredients were easy enough to get, which she took to be a good sign, but the possible outcomes kept replaying in her head. Her son would either walk away cured or fade away into nonexistence. There were too many endings. It was a fine line she would walk, but she was confident in her abilities. What she wasn't confident about were how much she could trust the people around her, and how Fergus would react when he heard what might happen to him should she fail. The very idea put a lump in her throat, but she swallowed it and smiled at the baby in her lap.

Dean stood by her chair and tapped his foot impatiently. "Well?"

She shot him an irritated glare. "The ingredients are simple enough. Nothing I can't get in a pinch. But i'm worried about the end result. There's too many endings."

"There are only two endings."

"Aye. And that's one ending too many."

"What else can we do?" Dean asked. "There isn't another way, is there?"

"You can't do anything. You and your brother and your pet over there cannot help with this. I have to be the one to do this, and I have to do it alone." She said.

"Why?"

Rowena looked him in the eye. "Because I don't trust you not to make a mistake on this one. You two are always saving each other so much that you tend to ignore the rules and do whatever you want instead. I cannot have that kind of carelessness be a part of this ritual. You may like my son, and you may even be friends with him, but you don't love him. Not enough to sacrifice yourselves if it came down to it. He needs me for this to work. Not you."

Her response was blunt and direct, surprising the two men and one angel in the room. However, her words weren't untrue, so there was no way to defend themselves against them. They watched as she stroked her son's head affectionately as she read more about the spell. Until that moment it hadn't really hit any of them that Rowena was actually on their side for this, and doing the right thing. They'd spent so long worrying about what nefarious activity she might get into that they hadn't really considered the idea that she could switch sides without a self-serving motivation. They had seen her sacrifice her life for her son to undo the spell the first time, but the true impact of the action had been lost on them until now. Remembering that powerful moment and coupling it with this one really brought it home that Rowena was trying to change, and was succeeding.

Sam scrambled to find a response to fit the enormity of the realization, but he was left bereft. Dean, however, had a reply at the ready.

"Nice to see your trust issues haven't gone away. It's nice to know some things never change."

"Well when someone chains you up in their moldy basement against your will, you tend to have trouble believing them about anything." She fired back. That shut Dean up quickly.

In his mother's lap, Fergus giggled. Rowena smiled at him before going back to reading about the spell.

"It says that we need to do this under the full moon. When is the next one?"

Sam pulled out his phone to check. "It's in three days."

"Good. That'll give me time to gather the supplies."

Dean eyed her skeptically. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

His question was an echo of the one running rampant through her mind. But the fact that he had the nerve to ask it pissed her off. She shot him the nastiest glare in her arsenal. When she did speak, she spoke very deliberately.

"Dean, let me ask you a question: Do you love your brother?"

"We have a rule around here: no chick flick moments."

"Do you love your brother?" She asked again, disregarding his warning. She needed to make a point.

"That's not even a question."

"Would you die for him?"

"I have died for him. And he's done the same for me."

"Would you do anything for him if he asked you to?"

"Yes. What's your point?"

She looked at the brothers very seriously. "You two are brothers and you would do all of that for each other in a heartbeat. Well Imagine what it's like to be a mother. You carry this child inside of you for nine months. You feel them moving, growing, and living, and then suddenly they're born and it's like you didn't even know what love was until you hold them for the first time." She picked up Fergus for emphasis. "You are the only thing that stands between that child and death. You feed them, bathe them, watch them grow up, and you love them more than anything in the world. You would kill for them, but more than anything you know you would die to save them in a heartbeat. It isn't even a question. I will do whatever it takes to save my son. Even if I have to do it alone. I wasn't there for Fergus the first time around. I swore to myself that someday I was going to prove to him that I have changed. This is the best way to keep my promise."

Dean was stunned into silence, as was Sam. But Castiel, who had been watching quietly from the corner, stepped forward and finally spoke.

"I believe you."

Rowena looked over to him in surprise, but the ghost of a smile hinted at her face.

"Thanks for the support, feathers."

He nodded, a fast, jerky bob.

"Any other questions?" She asked, looking between the two of them. "No? Well then, let's get going. We only have three days to get this right."

With a flash of light, Rowena disappeared, leaving a stunned Sam and Dean in her wake.


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Note: Hey guys! So In case you didn't see the notice in the last chapter, I found out that chapter 24 was actually missing and that I posted 25 instead. So if you read chapter 24 BEFORE 2/26/17, please go check it out now that it is correct. Sorry for the mix up guys! Enjoy this chapter!**

Rowena MacLeod made her way into hell, carrying Fergus back into the nursery and laying him down for a nap. This had been the longest he had been gone to date, but she wasn't as worried about it as she could have been. Now that she knew he had a way out, she knew he'd be fine. She brought a baby monitor with her and left the other one attached to the crib, that way she'd know if he woke up. She had never left him alone while he was a baby for an extended period of time before. Sure, maybe to get some food or clean up in the bathroom, but nothing that didn't involve being more than two hundred feet away maximum and nothing that took more than twenty minutes at a stretch. She hoped that she wouldn't have to be gone too long, but she wanted to get the ingredients for the spell before Fergus either woke up or came back. And even then she wasn't sure what she would tell him once he was back to normal. She hoped that she had earned his trust enough that he would trust her to do the spell correctly.

She closed the nursery door before walking quickly down the hall before she went to a nearby shop that specialized In Wiccan supplies. She picked up the necessary taper candle, A large glass bowl that had a specialized coating to keep it pristine no matter what came into it, some holy water (She could have used regular water, but thought it might be better to make sure the demons couldn't get their paws on it), and salt. She paid for her items quickly before racing back to hell. She couldn't bear to be apart from her son for too long a time. When she finally reached the nursery and went inside, she was pleased to find him still asleep. She knew that time worked differently down here and was thankful that he hadn't woken up yet.

As if sensing his mother's return, Crowley awoke, cooing quietly. Rowena smiled and gathered him up in her arms.

"Hello sleepy boy. Did you miss me?" She crooned. He ignored her, busying himself with the necklace she was wearing. She fixed him a bottle and sat in the rocking chair to feed him. He looked up at her as he nursed at the nipple in his mouth, one hand still playing with her necklace. She sang to him quietly, and enjoyed the bonding moment between them. When things were still and quiet, she felt a deeper connection with her son. When the bottle was empty she got up to put it away, but was suddenly blinded by a flash of light as her son turned back at last.

She turned around and set the bottle down before smiling at her son.

"Welcome back, Fergus." She said, chuckling to herself as he rolled his eyes at her.

"I'm Crowley, Mummy. Do you really think the other demons are going to respect a king named Fergus?"

"If you put the fear of God in them, then yes." She said, and snorted at her own joke. He half smiled at her.

"What have I missed?" He asked.

Rowena felt dread settle into the pit of her stomach. She had thought of a million ways on how to break the news to her son, but her fear of his reaction had convinced her that every single method was wrong. There was no easy way to do this, no way to sugar coat the words she was about to speak. Her fear for her son, as well as her fear of his reaction rendered her silent for a few seconds, and told Crowley that something had definitely happened while he had been gone.

"What is it?"

Rowena tried to choose her words carefully as she tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat, but only got rid of part of it.

"We found a spell to remove the effects of the spell."

"We?" He echoed.

"The Winchesters found it. But I'll be performing it."

She didn't sound triumphant or victorious as she normally would when something like this had occurred. Something wasn't right here. She was holding back something from him. And judging from her expression, it was utterly awful.

"Then what's stopping you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Something else is making you hesitate. What is it?" He asked. She smiled at him for a half second before looking down at the floor.

"If I make one mistake on the spell, it could completely erase you from existence."

Crowley sat down in the rocking chair and ran a hand down his face. "Bloody hell." He said with a sigh. Rowena stepped toward him

"I already lost you once, Fergus. I cannot handle losing you again and knowing that it was all my fault.

He looked up at her in surprise for just a second before standing up. "But it wouldn't be your fault."

She looked at her son, confused. "What?"

"Mummy, you're the only person who knows me that's ever really cared about me, much less tried to save my life for selfless reasons. If I don't make it, it's not because of you. You will have tried. That's more than anyone has ever done for me. And I know that you're going to save me. You're the most powerful witch there is. How can you not?"

Rowena smiled. It was the highest praise he had ever given her. She kissed his cheek.

"Come on. I'll show you what I've learned."

Smiling a little, Crowley followed his mother out of the nursery and went back to her home, where she showed him what supplies she'd gathered and the way she would perform the spell when it finally came time to put his faith in her to the test. Rowena couldn't help smiling. Now that he'd voiced his confidence in her abilities, she grinned. Maybe everything would work out alright after all.


	29. Chapter 29

The two days leading up to the full moon seemed to Pass by in a blur. When Rowena wasn't trying to prepare for the spell, she spent as much time with her son as possible. Especially during his periods of infancy, knowing that she would never get the chance to care for him in that way once the spell was done ever again. She savored those moments like nothing else. The Winchesters checked in periodically, but for the most part they were left be. When they day finally came, anxiety hung thickly in the air. Rowena felt nerves jumping on her at every turn. She tried to remind herself that her son believed in her and would love her no matter what happened, but knowing that his life was in her hands was a terrifying prospect. She spent hours that day trying to make everything perfect for the spell. She picked a spot in the outdoors, in a grassy field where no one would dare go in the dead of night. She knew she had to do the spell herself, but the WInchester's and Castiel had insisted on coming. They said it was for moral support, but she didn't believe that for a minute. They were here to watch her crash and burn. They all gathered in the field, holding candles to light the way. Only when the moon got in the midnight alignment did she finally begin.

Taking a deep cleansing breath, she began to cast the circle, feeling her fears taking hold of her as she started the process of casting the spell. But she would not let fear stop her from saving her child. She had her son stand in the middle of the circle, and put the white taper candle into the glass bowl and filled it with water so that it was almost covering the candle. She had the water level about a half inch to an inch below the candle's tip. She sprinkled the salt into the water around the candle and said:

"With salt, this water is made pure, I give it the power to heal and cure."

She imagined the water and salt glowing with a bright light. Visualizing sparks as the salt hit the water. She lit the candle and said:

"A spell was cast with baneful will, A wicked web was wrongly spun, I take away the harm and ill, I now undo what has been done."

As the candle burned, she imagined that the water was emitting positive energies that would help to reverse the spell. She let those energies build up in her circle. When the candle burned to the level of the water and sputtered out, she took it out of the water and held it horizontally with both hands. Then, she spoke again:

"This harmful spell I now negate, return things to their rightful state!"

At the last word, she broke the candle in half. As if the snapping sound were a thunderclap, she visualized the energy in her circle being released in a burst of bright energy like lightning, destroying the effects of the spell she was reversing. She snapped the candle into even smaller pieces, breaking it further, making it useless and inconsequential. She buried the candle pieces as well as any wax that dripped into the water. Pour the water in a circle around where the candle is buried. Then, she went over to her son with a branch of sage dipped with holy water and sweetgrass.

"With the herbs inside this bowl I purify your mind and soul. Let the spell that was cast here leave this body and disappear. Let the stars that fill the night cast out the darkness with rays of light. Let the spirits heed my cry and let the evil in this circle die. Save the one I purify tonight so sayeth I!"

She splashed him in a cruciform pattern, Then grabbed a small clay bowl and set the branch inside. She took a candle from Castiel and used it to light the branch on fire and watched it burn. When the air smelled of sage and the flames died down, she watched as the smoke took on a life of it's own, twisting itself around her son's body, purifying him of the remnants of the spell. When the smoke turned blue, she grinned. It was working. The blue smoke lit up as brightly as the stars, and encased him in a brilliant light. When the light died and the smoke finally cleared she began the ritual of closing the circle.

She drew a banishing pentagram in the air while standing in the center of the circle.

"Guardians of the East, South, West and North. Powers of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water I thank you for joining in my circle and I ask your blessings are you depart. May peace be between us now and forever. Blessed Be!"

Once the rite was ending, she faced North, held the wand up and said:

"Farewell, Spirit of the North. I give thanks for your presence here. Go in power and love."

"Farewell, Spirit of the East. I give thanks for your presence here. Go in power and love."

"Farewell, Spirit of the South. I give thanks for your presence here. Go in power and love."

"Farewell, Spirit of the West. I give thanks for your presence here. Go in power and love."

When she was finally done, she took her athame and went to the North end of the circle she had cast. She pierced the energy field of the circle and brought the power into the athame. She made one last circle around each point to close it properly. When she finally returned to the Northern most point, the circle was no more, and the energies trapped inside of it were completely released.

When all was finished, she felt like she could breathe again. She had done it. She had saved her son. The curse was finally over.


	30. Chapter 30

When the circle was broken Crowley breathed a sigh of relief.

The feelings of uncertainty, the fear of not knowing when he might change, the lapses of memory. All of it was finally over, and it was thanks to his mother. He would have to find a way to thank her for this, but for now he decided to keep a level head. He gave her a wan smile to indicate his happiness to her, and then turned to their guests.

"Well, pleasurable though this visit has been, I think we could all use a good night's sleep. Don't you?"

Taking the hint, The Winchester's departed, taking Castiel with them. They promised to reconvene sometime soon to figure out what to do about Lucifer. For now though, they would resign themselves to peaceful sleep. When the trio vanished, mother and son looked at one another happily.

"Well done, Mummy." Crowley said, smoothly. Rowena grinned at him.

"Thank you, Fergus." She said. He opened his mouth to correct her, and almost did, but refrained at the last minute. He'd let her have her moment for once. He took her by the hand and back down into hell.

The throne room looked just as it had when they'd left. Chains still rattled against brick walls, and moans from the tormented residents of hell could still be heard echoing through the halls. And yet, to Crowley, strangely, it looked completely different. There was an illusion of a fresh start that seemed to transform the room. He wasn't sure why he felt that way, but it seemed to tingle in the air like electricity.

"How does it feel?" Rowena asked, startling him from his thoughts.

"What?"

"To be back where you belong?"

The words felt strange to him. Was this really where he belonged? It felt odd to be here at all. After everything that had happened, he felt he belonged somewhere else. Where, he wasn't sure. There was something empty about the place now.

"I'm not sure." The words felt pulled out of him somehow. Rowena turned to look at him.

"Is something wrong, Fergus?"

"No…" But he didn't sound sure. She decided to let it go for now. She put a hand on his back.

"I'm glad you're back." She said.

"Me too."

Rowena was about to say something when she remembered something that she needed to take care of, and it weighed down her soul. Her face dimmed noticeably. When his mother didn't reply to her, he looked and saw the look on her face. He frowned.

"Mummy?"

This time Rowena looked startled. But she quickly replaced her look with a smiling mask.

"Yes dearie?"

"Is something wrong?"

"I'm fine. I just have to do something. I'll be back in a little while." She said. Not trusting her about it, he followed her at a safe distance.

Rowena made her way down the hallway, saddened by what she realized had to happen. She used her magic to open the door to the nursery and stepped inside with a sigh. She would have to let this room go. She ran her hand down the wood of the doorframe, and looked at the room. She had put so much into this room when she created it. All her hopes and dreams for her child were laid out in this room. She had chosen every item with care, had painted the walls by her own hand. This place had been her sanctuary of motherhood. Within these walls she had learned what it truly meant to be a mother and to love her child. Now her heart ached for what had been. She had known that giving her son his life back had been the right thing to do, and she had no qualms with doing it. But now, standing in the empty nursery, she realized painfully, truthfully, that she would never get the chance to bring her baby back in here, and the thought sliced through her like a knife.

Crowley, who had watched his mother go inside the room had mixed emotions about what he saw. The times when he had been a baby were a hazy memory that he couldn't place. He had no memory of what had occurred during that time, but he could remember one thing: The feeling of being happy and safe. Those two emotions were so rare for him. It seemed someone was always threatening him, and something always managed to keep his spirits down. His memories of this room weren't perfectly clear, but he knew that in this room, he had been closer to his mother than ever before, and that he had known what it was like to experience real love- something he had been sorely missing throughout his life.

He realized that he didn't want this room to disappear. And he certainly knew that his mother didn't either. He wanted those feelings of safety, of love, and of happiness to stay. He saw that perhaps the only way he would get it would be if the room stayed. But how could he explain to his mother what he wanted, and what exactly this meant to him? Maybe this room was the reason why he felt that in the throne room of hell he just didn't belong. Out there he was just a political figure. In here he was treated like a human being.

Crowley stepped forward.

"Mummy?"

Rowena jumped about a foot in the air and put a hand over her heart as she gasped. "Fergus! What have I told you about scaring me like that?!"

"Sorry." He murmured, before getting back to the subject at hand. "You know, Mummy, there's no reason we have to get rid of this room." He said. Surprise flickered across her features, and then a smile graced her face.

"Really?"

He nodded. "It's our place." He said with an air of calm finality.

Rowena grinned put an arm around her son's shoulders. "That it is, Fergus. That it is."


	31. Chapter 31

With the hurdle of Crowley's sudden transfigurations overcome, there was only one obstacle left to face- if it was even a hurdle in the first place.

Lucifer.

Both the Winchester and MacLeod families had mused upon what the fallen angel was planning, but neither could come up with a good explanation. Angus was the connection that mattered, but there was no good way to explain why he decided to team up with him, aside from his connection with Crowley. They tried to think logically. If Lucifer wanted Crowley taken out, he had to be planning another escape from the cage… right?

Dean and Sam were convinced that this was the case. Castiel seemed to think so too, and asked a few of his brothers and sisters to keep an eye on him, but so far there was no suspicious activity going on down in hell. No escape attempts, no uprisings, no nothing. Still, the Winchester boys refused to believe that there was no bigger subplot underlying Angus MacAdams' partnership with the devil himself.

Crowley, however, took the opposite view.

He firmly believed that Angus was to blame for what had happened to him and his family. Lucifer was just a clever ploy, a smokescreen to cover the inner workings of one mad man's psychotic brain. From the stories his mother had been telling him over the time they'd been together after first mentioning him, it was not beyond his capabilities. And as for Lucifer, Crowley didn't bother to worry about him. He would come or go when he chose to. The main difference between himself and the Winchester boys was that they tried to prevent things before they happened. He certainly understood that point of view, but he didn't see what good it did to take preventative measures before anything happened. He took it in stride, adopting a wait-and-see attitude. His mother seemed to feel the same, and he didn't ask her her opinions on the subject. She already told him her thoughts in blatant detail after his father was transformed.

For now, Crowley remained in hell, but resumed his schedule of visits with his mother. She had reluctantly returned to her home after he was completely stable for a week straight. He made sure to run things as they were right before he'd run into Annabel and Fiona. Slowly, hell returned to it's semi-normal state of operations.

Meanwhile, Rowena had returned to her apartment. It had felt like an eternity since she had last been there. Everything seemed so different now. It was like living in a parallel universe. Everything looked the same, but it just… wasn't.

There was an emptiness inside Rowena now, one that she didn't think she could explain to anyone. She would try and fill her time with reading books or going on dates, but the hollowness remained, carefully hidden under her smiling mask. She tried to fill the hole inside of her with jewelry, sex, magic, or money, but nothing stuck. It made her wonder if she even knew who she was anymore.

When the hollowness became too much, she found herself going to the nursery. She would sit in the rocking chair, moving back and forth as memories with her son replayed on a loop in her mind. She had been so fulfilled when she had taken care of him. She realized after that first visit that the feelings she was enduring were something akin to empty nest syndrome. It was something commonly seen in housewives whose children had gone back to college. There was an empty void left by their child. This was how Rowena felt every day since he had been cured.

Fergus' visits were the only thing that filled her with joy. Being with him brightened her somehow. He wasn't a baby anymore, but he was there. It was more than what she had when she was at home by herself. She tried to tell herself that he still needed her, just in different ways, but it didn't fill the gaping hole in her heart.

Crowley too found himself impacted by the events of his reversion to infancy. He continually longed for the closeness of his mother that he had had then. When he didn't have much to do in hell, he ended up reflecting on childish things until he snapped himself out of it. He had secretly been relieved when Mummy had done a final check on him before she left and found no trace of the spell remained. But that made him worry at the same time. If the spell was gone, why was he thinking this way? The answer he came up with disturbed him.

Because it was something he wanted.

At first he had vehemently denied it to himself. That was ridiculous. He was the king of hell for god sakes! He had a reputation to uphold. But the longer he took the time to think things through, he realized that maybe it wasn't so ridiculous after all.

As an actual child his mother had been distant and cold. But this time, she was different. Mummy was sweet and kind, caring and compassionate. He had felt her unconditional love for the first time, and it was as addictive as a drug. One taste, and he was hooked. He felt loved for the first time in his life. He wanted, no- he _needed_ to feel that way again. And this seemed like the only way to do it.

One day, he decided that he had to be brave. He had to tell her these things himself. The voice telling him to do childish things for comfort were becoming louder- too loud to ignore anymore. So he went to her house, but found it empty. There was only one other place she might be. So he found himself in the nursery. The voice screamed out to him, and he resisted the urge to suck his thumb.

Turning left, he saw his mother smiling at him from the rocking chair.


	32. Chapter 32

Crowley felt himself start when he saw her, despite having come to look for her in the first place.

"Mummy. You startled me." He said. She smiled, a tiny half grin as she looked at him.

"Now you know how I feel when you do that to me." She almost laughed. Almost. When she saw the pensive look on his face, she frowned. "What's wrong, Fergus?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Come now dearie, I'm your mother, I know when something is wrong."

He felt surprise color his expression. Then, he smiled a bit to himself. Of course she knew. But then, he felt himself worry. How was he going to explain himself to her? This wasn't normal. This wasn't something you could tell anyone. But… who else would understand better than his mother? Still, felt his fears take over. He was surprised when her expression softened and she took his hand.

"Are you alright?"

He felt himself still. He almost said no, but he felt himself barely, just barely, shake his head no. He watched his mother's eyes fill with worry. She sighed quietly, and then stood up. She pulled her son over and had him sit down in the rocking chair. She knelt down on the floor until she met his eye level.

"What is bothering you?" She enunciated each word very specifically for him. He tried to break her eye contact, but she would not let him.

"I don't know how to say it." He found himself saying.

"If I have to look into your mind, I will." She said.

Somehow he found that oddly comforting. He wanted to say it though.

"I… I need to tell you something."

"Alright. I'm listening." She said calmly.

He knew she was trying to bolster him, but somehow it made his anxiety rise higher.

"Mummy… I… Do you… Do you remember when I told you that when you spoke in a higher voice that it made me want to do childish things?"

"Yes, I do." She said slowly, trying to figure out where he was going with this.

"There was… there is… a voice." He said. Trying to figure out what to say. "It tells me the same things."

Rowena frowned. "But I made sure that the spell was completely gone. There was no trace of it left."

Crowley felt his face burn red with embarrassment. The next word out of his mouth was the most difficult word he ever had to speak. "Exactly."

It took her a minute to process what he was saying. If the spell was gone, then… Oh. Oh. She felt herself smile.

"Fergus… Is the voice yours?" She asked.

His blush brightened, if that was even possible. Slowly, hesitantly, he gave her the barest nod.

To Crowley's surprise, instead of disgust, or anger, or any of the absolutely horrible reactions that he had pictured in his head when he told her what had been happening inside his head, she smiled and looked at him lovingly and went over to him, stroking his hair and sat on one of the arms of the rocking chair.

"I'm glad you told me." She said. "Because I've been thinking about the same thing."

His head whipped around so fast that he thought he might give his vessel whiplash.

"What?" He asked, surprised.

Rowena sighed, and decided to tell him the truth. "Ever since you were turned back i've been empty. I lost so much time with you when you were little. I felt so guilty… when I had to leave you behind I kept thinking about everything I was missing. I wondered what you were doing, and who you were becoming. And then I saw you in your dungeon, and I realized that you weren't dead. I tried to cover up the happiness and love with hate and anger. All because I was obsessed with my appearance… And then I realized what happened. And I saw how I had treated you. And when you let me in, It was like a whole new world had opened up in front of me. I thought that there was nothing better than that, but then those witches cursed you, and even though it was awful and I felt incredibly guilty about it, I was joyful because for the first time, I got to enjoy the time with you because you were little. I had never known joy like that before. I wanted it to last forever, but I knew it was selfish because you had your own life outside of me. But after what your father did to me I wanted to hold on tighter. You were the only thing that kept me going when he was…" She stopped, swallowed, and continued on after a pause, "…Beating me. And then we worked together to try and defeat him, and even though it was wonderful I wanted more. But once he was gone I couldn't put off the inevitable, so I cured you. Even though It broke my heart in a way. But I knew I had done the right thing for you. It eased my conscience, but not the selfish longing in my heart. So I came here, hoping that maybe for just a moment that that feeling would go away. And then, somehow, you gave me just what I needed."

Crowley listened to his mother's story attentively, surprised by what he had heard. He had known much of the first part, but the last was unexpected. How she had felt the same need he had. He was still surprised that she hadn't been repulsed by what he had said.

"So y-you're not… mad at me?" He was surprised at how feeble the words sounded.

"Of course not! Why would I be mad at you?"

He shrugged. He didn't know why. His mother wrapped her arm around him.

"Any time you want to listen to that voice inside of your head, you just let me know. I'm happy to help."

The two of them shared a smile for a moment before enjoying the quiet, happy moment they had found together.


	33. Chapter 33

For a long while neither Rowena or Crowley spoke. They were enjoying their time together, but they were also trying to figure out what the next step in this process would be. Of course they had each given their consent and voiced their desires to one another, but actually acting on them was an entirely different story. It seemed a step too far. It wasn't like they would both suddenly lose their inhibitions and just go for it. The process would take time and trust. Before it had been easy- magic had been involved and Fergus had had no choice in the matter. But this kind of behavior and relationship was a completely deliberate choice, and therefore realms away from the easy life they had known.

The silence stretched on for minutes until Rowena finally figured out something to say.

"Fergus?" She asked quietly, so as not to startle him. He looked up at her.

"Yes?"

"Are you hearing the voice right now?"

The profuse blushing gave her the answer she needed, but she didn't miss the very slight nod of his head.

For a second or two, Rowena wasn't sure of what to do. She wanted this so badly for herself and her son, but at the same time she didn't want to do anything that would make him uncomfortable. It was a fine line she had to walk, and she wasn't sure how to toe it properly. Then, like magic, she knew what to do. She got up from the chair and knelt in front of her boy.

"When you were a wee lad, You had a blanket you took everywhere with you. You had it since you were just a bairn. You'd run around the village with it tied around your neck like a cape."

In his mind he thought he could see what she described happening, but it was a very foggy and distorted memory. Still, he nodded, unsure of where she was going with this.

With a bit of magic, she conjured the blanket into her hands and offered it to him. Perhaps this was the best way to begin this new relationship.

When he saw the blanket, a storm of hazy memories funneled into his mind. Memories he thought he didn't have. Running through green fields with the blanket flapping through the breeze, holding it under his nose to smell it for comfort if he'd had a particularly bad day, and rubbing it against his face while he sucked his thumb as a very small child. Before his mind could process what he was seeing, his body reacted for him and he reached out for the blanket. It looked ratty and dirty, but it was the same one. He knew it the instant he touched the soft fabric. Without really thinking about what he was doing, he took a deep sniff of the blanket and for a moment was in another world, where everything was utterly and completely blissful.

Rowena couldn't help but grin at the look on her son's face. She hadn't seen him look so peaceful in a long time. It gave her hope that maybe this was the right way to start things off. Small gestures that spoke volumes. Her thoughts were confirmed when her son's thumb slipped into his mouth. She didn't even think he realized he was doing it. She found himself smiling at him wistfully. It reminded her of easier times.

When Crowley opened his eyes after sniffing his blanket, he saw his mother staring at him with a kind of softness that he could barely remember her having before. He was about to ask her what she was looking at when he felt his thumb in his mouth. His face flushed deep red and he moved to take it out out of embarrassment, when his mother gently took his hand and stopped him.

"It's alright." She soothed, smiling at him. "That's what I'm here for." She guided his thumb back into his mouth and then stood up and stroked his hair, softly humming a tune she'd forgotten the words to long ago.

The sound of his mother's humming and the feel of her fingers running through his hair relaxed him even further. For the first time since his transformation was over he felt the safe, warm, loving feeling that he had sought after for so long. He felt elation cover his mind and his thoughts as he drifted into a place that wasn't sleeping, but wasn't awake either.

Rowena, completely happy and content with the moment, pressed a gentle kiss to her son's forehead. His face turned brilliant red, but she could tell that the gesture was not an unwelcome one. She knelt back down in front of him.

"Fergus." She said, but it was closer to a coo than a simple calling of his name. Crowley was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost didn't hear her. But some obscure sense told him to open up his eyes. Reluctantly, his eyes fluttered open and he was once again looking at the soft, smiling face of his mother. He took his thumb from his mouth, but kept a death grip on his blanket.

"Yes, Mummy?" He blinked a few times, trying to reorient himself with his surroundings.

"Listen to Mummy, please." She said, and waited until she had his full attention to speak again. "How do you feel right now, dearie?"

"Good…"

"That's good. Is the voice gone now?"

He had to stop and think about it for a minute before he nodded. The voice seemed to have been quieted.

"That's very good. I'm very happy to hear that. But I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay sweetheart?" He nodded, and she continued. "Any time the voice talks to you I want you to come and tell me. We can do this whenever you need to or want to. And if you want something or want to try something new, don't be afraid to ask me. I will do as much of this as you want. I am very proud of you for asking for what you need." She swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in her throat as she added, "And I love you very much." It was the first time she'd ever said it to him where he could remember it.

Crowley's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the declaration, but inside he was joyful. He had finally gotten his mother's love. He felt himself smile and reply quietly,

"I love you too, Mummy."

The two of them smiled at one another, and then shared a happy embrace.

This day was perfect.


	34. Chapter 34

The first day of age playing went extraordinarily well between mother and son. Rowena had been afraid of overstepping her bounds, especially in those first crucial hours. But the reactions that she had anticipated had never materialized. Fergus trusted her more than she had anticipated, and it eased her mind considerably. He wasn't hesitant to lean into her touch. She even got to hold him on her lap for a while. The closeness was healing for her. She kissed him without feeling that he would rebuff her. That alone was a huge step. But she held off on some of the more… eccentric ideas that she had envisioned happening. But she knew that he might soften with time.

After that day, Crowley didn't feel as embarrassed about his desires. His mother made him feel completely safe. It was a curious thing he felt. He had never felt a mother's tenderness before, at least not while as an adult, so the sensation was new, but certainly not unwelcome. He was surprised every time she touched him or kissed him, but he was happy that she was willing to do it. It was helping to foster his trust in her. Gradually, he found himself letting his guard down. His inhibitions were gradually lessening and loosening. But he knew that there were still many hurdles that they would have to overcome together.

They wanted to try and do it again, but they were both busy with the demands of Hell. Rowena had stepped up and had become a sort of advisor to her son, so the demons held her in high esteem. Between dealing with matters in hell and checking in with the Winchesters, there wasn't any time for them to be alone.

However, that didn't stop Rowena from planning their next nursery visit.

She was a pro at online shopping, so she decided to do a little bit of shopping for their newest endeavor. The wifi in hell was excellent (at some point she would have to ask her son how he got such excellent reception), and it took her almost no time at all to find what she needed. She had it delivered to her home and brought the packages down one at a time to not attract attention. She unpacked everything and smiled when it was done. She would make everything perfect for her boy.

The next time the two of them got to go inside together was two weeks later. Crowley had been hassled by the Winchesters into checking on Lucifer- three times in one week. The demands were really beginning to get to him, so his mother had taken over and insisted that he take some time for himself. When he entered the room, he was surprised.

The room itself hadn't changed, but the items inside had. Everything was made for him at his regular size. He was speechless for a moment, but quickly recovered himself.

"You went shopping." It came out surprised. She smiled.

"I did." She said. "Only the best for my boy." She wrapped an arm around him. "Come on now, let's get you into something more comfortable."

Before he could ask what she meant, she led him in and got him dressed. Once that was done, Rowena cradled him in her arms in the rocking chair, humming to him, and handed him his blanket. He cuddled it to his chest and was about to put his thumb in his mouth, when he found the rubber nipple of a pacifier placed in his mouth instead. He looked up to his mother, confused.

"I want you to have something clean to suck on instead of your thumb." She explained. He nodded, but found he didn't care either way. She ran her hands through his hair and began humming his favorite lullaby. Slowly, Crowley rested his head on his mother's chest and listened to the steady beating of her heart, that eased him into that odd place between sleep and wakefulness.

Meanwhile, the Winchesters found themselves up a creek without a paddle. Their suspicions about Lucifer had thus far been completely unfounded. There were other cases that still needed to be cracked. They couldn't spend valuable time chasing their own assumptions when there were people out there who needed their help. So, extremely reluctantly, they put the case on hold for now. Still, neither one ever took their eyes off of the fallen angel. They did rest a little easier knowing that Cas was still on patrol one hundred percent of the time, but it still didn't make up for the feelings of anxiety that manifested themselves in their thoughts late at night.

Little did they know, their worries were correct, for in the most embryonic of early stages, Lucifer had begun to plot a scheme to take revenge on Crowley for ruling his kingdom.

He had been watching Crowley for some time now. He had seen the entirety of Rowena's growing relationship with her son through Angus' eyes once he turned into a cat. Angus had returned to the cage after his transfiguration and had accepted him. He had anticipated Rowena's move after learning of what she had done to former coven priestess Olivette and had prepared accordingly. The oddity of their new relationship was not lost on him, but he didn't find it disgusting. He found it amusing. It was just one more thing he could use for blackmail. Now, all he had to do was find the best time to act on his brilliant plan. He paced the hallways in his feline form. He knew that word would soon get out that he was no longer in the cage, but being able to track him would be almost impossible if he was in an animal form. But he wouldn't put it past his annoying little brother and those idiot Winchesters to try and track him down.

But for now he pranced down the halls quite contentedly, knowing that very soon, his time was coming.


	35. Chapter 35

Crowley found himself feeling happy for the first time in a very long while.

His mother's lap had quickly been becoming one of his favorite places to be. Laying there while listening to her heartbeat soothed him like nothing else. It was strange to feel the attachment growing between them. It was so odd to think that there had been a time not so long ago that the two of them had hated and tried to kill one another. Now he couldn't imagine life without her. He opened his eyes blearily to see his Mummy smiling down at him. He smiled back and nestled further into her embrace. He was pleased when his mother's grin widened. For a long time, they stayed that way, happy and content. His eyes closed again.

It wasn't until he heard his name that his eyes opened again.

"Fergus?" Her voice gently prodded him to wake up. When his eyes pried themselves open, he saw his mother's gentle smile. "There's my wee boy."

He squirmed a little in her arms, trying to wake himself up. Then, after a minute or two, he blinked several times and mirrored her expression. She laughed a little, and he wondered what was so funny.

"Mummy." It was a sigh, barely audible.

"You look tired. Are you alright, Dearie?"

He nodded. He didn't feel like talking.

Rowena sighed and held him close, just enjoying their proximity to one another. "How about I tell you a story?" She asked.

He nodded. That sounded nice.

Rowena began rocking the chair they were settled in, and then she began to speak.

"Once upon a time a long time ago, there was a young girl who grew up on a farm. When the girl was five years old, her mother died. Her father, who used to be loving and kind to the girl, became angry, abusive, and absent. Every night he would leave and the girl would wait until he came home. He would be drunk by the time he got back, and would treat the girl very badly. He remarried shortly after, but the stepmother never stopped him from hurting her. She stayed there until she was eighteen years old, and her father hired a farm hand to help with the labor. The boy was charming and sweet, and made the girl feel beautiful. She believed that he would take care of her all of her days. One day the two of them finally had enough money to leave, and they moved to another house in the village. But once they were alone together, the man's personality was revealed. He was a cold, cruel man who treated the girl the same way her father had. The girl wanted to escape, but she knew she had nowhere to go. It was either stay with him or go home to her father. And she refused to let him know that she had failed. Over the next few weeks she got very sick, and thought that perhaps she was dying. But as time went on, she realized that it wasn't a sickness. She realized that she was pregnant. She could picture that baby inside of her, and wanted to give it a better life. She had the talents of a natural witch, and knew that the only way to save her baby was to use it. So one day while her boyfriend was away, she learned a spell that would make him stop hitting her. And it worked. She had hoped that now that he wasn't hurting her that they could be a family, but when the time came, he decided to leave her. It broke her heart. And she was afraid that that baby boy would hurt her just like every other man in her life had. She learned to hate him instead of loving him like she should have. But somewhere deep inside, she knew that she still loved him. One day, she decided to give herself and him a second chance and try and be the mother he deserved. By some miracle, he forgave her, and the two of them lived happily ever after. The end."

Crowley stared up at his mother in wonder. Much as he had tried in the past, he had never been able to get Mummy to tell him much about her past. The quote he remembered her saying the most from his childhood was "The past doesn't matter. The future is what's important." He had had so many questions growing up, ones that she had never answered herself. Now she was finally filling in some of the blanks. He had heard stories from people like Olivette and a few others, but he had never gotten the privilege of hearing one from Mummy herself. This was the most personal thing she had ever told him, and it shocked him to say the least. He reached up to her and patted her cheek in a small gesture of thanks. How could he explain to her how much this meant? To finally know about his family and where he had came from. He snuggled up to her and felt her cool hands stroking his hair as she hummed to him soothingly. The sound was like a relaxant to him, and he felt like jello in his mother's arms.

The moment was completely warm and perfect.

Unfortunately, it was about to come to a swift and bitter end.

Lucifer had been able to commandeer another vessel after Angus had accepted him. Unfortunately for Angus Lucifer never followed through on his promise to change him back. Lucifer had spent the past few days gathering up his followers for one imperative strike to take hell back under his control and to bring both Crowley and Rowena down for good.

They waited several hours in the hall until The two finally came out of the nursery together.

There, at the end of the hallway and flanked by twenty demons, stood Lucifer. He grinned.

"Hello, Rowena. Hello Crowley." He said, smiling wickedly at them. "Do you want to play?"


	36. Chapter 36

Rowena took three seconds to react.

One- Her eyes grew wide.

Two- Her breath caught in her throat and her heart missed a beat.

Three- She turned her son around and pushed her son down the hall to try and get him out of there.

There was only one place where they might be safe- The nursery.

Rowena had placed powerful enchantments and wardings on the room. She had made the room very specific in what it could do, and whom it warded. The door itself was completely invisible. Only tapping the correct brick pattern would reveal it, and even then if a demon looked into the room they would only see an illusion of a sitting room. Though, to high-ranking demons, angels, and archangels the illusion could be easily seen through. Only herself or Fergus could enter the room, and the room itself was warded against almost every monster imaginable. Rowena had made certain that enchantments were placed on the doorway in case anyone did try to enter. They would forget why they were there, or would have a false memory about the room implanted in their mind to make sure that they never knew what it was really for.

Rowena sprinted down the hallway and made sure Fergus got into the room, before she crossed the threshold herself. Twisting herself around, she saw Lucifer and his cronies bolting toward the door, and she slammed it shut. Her breathing was heavy, and her maternal instincts were blaring full blast. She had to do something and she had to do it now before her baby paid the price. She leaned against the door and looked at her son, who nodded.

The two of them had rehearsed this scene many times before. Rowena had had her suspicions about what Lucifer might do to the both of them, so she had routed an escape plan from every room Fergus had been known to frequent, this one included. Rowena opened her hands and raised them to her chest.

"Et iterum modicum, facile ad filium meum!" She cried, extending her arms toward him.

A burst of blue light flashed from her hands and she watched her son be transfigured back into his infant self. They had both agreed that it would be easier for the two of them if she could carry him and make him less of a target that way. Crowley knew that if there was only one place in the world that he was safe in, it was in his mother's arms. Rowena wasted no time and grabbed the diaper bag she had put aside for just such an emergency. She slung the bag over her shoulder before coming over and picking up her little boy. She could feel time slipping through her grasp, and knew she had to act fast.

"Castiel, my son is in danger. We're coming to the bunker." She prayed aloud. Just as she had clutched Fergus to her chest, the door to the nursery imploded with a blast that shook the floor and rattled the bookshelf, dresser, rocking chair, and crib against the walls.

Rowena screamed. It was loud, and rang out clearly throughout the room as she angled herself over the baby in her arms to protect him. Shrapnel sliced through her, dozens of splintered off pieces of wood jabbing her in the back, shoulders, and arms. But she didn't feel anything. She was totally and completely numb to any feeling in her body. All she cared about was getting her child out of there.

She whirled around to see Lucifer standing in the doorway.

"Trying to get your baby boy out of here?" He cooed in a voice too sweet to belong to him. "Where will you take him now to be the baby we both know he truly is? Well, take it from me: You'll never find another place again. Because this kingdom is mine. And I will always be able to find you." He threatened.

Rowena didn't listen to him, and muttered a spell that would teleport the both of them safely out of the room.

She appeared outside the old man hole that led to the Men Of Letters Bunker. Her son had begun to cry after the teleporting, and She bounced him gently, hushing while she climbed down in the hole. By the time she got to the entrance, Fergus had calmed down some, but she continued to bounce him and cuddle him, perhaps more for her comfort than his.

She banged on the steel door, feeling her chest tighten with panic the longer she was left waiting. She was as exposed as she could be, even down here. She knew Lucifer probably already had Demons scouring the earth for her and her son. The idea that he was already hunting her like a hawk would a mouse disturbed her deeply. More than she wanted to admit.

The frantic banging on the steel door sent the Winchester brothers flying up the stairs to see who was there. When they opened the door they were shocked to see who was there.

There stood Rowena, Wood splinters decorating her hair and a few small cuts on her arms. She was panting like a dog on a hot summer's day, and looked disheveled, having obviously left somewhere in a hurry.

Before the two of them could get a word in edgewise, she was inside of the bunker and rushing down the stairs before sitting down at the nearby table and trying to slow her breathing.

"Rowena? What the hell?" Asked Dean. At that very moment, his phone began to ring.

"Hey Cas. You'll never guess who just showed up."

"Rowena."

"How did you-?"

"She prayed to me."

"Okay. We'll see you soon then."

They said their goodbyes and two brothers looked at their guest.

"Rowena, why are you here?" Asked Sam. Rowena looked him in the eye, and he could see the fear in hers. Shaking slightly, she finally spoke:

"Lucifer is back."


	37. Chapter 37

Rowena sat with a cup of tea clasped in both hands and her son babbling cheerfully in her lap as she tried to calm down. Sam and Dean sat at the table, eyeing her suspiciously. They didn't trust her as far as they could throw her, but they knew she would have never lied about this. What else could have shaken her up so badly and driven her here into the arms of her enemies?

"Where's feathers?" She asked, taking a sip of tea and setting it down delicately.

"He was on a hunt with his vessel's daughter. He'll be back soon." Dean said. Rowena nodded.

"What happened?" Sam asked. Rowena shifted uncomfortably in her seat and held her son a bit closer. She needed him to anchor her in these moments when her heart was heavy and her mind was weak.

"We had just finished with one of our meetings and came out of the room and he was standing there in the hallway with at least a dozen demons flanking him. I rushed Fergus back into the room and changed him so that it would be harder to track him. Lucifer blasted the door off of it's hinges. He… He threatened us, and we barely got away. And that's when I came here."

They nodded. It sounded likely. They took everything Rowena said with a grain of salt, but this had to be the truth.

Rowena cleverly left out what she and her son had really been doing. In part to protect his privacy and her own. But now that Lucifer knew, she knew it was only a matter of time before the word got out. The aftermath would be ugly, but she thought it best to focus on the problem at hand first, and worry later.

"So what's our next step?" Asked Dean. The three of them eyed one another and shrugged.

"Let's wait for Cas to get back and then regroup." Said Sam. It was getting late anyhow.

"Is there a place where we can stay?" She asked. Sam nodded and led her to a bedroom. There was one king sized bed and enough room for a crib nearby. It didn't take advanced magic for her to construct the essential nursery supplies for her son. When a crib and changing table were conjured, she got Fergus into the bathtub. She could have changed him back any time she wished, but she needed this. She needed to protect him. She needed to have him need her. She needed him to be little without being afraid. After his bath, She swaddled him in his treasured blanket and rocked him gently in her arms as she sang to him. These close, intimate moments with her child meant more to her than anything magic could give her. She watched him doze off in her arms, and held him for a long time before she laid him in his crib and got ready for bed herself. It took a while, but after listening to the steady sound of her son's breathing, she was asleep.

A loud bang suddenly thundered through the bunker, and she covered her ears, and got out of bed, wondering what was going on. The noise had woken Fergus up, and he was crying quietly nearby. She picked him up from the crib and held him in her arms, comforting him automatically as she padded across the floor in a black silk nightgown. Suspicious of what was happening, she opened the door the tiniest crack and peered out of the door.

Sounds of shouting could be heard from where she stood, but she could see two shadows fighting one another. It struck her suddenly that Lucifer must have found them and somehow penetrated the warding of the bunker. Rowena shut the door as quietly as possible, and then tried to figure out what to do.

She had learned the angel banishing sigil from her son a while ago. She could use that for Lucifer. But her own patented demon killing spell required ingredients that she didn't have. She'd have to worry about that later though. Lucifer was the main problem here. She set Fergus down in the crib (to his distress) and tried to find something sharp to draw blood with. She ran for the bathroom, looking in medicine cabinets for a file, a thermometer with a pointed tip, scissors- anything. She ran back into the room and was about to paint the sigil on the wall when the door slammed open.

There stood Lucifer, eyes blazing with anger, hatred, and yet a sense of serenity. As if he knew what the outcome of this encounter was going to be.

"Rowena. It's been a long time."

"I had hoped it would be longer." She said. She stood in front of the crib, blocking his path to her child.

"The last time I saw you you were good and dead." He smiled a little. "You looked prettier as a corpse."

She smiled right back. "And you looked better in the cage. Guess we're both out of luck, then." He smiled at the banter before his face grew serious.

"Stand aside, Rowena. I want the boy first, and then I'll be dealing with you later."

"Never going to happen." She said, shaking her head. His eyes narrowed.

"I'm asking you right now- politely- to step aside and let me handle my affairs with a little bit of dignity. Then maybe I'll have mercy on you and kill you quickly. I hate when things get messy, you know. There are some stains that can never come out of the carpet. Blood is one of them."

The threat iced her blood, but she would not show that she was afraid.

"I said no."

Lucifer's eyes narrowed, and he used his power to hold her still. She immediately went to fight back but found herself in iron chains. Then he let her out of the hold now that her power was cut off.

"I'll ask you one last time- get out of my way."

"Never."

"Fine then. You chose your fate."

The Winchesters appeared in the doorway just in time to see Lucifer's response. Using all the energy he could summon, he fired a powerful blast of energy at the Witch. White light blinded the room, and Rowena screamed a loud, piercing shriek at the top of her lungs as it hit. The moment after, she toppled to the floor, dead.

Only to wake up to the sound of a baby's cry an instant later.


	38. Chapter 38

Rowena felt her eyes snap open and gasped as she bolted upright in her bed. Her hand flew to her heart and she felt her chest heaving as she breathed in startled pants. Her eyes darted around the room, looking for any kind of danger, but they found none. Only the sound of her son crying could be heard. She threw the blankets off of herself and rushed to the crib, picking him up and cradling him in her arms. Gradually, her fear lessened as she realized that it was just a dream.

But, as a snide voice in her head liked to remind her, the recurring nightmare she had about Fergus being kidnapped had been just a dream too.

She purposefully slowed her breathing down, knowing that Fergus would not calm down if she was worked up. Then, when she had evened out, she put her attention on her son. She put his tiny head over her shoulder and bounced him slightly.

"There, there, my wee boy. Did you have a bad dream too? Don't cry, dearie. Everything's alright now. Mummy's right here. You're safe. You're loved. Everything is going to be okay."

Feeling stifled in the oppressively dark room, She decided to walk around the bunker for a little while. When Fergus had first came, she had done the same thing and walked around the barn in a desperate attempt to quiet him and get him to sleep so that she could get some shut eye herself. Doing it now was strange. Though the lack of barn smell was pleasant, she missed the occasional breeze of air that would sometimes run through her hair, carrying a fresh scent of grass and night. She missed the hay crunching under her feet, and she thought Fergus might have too. Now, what she missed most was familiarity. The halls she wandered were boring and bare. Devoid of personality. It made her feel cold somehow.

As she paced the hallways, Her son's cries lessened, and for that she was grateful. When he calmed completely, she was in a room with a couch in it, and sat down, moving to cradle him against her chest and began to whisper over his head.

"Fergus… Fergus, you are so loved. Mummy loves you. I would do anything for you. I'll do everything I can to keep you safe. Be strong my sweet wee boy. I know that you can save everyone from Lucifer. You have always had the power inside of you. Just look into your heart and you will find your strength. You've opened my heart to so many new things. And I couldn't be happier. I am so proud of you, dear. I have always been proud. I just didn't know how to show it. And for that I'm so sorry. I love you more than anything in the world. Never doubt that, sweetheart." She kissed his forehead tenderly, not knowing that she was being watched.

Castiel had arrived in the bunker not long before Rowena had begun her trek through the bunker. When he had glimpsed her roaming the halls he had decided to follow her, curious as to what was going on, catching the blue eyes of the infant looking over her shoulder. He had arrived in the room just as she had sat down with her baby. He heard her speech to the child, and smiled to himself. It was as he had suspected all along. Rowena did in fact love her son. She just kept it very well hidden. But in moments like these, it was hard not to feel something for her. A single mother who was an often persecuted witch that was a former victim of domestic violence trying to keep the most important person in her life safe. When he thought about it like that, compassion pulled at his heart strings, but he knew better than to confront her with this observation. Instead, he paced slowly away and went to find the Winchester brothers.

Rowena smiled when she saw that Fergus was nearly asleep in her arms. So she decided to seal the deal with a soft lullaby, gently easing him into sleep. She stayed still for a solid half hour to let him enter a deeper slumber. Only when she was certain that he was completely out did she slowly get up and take him back to the guest room. She silently cursed herself for forgetting to do a diaper check while he was still awake, and did one once they were inside. Her suspicions were right, and he was soaked. She thought ahead and started making him a bottle, then began the change, so that if he was startled from his sleep the warm milk could hopefully bring him swiftly back down into unconsciousness. Fergus stirred a little when she cleaned him with the wipes, but as predicted, the milk soothed him. When he was redressed and cleaned off, She gently laid him back down in his crib.

Rowena found herself at a loss for what to do next. She idled and sat on the bed. She was tired, but her nightmare had guaranteed that she wouldn't be sleeping again tonight. She had already taken a tour of the bunker with Fergus. Somehow it just didn't seem right to leave him alone. Not with his very life at stake. So what could with herself now? She hadn't brought anything of hers to read, and she couldn't leave the bunker. It seemed that for a long stretch of time, all she did was wait.

About an hour later (maybe more, she couldn't tell since there were no windows in the room) there came a knock at her door. She got up, smoothing out the black silk fabric of her nightgown before answering the door.

"Yes?" She asked, peering out the crack.

"Good. You're awake. Come on, we're going to have a meeting about what to do about Lucifer." Said Dean.

Rowena sighed. At least it was something to do.

Reluctantly, she picked Fergus back up and went out to meet up with the brothers and their angel in the library.


	39. Chapter 39

The sound of a tea kettle whistling drew Rowena into the kitchen from her spot on the couch. She used a bit of magic to get one of her teacups from home and teleported it there. She was lucky she had packed a few teabags in the diaper bag. If there was one thing that calmed her down, it was her favorite Cinnamon tea. She poured the hot water into the china cup and set the teabag in it to steep for a while. She delicately placed the china on the table, fearful of waking her still sleeping son.

Dean sat down rather noisily beside her, and Rowena hushed him. Sam and Castiel joined them much more sedately.

"Alright. Let's get this party going. What do we know so far?" Asked Dean.

"Lucifer somehow escaped the cage and got his old vessel back." Castiel began.

"He took back the throne of hell and scared most of the demons into siding with him." Sam stated.

"And now he's trying to kill my son and I so I can't send him back to the cage and Fergus can take over again." Rowena finished.

"Well, that's just dandy, isn't it?" Dean muttered, taking a long draught of beer. "Okay, the first thing we need to figure out is how he escaped. Maybe that can help us get him back in."

"There weren't any demons even remotely near that part of hell. The angels would have been in an uproar about it." Cas chimed in.

"And I haven't had any weird visions about the cage since Amara came out."

"Well if it wasn't the demons, and it wasn't any of us, who else could have done it?" Asked Dean.

Rowena took the teabag out of her cup when a sudden thought startled her enough that she dropped it.

"Angus…" She whispered.

Dean turned to her, confused and having not heard her murmured answer.

"What?"

"Angus, that ugly bastard. Angus must have let him out…"

"Wait, Rowena, didn't you kill him?" Sam asked, arching one eyebrow.

"We decided that killing him would be too easy so I decided to transform him into a black cat."

"But he needs consent to enter a body, he can't get that from an animal." Said Dean.

"But he wasn't all animal. His brain must have still been human." Castiel said, catching up to where Rowena was already. The four of them let that sink in for a minute or two. When it sank in, Dean ran a hand down his face.

"Son of a bitch…"

They all sat there a moment or two, unsure of how to proceed.

"That explains how he got out initially, but not how he got back into Nick."

"It isn't beyond his control to retake the same vessel. He could have easily tricked Nick into saying yes again." Castiel offered.

"Oh come on Cas, who the hell would be dumb enough to say yes to the devil twice?" Asked Dean.

"They don't have to be dumb, he just has to be smarter." Sam pointed out.

"Than what? A guy who already signed his life away, got used, and was free for maybe two minutes before he said yes again? Come on, Sam. That's ridiculous."

Rowena rolled her eyes.

"Can we get back on track here, boys?"

Three murmured apologies met her statement. It was at that moment that Crowley opened his eyes. Rowena smiled gently at him, and took his blanket off of him when he looked miffed at the idea of not being able to move. So she sat him on her knee, Then absently stroked his hair as he hit the table with one hand and held onto the blanket with the other.

"Now we know how he got out, but how did he get such a following?"

"He already had one. They've been trying to convert others to supporting him instead of Crowley, but that's been happening for centuries. There's been nothing to suggest that anything of this magnitude would take place." Cas murmured. They all dimly recalled Crowley mentioning the followers Lucifer was gaining some time ago. But it seemed like something out of a dream, it had happened so long ago.

Meanwhile, Crowley got restless sitting on his mother's lap, and began to squirm, asking in his own way to be put down. Rowena obliged him, barely turning away from her conversation to do so. He toddled across the room, eventually stumbling across a thick book that had been left on the floor against the wall. It was tricky but eventually he opened the book, and started turning it's pages.

Oblivious to her son's newfound activity, Rowena continued listening to the conversation between the Winchesters and their angel.

"Alright, we got all of that out of the way, but we still haven't hit the biggest problem. How the hell are we going to get him back there and make him stay there for good?" Asked Dean.

The first part was easily explained. Rowena would send him back to the cage with her magic. But making him stay was an entirely different story. The three of them started spitballing ideas to one another, but every one was shot down quickly.

Meanwhile, Fergus was busying himself with his book when suddenly the page gave him a paper cut. Instantly reacting, he let out a wail.

"Ma ma!"

Instantaneously alert, Rowena darted across the room to where her baby sat, much to the confusion of the three men in the room. She knelt down to his level and picked him up.

"Oh Fergus, what happened? Did you get a wee bruise?" She crooned to him. The volume of the cries lessened, but they did not stop. Finally, Rowena saw the cut. "Oh, did that mean old book scratch you? Mummy will make it all better." She kissed the wound, and wiped her son's tears until he calmed down. When he was put down, he patted the book in front of him. Rowena looked confused. "What have you got there, munchkin?"

When she saw the page, her eyes widened. Then, a smile graced her face and she laughed, kissing her baby proudly.

"That's my boy!"

She brought the book over to the table.

"Gentlemen, my son just found out how to lock Lucifer in the cage


	40. Chapter 40

Sam and Dean both leaned in attentively while Castiel looked perplexed.

"Well? Let's have it." Dean urged.

Rowena picked up the book and handed it to him. The book Crowley had found was in fact a spell book, stolen from a coven of witches in the mid eighteenth century. The bindings were old and the pages faded and yellowed, but it was still legible. Some of the ink on the pages was a bit smudged, as if someone had written things down in a hurry and had been unable to wait for the ink to dry. This page, however, remained pristine, as if it knew it was someday going to be a help to someone.

Dean glanced at it. His face went from curious to skeptical in about three seconds.

"An immobility spell? How is that going to help?"

Rowena sighed and rolled her eyes. Once again, the Winchester boys were oblivious.

"Did you even bother to read through any of it?" She asked. Dean scowled at her and kept reading. At the end, he quirked an eyebrow.

"It's a potion?" He asked, completely thrown off.

"Aye, that it is."

Dean was stumped. "How is this going to help keep him in the cage?"

Rowena shook her head. "Don't you see? If we coat the bars of the cage with the potion it could stop him from escaping. That spell is impervious to the powers of Demons and Angels. Neither of them could bring him back, and anybody who got in the cage to try and free him-"

"Would be unable to move." Finished Sam. Dean and Cas finally caught up to where they were already.

Rowena nodded, smiling proudly at her clever boy.

"That's brilliant." Sam remarked in surprise. Rowena smiled smugly at him.

"What else is new?" She asked, laughing. Then, she kissed her son's temple, making him giggle slightly. It made her smile grow even wider. When he started to try and wiggle against her grasp again, she put him down, enjoying the sound of his consistent babbling as a background noise to her conversation. She tuned back in to hear Sam and Dean arguing.

"There's one problem with your plan- how the hell are we supposed to get out once everything is coated?"

That stopped Sam in his tracks. He tried to find a good reply, but none came. His brother had him cornered there. What could help with that?

Rowena decided to chime in. "I know a levitation spell that might come in handy."

Sam shot dean a knowing look, as if to say "I told you so".

Dean just looked at him, smiling a little. "Bitch."

"Jerk." The two of them shared a grin.

"How long does this potion take to make?" Asked Castiel.

"Not long. An hour and a half tops."

"And the levitation spell?"

"Piece of cake. Nothing I can't do in a pinch."

"Guys, I think we're missing one vital question here." Said Sam. The three of them looked at him curiously.

"How are we getting Lucifer back in there?"

Cas and Dean considered this for a moment, but Rowena wasted no time in charging ahead of them.

"I'll be glad to do the honors on that one."

Six pairs of eyes turned to look at her. There was no doubt that she meant what she said, but they were skeptical as to wether or not her motives were pure and her loyalty was entirely on their side. She sighed.

"Lucifer snapped my neck, partnered with my abusive bampot ex, and terrorized my son and drove us away from our homes. He has been toying with my family for far too long. It's high time he paid the price for what he's done. I won't stop until I have his head on a platter. I won't let him get away with it. Not this time. When I'm through with him, he'll wish he'd never been created."

Silence met the statement, and Castiel shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Dean took a too-long drink of beer, and Sam appeared to be the only one listening to her. He nodded.

Dean, now slightly intoxicated, asked the question they were all thinking.

"How do we know You'll stay on our side and not switch at the last minute like you have for pretty much every major fight we've been in?"

Rowena had opened her mouth and was about to protest his accusation when she heard it. The lack of sound. More specifically, the lack of sound from her son. It wasn't uncommon for Fergus to get tired and fall asleep after playing a while, but considering that he had just woken up from his not-quite-a-nap-but-still-not-a-sleep, she knew that wasn't likely. The silence settled over the room, and it didn't take more than a half second for Rowena to become incredibly suspicious. She got up from her seat so quickly that it rattled her teacup against the china.

"Fergus?" She called. There was no answer. It took less than the space of a heartbeat for her anxiety to skyrocket. "Fergus, where are you?" She tried again. She walked around the corner, and was met with a sight that melted her heart.

There sat her little boy, with a look of concentration on his face. He had somehow managed to find a small bowl, and had found some type of seemingly sticky substance and filled the bowl with it. He was currently staring at his hands, which were coated with it, like they were the most fascinating things he'd ever scene. Rowena laughed delightedly and scooped up her inquisitive child, just in time to stop him from putting his fingers in his mouth.

"Now Fergus, don't do that! Your fingers are dirty!" She scolded gently as she took him to the sink to clean his hands. When he looked at her, obviously angry about his fingers being taken away, she quickly replaced it with a pacifier and took him back to the table in her lap. She looked each of them in the face and paused a long moment before speaking again.

"This is why I'm fighting." She said solemnly.

Slowly, approvingly, they all nodded. She was serious this time. They formed a pact together.

This time, they were taking Lucifer out for good


	41. Chapter 41

There were a few days remaining before they planned to strike. Rowena had the enormous task of preparing several spells and potions to immobilize and execute Lucifer while still taking care of her son. Caring for him alone was enough of a task, but doing it while multitasking and tryng to get a few potions and spells exactly right was often overwhelming. She often found herself wondering how working mothers did it all. Trying to stretch herself between work and her family was utterly exhausting. And the lack of sleep and recurring nightmares weren't helping matters any, and she often felt like a walking corpse.

Mostly though, in those crucial days of planning, preparing, and progressing with her work, she tried to spend as much of her time as she could possibly spare with her son. Maybe it was the constant nightmares, or the sense of paranoia in the air, but Rowena was filled with a primal sense of foreboding. She found herself emitting an anxious aura, and cradled her son more tightly, as if she feared he would be taken from her soon. Some obscure sense told her that her time was limited with him, just as it had the first time she had been forced to kill herself to save him. That time her son had saved her, but she feared that the next time he wouldn't be able to. Or worse, that she wouldn't be able to rescue him once more.

It was a crisp evening in Lebanon, Kansas, but down in the bunker it was always perfect. Yet somehow, to Rowena, it seemed to be freezing. She guessed that it must be close to nine, but there was no clock in the room, so she couldn't tell. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing her hands on her thighs as she sighed quietly. She had put Fergus to bed an hour ago, and could hear his soft breathing. She was in her pajamas, make up removed, and about to go to bed herself, but something was keeping her awake. She always felt more anxiety when Fergus was out of her grasp. She had to keep him within her sight at all times. When he was out of her peripheral vision her whole body shook with panic. She had seriously debated taking him into bed with her for the night, but she didn't want to foster unnecessary insecurities in her child, even if this was only a temporary state of being for her son.

She could hear the Winchester brothers talking through the echoes through the hall, and figured Castiel must have been somewhere nearby. They had checked in on her progress periodically during the day, but when it came to the nights she was alone. She could have come out any time she wished, but she didn't want to be around them. They reminded her too much of her son and what she stood to lose.

She stood up, unable to endure the stillness. She ended up pacing around the room. The nightmares, new and old, flashed through her mind, along with Lucifer's earlier words to her. She felt her skin crawl at the memory of his voice.

"Where will you take him now to be the baby we both know he truly is? Well, take it from me: You'll never find another place again. Because this kingdom is mine. And I will always be able to find you."

Lucifer knew their secret. He could ruin absolutely everything that she had worked so hard to build. She was afraid of what he could do to the both of them. He could reveal their age play to the residents of hell and completely discredit her son as a ruler of hell. It could also ruin her reputation, but that was so far on the back burner on her mind. She feared for her son far more than she did for herself- it was a testament to how far she had come in the time they had been together. She wanted to talk to her son in his adult mindset and see what he thought of this, and what plans he might have to correct the situation. But she was in too deep to do that. To change him back and reveal what Lucifer had discovered was too much of a risk. It would be better if she kept it to herself for now.

She felt her frustration growing, making her heart beat faster and anger flow through her in a sort of mini adrenaline rush. She picked up a pillow from her guest bed and hit it against the mattress over and over again until her fury ebbed, and she was left with a hollow emptiness inside. She felt something wet on her cheek, and for a second wondered if the roof was leaking, before remembering that that was impossible. A second later she realized that she was crying. She sank back onto the bed, buried her face in her hands, and sobbed as quietly as she could so as to not wake her son. Her emotions swept her away, running past her at a hundred miles an hour, so fast that she couldn't name them. For about twenty minutes she gave into the sleeplessness, anxiety, anger, and terror, and let everything out.

Then, when she was completely out of feelings, she began to piece herself back together again. The doorway to feeling emotions, or feeling anything at all for that matter, was shut nice and tight. She fell backwards onto the bed, and stared up at the ceiling for just a few minutes. Then, she pulled the covers back from her bed and crawled underneath. Her gaze rested on her son for a moment, and she watched to make sure he was still breathing. When she could make out the rise and fall of his tiny chest, she calmed a little more. She sighed softly to herself, and shut her eyes in hopes of finally getting a good night's sleep.


	42. Chapter 42

The sun rose over the horizon on an unusually bright Thursday morning in Kansas. Despite being unable to see the sunrise, Rowena ended up getting up right when it came up. Today was the day that part one of their strike against Lucifer would take place, and although she was dreading it, she was anxious to get it over with. Checking in the crib, she saw that Fergus was still sleeping peacefully, and decided to take a shower and get ready while he was still out. She tried to keep her shower as short as possible in case her son woke up, but she couldn't help taking a moment or two to just enjoy the feeling of the warm water cascading down her back. Reluctantly, she got out of the shower and got dressed in a long sleeved, tightly fitted green dress with no back. She put her hair up in a bun instead of letting it hang down as she preferred it to in case she had to fight. She didn't want it to be able to be used against her. She did her makeup in the bathroom, and just as she finished applying her lipstick, she felt Fergus wake up. She put everything away, and opened the door. Sure enough, Fergus was screaming. Her day had begun.

Rowena took her time to bathe her son and get him ready for the day ahead. Both the Winchesters and Castiel had protested the idea that she would bring him along to their little escapade, and in truth she didn't want to bring him anywhere near Lucifer. But the fact remained that she could not leave him alone, and there was no one she trusted to watch him, so she was forced to bring him with her into the fray. When he was cleaned up, she heated him up a bottle of milk, placed him on her hip, and brought him down into the kitchen.

It seemed the Winchesters shared her early morning waking, because they were already in the kitchen drinking coffee. They nodded their hellos to her, and she set Fergus on the floor before filling a tea kettle with water and setting it on the stove. Then she picked her son up and settled him into her arms to feed him a bottle. Just as she finished feeding him, the kettle began to whistle. She burped him quickly, wiped off his face, and set him down before pouring herself some water into a cup, and making herself some tea. When she sat down, the Winchesters and a newly arrived Castiel sat down at the table alongside her.

"Are we all ready for today?" Asked Dean. They each nodded their consent. "Alright. We leave after breakfast."

The four of them had breakfast at the table together, then they helped Rowena gather up her supplies, packed them in the trunk of the Impala, and hit the road. Rowena held her son in her lap the entire ride there. A feeling of nervous fear made her stomach twist into knots, but still she continued on with their plan. They arrived at the same house in Michigan that they came to the last time they got near the cage. Sam and Dean decided to be the ones to go inside the cage. Sam was a little nervous about going in, but he would not be deterred. Besides, whoever was left would have to hold Crowley while Rowena did her spell, and he was just to creeped out by him to do that. The two of them held two buckets full of the potion, and some paint brushes. They were going to coat every bar of the cage to make sure he could not escape. They had to be careful though, they couldn't get any of the potion on themselves or risk being immobilized themselves.

Rowena handed Castiel her son and smiled at him, before she cast the levitation spell.

"angelis, exaudi orationem meam, levate hunc in aere volitant suscitabis eum de terra usque dum dicam reverti!"

A blast of blue light came from her hands before it faded away. For a moment or two, nothing happened. Then, slowly, they lifted from the ground. She smiled, proud of herself, before she cast the second spell to zap them inside of the cage. When that was finished and she made sure they were safely inside, Rowena took her son from Castiel and kissed him on the forehead. They had made it this far. Now all they could do was wait.

Castiel felt nervous not being in there with the brothers, but he knew that he couldn't risk getting caught in the cage. His brother would show no mercy to him being in there, of that he was sure. It felt odd being with Rowena and Crowley, but not like it used to. He had watched Rowena grow and change as she fell in love with her child, and it had alleviated much of his animosity toward her. To know that she was capable of love and was now openly showing it was something he believed that she could do. It proved to him that she wasn't all bad.

The minutes that followed the brothers entrance into the cage were riddled with anxiety for those who were left behind. For a long while, nobody said anything, too panicked about being exposed to do anything else. For too many long and tense moments, there was nothing. Then, finally, there was sound.

"We got it! Get us out!" Yelled Sam. Rowena handed her son to Castiel once more and cast the spell to bring them back out. The second they hit the ground, the four of them were bolting back to the Impala. Dean put the keys in the ignition and sped away as fast as he could, not slowing down until they were several states over.

When they finally got back to the bunker, they all smiled. Phase one was complete. Now all they had to do was wait until tomorrow to finish their plan and take lucifer out for good.


	43. Chapter 43

As happy as the four of them were about the first phase of their plan going over successfully, The Winchesters, Castiel, and Rowena all found themselves anxious about what was to come. Each member had their own levels of anxiety for their own reasons.

Dean was the most calm. They had taken Lucifer out before and they could do it again. There was nothing that could possibly go wrong if they stuck to their plan.

Sam was a bit less composed than his brother. Although he did believe in their plan, he was a man of smarts and logic. He knew that something could always go wrong with their kind of work. But he was more optimistic than not.

Castiel was the second most nerve wracked of the quartet. He knew his brother well and had seen what he could do. he was cruel, ruthless, cold, and calculating. If they made even one mistake, Lucifer would find his way to exploit that weakness and use it against them. Nothing could be hidden from an archangel of his caliber, and so Castiel found himself with a constant feeling of uneasiness in his body.

But the one who was the most anxious of them all was obviously Rowena.

Not only was she jumping into the fray of battle against an enemy who had once snapped her neck, but she was battling for the safety of two lives- her son's and her own. And she knew very well that things may come to a point where she may be forced to choose one. A few months ago the choice would have been so simple. She would have picked her own survival without question. But everything was different now. Now she would sacrifice herself for her son in a heartbeat.

She was standing in her room in the bunker, Carefully untangling a special necklace from her long red hair. It was a rather simple piece- A thin gold rope with a circular pendant of the tree of life on it. She placed it on the nearby bureau, then got her supplies ready. She was going to perform a special spell on the necklace, but she was purposefully keeping quiet about it. This wouldn't effect the Winchesters or Castiel at all, so they didn't need to know about it. She was simply preparing a spell to cast on the necklace that would come in handy if Lucifer happened to get too close and kill her again. It would protect her son if she could not.

She ground up some herbs and made a special powder to throw in with them. She mixed them up, added some lavender, and a few extra ingredients to make sure it would work. She added a few liquids, then made everything into a paste. It was a greenish blue color. She was careful to coat the entire necklace- not missing an inch. Then, knowing she had to wear it for a certain amount of time to activate the magic within, she put it on, grimacing at the slimy feel of it against her skin.

Then, almost instantly, she picked up Fergus, who had been playing nearby in a makeshift playpen on the floor. She had kept him as close as possible all day long, not wanting to miss a moment with her sweet little boy. She sensed that her time with him was going to be cut off quite suddenly someday. And that tomorrow was most likely that day. So she was going to spend all of her time with her baby. Hopefully he would be okay once she was gone. She pulled her son onto her hip and bounced him slightly.

"Well hello, my wee sausage! What were you up to in there, hmm? Were you having fun with your little toy?" She cooed. Fergus reached a chubby hand up to her face and patted her cheek, babbling cheerfully to his mother. As always, her son's obvious joy lifted her spirits. She couldn't help but smile at how earnestly he was trying to communicate. Though he knew a word or two, most of his speech was complete gibberish. But she found it endearing. Every actual word was made even more special because of it.

Rowena found herself taking her babbling son to a place in the bunker that she'd found one Night completely by accident. It was so well hidden that she didn't think that the Winchesters even knew it was there. It was a small sitting room that reminded her of her living room at home. Two leather chairs flanked a small side table, and a larger coffee table made of mahogany was in front of it. There was a fireplace inside of there- One whose chimney zig zagged through the underground to join with another to avoid raising suspicion. The walls were a soothing dark green, and the walls were flanked with books.

Rowena sat in one of the leather chairs, cradling her son in her arms. He looked up at her with his happy, innocent, and trusting gaze, and she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"Mummy loves you so much, Fergus. I will do whatever it takes to protect you tomorrow. I promise that I will never let anyone hurt you ever again. Especially not Lucifer. By this time tomorrow everything will be the way it was before. You'll be back to normal in no time. You'll have your throne back, you'll have your followers, and you will always have me, no matter what happens. I will never, ever leave you ever again. You are my joy, my sweet wee boy. I am the most lucky mother in the world. There is no one who means more to me than you." She kissed him again.

He giggled and wrapped his hand around her finger. "Ma Ma." He cooed. Rowena smiled and nuzzled his plump, velvety cheek, Then started tickling him until he exploded into laughter. She looked down at him happily.

"Mummy loves you, Fergus. Always."


	44. Chapter 44

The day of the strike against Lucifer dawned bright and clear. But before the sun was even up, Rowena was awake. Her sleep had been shoddy at best, and even when she did sleep she had horrific nightmares about Lucifer killing her, or, of course, her son. Every time she woke she checked on him. She made sure he was okay and breathing, and then went back to bed. When the analog clock on the wall read five thirty AM, she decided that there was no way she was getting back to sleep anytime soon and rolled out of bed. She showered, dressed in one of her less expensive dresses in case she was caught in some sort of bloodshed, and put on her makeup. Then, she went to get Fergus ready for the day ahead. She put him in a white t-shirt, a pair of denim shortalls, and some tiny socks and sneakers. Then, she went into the kitchen for breakfast.

Today she was the first one in the kitchen, which made it easier for her to do what she pleased. She brewed her usual cup of morning tea before she set to work on feeding Fergus. She wanted him to have energy in his system today, so along with his usual bottle she fed him two jars of baby food. The food got all over his face (but not on his clothes thanks to the bib she placed around his neck) and hands, and the sweet sight warmed Rowena's heart as she wiped him off with a warm washcloth. Dean and Sam came in shortly after, neither saying much. Castiel joined them last. None of them really spoke as breakfast was served. The atmosphere was too tense to really enjoy the meal set in front of them. Eating was something done on autopilot. Everything that morning was, seemingly. It wasn't until they got in the Impala that real life came flooding in again.

Two car doors slammed shut, and Dean turned to his brother, best friend, and enemy.

"So, are we all clear on the plan?"

Cas nodded. "I exorcise as many demons as I can to let you and Sam get to Lucifer."

"We distract him for as long as we can with a full frontal assault t." Said Sam.

"And then I come out of the nursery and send him back to the cage." Rowena finished.

Dean nodded. "Alright then. Let's do this thing"

The ride to the entrance of hell was long and uninteresting. Rowena could have teleported herself and her son to the nursery at any time, but she wanted to take the ride to have some more time with her son. When they finally pulled up, Rowena sighed. It was over much too soon.

Sam, Dean, and Castiel converged by the door, while Rowena and Crowley lingered behind. The three turned to the pair of them curiously.

"Well, it looks like this is our stop." She said. The three of them nodded. "Good luck, boys." She said, kindly.

They each nodded their thanks. She was about to teleport away when Dean's voice stopped her.

"Hey." He called. She turned back to regard him. He said nothing for a moment, then spoke: "Good luck to you too."

She nodded, and then she vanished.

The nursery looked exactly how it had when she'd left it. Nothing was out of place, but she supposed the demons- or at least Lucifer- must have come in here at some point. Rowena put her son down in the crib, knowing it was the safest place for him to be if someone surprised them. He pouted to her, but she ignored it in favor of getting the spell ready to send Lucifer back to the cage where he belonged. She got out her bowl and began putting in ingredients to combine together to send the devil packing.

She did not know that by doing this she had activated a silent alarm.

Lucifer and his demons had indeed been surprised by the Winchesters and Castiel, but they had not been surprised by Rowena. Clever as he was, Lucifer knew that she was bound to come home with her son eventually. So when two of his personal demons came up and told him that someone was making something in that room, he got on it right away. The Winchesters saw him leave, and put their blades through many to try and follow him.

Rowena was almost finished with the spell. Just a pinch of salt and it was done. But the anxiety in her chest told her to stop for a moment and be with her son. She knelt down and looked at him through the crib bars.

"Fergus, you are so loved. Momma loves you. I want you to be safe, and Be strong. And never forget how much I love you."

Fergus cooed at her happily.

Then, abruptly, the door slammed open, revealing Lucifer.

"Rowena." He nodded. "Stand aside and let me kill your spawn."

This was it. The final nightmare. She knew how this was going to end. She straightened up.

"No. I won't let you kill my baby."

Lucifer looked outraged, but before he could say anything, she spoke again. "But I'll give you something even better."

He raised an eyebrow. "Go on."

"You can kill me forever if you leave my baby alone."

He chuckled. "And why would I do that?"

"To make sure no one can send you back to the cage or dethrone you again."

She had a point. "Tempting. But… I'll have to say no."

She stepped forward, eyes blazing. "You take me. Just take me. Fergus won't bother you anymore. He'll be trapped like that until the day he dies." She lied. This made lucifer reconsider.

"Alright. Fine."

The Winchesters got through the door just in time to hear the last part. They watched Rowena walk over to Lucifer, and saw the devil put a hand on her shoulder. Tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks as she set eyes on her son.

"Goodbye, Fergus. Mummy loves you."

Before she could say anything more, a hand covered her mouth and she screamed out her son's name before her throat was slit and she fell to the floor, dead.


	45. Chapter 45

In the seconds that followed her death, Sam and Dean were overcome by a sense of dread. Their foolproof plan was just thwarted by a mother trying to protect her child. They couldn't be mad at her for doing what any decent human being would do, and thus were conflicted over her actions. But they knew that if something didn't happen soon, they were screwed.

Meanwhile in his crib, Crowley had watched the scene before him with confusion. As his mind had conformed to the body he was in, he couldn't understand what happened, but it frightened him. But that was okay, because he could call Mummy and she would make everything better.

"Ma Ma." He cooed. Then he waited. A few seconds passed by, and he frowned. Mummy wasn't here. That never happened. His Momma always came when he called. So, he tried again.

"Ma Ma." And he waited some more. When she still didn't come, his lip began to quiver and his eyes filled up with tears as he started to cry. Then, suddenly, someone was picking him up by the armpits. His tears halted as he looked up in bewilderment.

Lucifer had picked him up. "Is that your Mommy down there?" He crooned in a sickly sweet voice. "Well, Mommy isn't going to be there for you anymore." He sat him back down in the crib to deal with him properly.

Even as he spoke the words, he had not noticed the magic taking place.

Despite being blood covered, the necklace Rowena had put on that morning had begun to glow when her son began to cry. A bluish light surrounded it, and the light grew strong enough to make Lucifer look down. The light brightened until it was blinding, and then, in a flash, A blue ghostly figure of Rowena stood in front of the crib.

"Why does this not surprise me?" Sam heard himself murmur. Dean shrugged.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes at her. So, she had a back up plan after all? Well, no matter. He would finish off the rugrat with time to spare. But when he went to attack, he couldn't get past the ghostly figure. It was solid, like a human would be, but it was impervious to every attack he tried.

"What is this magic?!" Lucifer cried after the sixth failed attempt on the infant's life.

Nobody in the room understood what was going on, until a thought came to Dean. He thought of his own mother giving up her life to save Sammy. Perhaps Rowena had found a way to use this to protect him. He had been quiet while this was going on, but he spoke, surprising even himself.

"It was her sacrifice." He whispered. Sam looked at him, confused, as did Lucifer, who hadn't realized he was there. He thought he should probably be afraid that Lucifer would kill him, but he also knew that Lucifer wanted an answer, and wouldn't kill him until he got one.

"What? What are you talking about?" Asked Sam.

"She sacrificed herself on purpose." He realized. "She must have known that her sacrifice must have made it impossible for Lucifer to touch him."

"But why?" Sam pressed.

At the thought of his own mother, and how her sacrifice had helped protect them from an angry poltergeist in their old home in Kansas so long ago, Dean had to swallow to get rid of the obstruction in his throat. "Because a mother's love is a powerful thing."

Rowena's ghost nodded. When Lucifer had been sufficiently distracted, She had run to add the last ingredient to send Lucifer back to the cage. To banish him, she had to prepare a mixture of herbs and liquors, aligned a black candle in a hexagonal position encircling a blood sigil consisted with an encircled pentagram with various Enochian runes, an athame to draw blood from left hand palm, and a spit of saliva in right hand palm. After all ingredients were prepared, Rowena's ghost recited an Enochian incantation and clapped her hands as she spoke:

"Anan avar kavak."

In a burst of light, Lucifer was gone.

Sam and Dean stood there for a moment, dumbstruck, before they moved into the nursery. They almost didn't see Crowley get out of the crib, onto the floor, and crawled over to his mother's body. He curled up under her still warm arm, and fell asleep. When they saw that, they cringed. Then, they looked to Rowena's ghost.

"This was your plan all along, wasn't it?" Dean whispered. She nodded, fearful of waking her son. She put a finger to her lips to hush them, preserving her son's sleep.

Crowley awoke an hour later. When his eyes opened, someone picked him up and sat him down in the crib. But before he could see who it was, someone was saying words he didn't understand, and then he blacked out.

A bright light made every one in the room shut their eyes. When they opened them again, they were surprised. For the first time in weeks, Crowley was back in his adult vessel. He was about to greet the Winchester boys when he saw blood on the floor. His eyes followed the puddle until he saw that it was his mother. But standing right behind the body, was a blue colored, ghostly version of his mother.

"Mummy?" He asked confused. She smiled gently and nodded to him. The figure came close to him and ran a hand down his cheek. He had so many questions, but that gesture told him everything he needed to know. He nodded slowly. "I will get you back. I promise." He swore. She nodded, then stepped away. In a flash of blue light, she disappeared as quickly as she had come.

He looked at the Winchesters for answers when Castiel came in and saw Rowena's body. He shut the door quickly and looked to the other two for information. Both boys sighed and then gave a shortened version of events. But Crowley kept trying to figure out how he could save his mother now.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. He went to answer the door despite the Winchester's protests and, sensing that it wasn't a demon, opened it.

To his surprise, there stood Chuck Shurley.


	46. Chapter 46

Curious and shocked beyond belief, Crowley said the first thing that came to his mind.

"Chuck? What the hell are you doing in the middle of hell?"

Chuck looked at him with a small smirk. "Considering I kind of helped create this place, I don't think you have a right to ask."

"Since it's my bloody kingdom I like to think I do."

"Touché." Chuck said approvingly. "Still, though, I'd like to come in."

Reluctantly, Crowley stepped aside and let God enter the room, though he wasn't happy about it. Having moose, squirrel, and feathers in his most sacred place with his mother dead on the floor was already too much for him to handle. Still, he put up with it mostly out of curiosity as to why the big man in the sky himself was here. The door shut and Chuck turned to speak to them.

"Because of the four of you-"

"Five." Crowley corrected him. He would not let his mother be left out of this.

Chuck nodded. "Five of you, Lucifer will remain in his cage for a very long time. Hopefully forever, but if someone tries to break him out and it works, then all bets are off. But because of what you have done for humanity, and what you have done for me personally, I wanted to do this in person instead of indirectly like I had last time."

"Do what in person?" Asked Dean. It wasn't necessarily that he was suspicious of Chuck's motives. That wasn't it at all. He just believed that everything in life- even the good things- came at a price. Something good happening without severe consequences almost never happened in his life, so he always approached people saying things like that with caution.

"I want to give you a thank you gift." He said.

Sam and Dean looked at each other, Castiel tilted his head in confusion, and Crowley's eyebrows raised up in surprise.

Chuck went over to the Winchester's first.

"You boys have saved my creation too many times to count. So if there is something you want that you don't have, ask me now, or pray it to me later on." The brothers looked at one another and decided to wait and decide on what they wanted later on. So, Chuck moved on to Castiel.

"Castiel my son, you have done great things. You are exactly who I designed you to be, and more. I am proud of you. What can I give you to say thank you?" He asked. Castiel puzzled over the idea for a moment, before an idea struck.

"Can you- Can you bring Gabriel back from the dead?" He asked quietly. Despite the matching moans of the WInchester brothers at the thought of more of Gabriel's pranks being played on them, Chuck nodded. He closed his eyes, concentrated all of his energies, and a glowing white light emitted from his hands, before a figure began to form. Then, with one blast of light, Gabriel was there. Castiel felt his mouth open in shock before he hugged his brother. When the two of them and the Winchesters had struck up a conversation, Chuck turned to the king of hell himself.

"Crowley. You rule the empire my son once did. You have done horrible, torturous things to so many innocent lives. But you have shown where your loyalties lie and have proven that you are worthy of my trust. What can I do for you?"

Crowley looked into the eyes of God himself. "You already know."

"I do. But I want to hear you say it.

"I want my mother back." He said. Chuck nodded slowly, approvingly. Then he snapped his fingers once.

With a sudden gasp, Rowena shot up from her spot on the floor, coughing and sputtering as she did so. Crowley immediately rushed over to help her up. When she was on her feet, she finally got to look at who had helped her out. When she saw, the biggest grin split her face.

"Fergus." She said, hugging him. He was happy to return the gesture, despite the eyes he felt boring into the back of his head. "I knew you could do it." She said.

He couldn't quite remember what it was he'd done, but accepted her compliment anyways. Chuck, who had smiled at what he'd seen, went over to chat with his sons to give the pair some privacy. The sort of mini celebration of Lucifer's defeat carried on for quite a while. It wasn't until about an hour and a half later that things started winding down and the party began to break up. The Shurley family was the first to go, eager to celebrate Gabriel's return inter home in heaven. The Winchester's were the last to go. They still felt the odd sensation that they were missing something, but would return to that later. For now they would give mother and son some privacy.

When they were alone, Crowley sighed and sat in the rocking chair.

"I thought they'd never leave." He said. Rowena laughed.

"I thought the same. Sure took their sweet time about it." She said. Crowley smiled at her, and she leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"I'm so proud of you, Fergus. So proud." She said. Crowley's cheeks flamed bright red in embarrassment. But he said nothing about it. Instead, he replied with:

"I missed you, Mummy."

"I missed you too, sweetheart. But it's all over. I'm here now and I promise I won't be going anywhere again." She swore. She felt him grasp her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Crowley looked up at his mother. "So what will we do now that all of this is over? Go back to our normal lives?"

"That sounds exactly right to me." She said. She looked up at the clock. "How about I tell you a story before dinner?"

He smiled and nodded. They switched positions in the rocking chair and he sat in his mother's lap, listening as her voice carried him away.

"Once upon a time…"

As the story droned on, both MacLeod's unconsciously smiled. The evil that had threatened them for so long was gone. There was no one there to judge them, and no one to interrupt them. They weren't a witch and the king of hell. They were just mother and son, nothing more, and nothing less. For them, this moment was perfect.

It was exactly where they were meant to be.


	47. Afterword

**Dear Reader,**

What an exciting task it has been to pen this story for you all! I can hardly believe that it's already over and time to say goodbye! But as you have seen from the ending of the final chapter, I have left plenty of room for a sequel, so keep your eyes peeled and stay tuned to see if Rowena and Crowley make a triumphant return!

We've had a lot of fun as we made our way through this story and saw it all the way through to the end, but I wanted to touch on one of the more serious issues that this story has dealt with- Domestic violence.

Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.* As we saw with Rowena, domestic violence can happen to anyone at any age. And it isn't just women who suffer. Males encounter domestic violence with their partners very often as well. But domestic violence isn't just physical abuse. It can be emotional, verbal, mental, and financial. Here are some of the many different ways domestic violence can occur:

Physical abuse, such as kicking, punching, slapping, pinching, scratching, throttling, choking, spitting, and slamming someone against something.

Mental abuse, such as Controlling what the victim can or cannot do, Withholding information from the victim, Deliberately doing something to make the victim feel diminished or embarrassed, Isolating the victim from friends and/or family, Denying the victim access to money or other basic resources, Stalking, Undermining the victim's confidence and/or sense of self-worth, and convincing the victim she/he is crazy.

Financial abuse, such as withholding funds from the victim, not letting them have a private bank account or access to an account, or controlling what little access they have to money.

Verbal abuse, such as cursing, racial or religious slurs, blaming the victim for things that couldn't have been their fault, humiliating them, or threatening them.

Emotional abuse, such as demeaning the victim's opinions, making them feel crazy, Calling them names, insulting or continually criticizing them, Refusing to trust them and acting jealous or possessive, Trying to isolate the victim from family or friends, Monitoring where they go, who they call and who they spend time with, Demanding to know where they are every minute, Trapping them in their home or preventing them from leaving, Using weapons to threaten to hurt them, Punishing the victim by withholding affection, Threatening to hurt them, the children, your family or their pets, Damaging their property when they're angry (throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors, etc.), Humiliating them in any way, Blaming them for the abuse, Gaslighting them, Accusing them of cheating and being often jealous of their outside relationships. Serially cheating on them and then blaming them for his or her behavior, Cheating on the victim intentionally to hurt them and then threatening to cheat again, Cheating to prove that they are more desired, worthy, etc. than the victim is, Attempting to control the victim's appearance: what they wear, how much/little makeup they wear, etc., Telling the victim that they will never find anyone better, or that the victim is lucky to be with a person like them.

If you or someone you know has a partner with the following qualities, they may be in an abusive relationship, courtesy of YourTango:

1\. He pushes for quick involvement.

2\. There's constant jealousy.

3\. He's controlling.

4\. He has very unrealistic expectations.

5\. There's isolation.

6\. He blames others for his own mistakes.

7\. He makes everyone else responsible for their feelings.

8\. He's hypersensitive.

9\. He's cruel to animals and children.

10\. His uses "playful" force during sex.

11\. There's verbal abuse.

12\. There are rigid gender roles in the relationship.

13\. He has sudden mood swings. He switches from loving to angry in a matter of minutes.

14\. He has a past of battering.

15\. He threatens violence.

Often times the abuse in the relationship occurs in a cycle, termed the cycle of domestic violence or the cycle of abuse. It comes in four stages:

Tension building- The victim feels like they are walking on egg shells to please the abuser as stress from daily activities or occurrences angers the abuser and leads to a breakdown in communication.

The Incident- Any of the forms of abuse described above occurs.

Reconciliation- The abuser apologizes for his/her actions, they act caring and loving, and may swear to change.

Calm- Everything is good and no abuse takes place.

This cycle can go on forever if it is allowed to. Unless someone takes action to break it. If this cycle sounds too familiar to you or someone you know, it isn't too late to get help for yourself or for someone else. There are resources that can help you. I've listed a few below:

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) to talk to a trained professional about the violence.

Go to find a shelter near you

Go to learn more about Domestic Violence, read statistics, create a safety plan, find shelter, and more.

Download the Aspire News App for iPhone or Android. It looks like a news app but is secretly a resource for battered women. You can find resources, add emergency contacts and get help if your abuser is attacking you.

Call 911. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact emergency services.

To everyone who took the time to read this, Thank you so much. Hopefully the information and resources listed above can help save's someones life. To every reader, no matter the gender or nationality: stay aware, and stay safe.

Thank you to all of my wonderful readers for taking this journey with me. I hope to see you all again very soon!

With Love,

Holly

*=Bachman, R. & Saltzman, E. (1995). Violence against women: Estimates from the redesigned survey. Retrieved from .gov/content/pub/pdf/FEM-


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